Together Under The Moonlight
by HPslashSPNLuver92
Summary: Sequel to LUTM! AU, OOC, SLASH. Leaving the safety of his home, Sam Morgan steps into a completely new and different world he didn't even know about. Will he be able to cope with the trials of this life, when or if he becomes a part of it? Sam/Dean
1. Previously

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER: Every content, character, plot etc. that anyone is able to recognize as other's property is NOT mine. I have no intention to get into any trouble involving law and money.**

**ULTIMATE WARNING: So far most of my stories are turning out to be SLASH and MPREG. So they may contain mature, Male/Male Relationship and not so graphic sex scenes between two men. If you can't stand these or don't want to read them, please leave this story behind!**

**Hey, everyone!**

**Guess who's back! I had some time to think through the beginning, so I came up with a little glance back to Love Under The Moonlight as a Prologue. Just the greater moments of the story.**

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><p><em><strong>Previously…<strong>_

_ '__Samuel Morgan was partying free from care with his friends, reveling in his holiday…'_

_ '__Suddenly a man stood beside him…'_

_ '__Suddenly he froze: he heard something from outside. As he listened, he heard it again: a strange sound […] that rattling, slightly snarling panting was more fitting to a predator that ventured straight from the dark forest behind the house…'_

_ '__Far away from him, between two houses he saw someone spying on him, but he couldn't make out their appearance…'_

_ '__As Sam turned onto his stomach in his sleep, a figure blocked the moonlight coming through the window glass. His amber eyes were carefully examining the beauty lying before him…'_

' "_My beautiful…" the voice continued. "I left my mark on you… On that slim waist of yours…" '_

_ '__…the stalker will do everything to get what he wants. And his desire was Samuel Morgan…_

_ ' __"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" '_

_ '__Suddenly Sam noticed a dark figure looming behind him in the window glass. However, before he could reach for his gun, the figure grabbed him…'_

_ '__…the needle […] penetrated his neck slowly and carefully…'_

_ 'This was the guy from the club!'_

_ ' "By the way, my name is Dean" the man spoke politely…'_

_ ' "__Please" Sam begged quietly; a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Let me go…" '_

_ ' "…__I'll be good I swear…" '_

_ 'Dean let a last warning growl heard to which Sam replied with a surrendering whine…'_

_ '__He would have to punish the disobedient submissive!'_

_ '…__the feeling of vulnerability tames the victim in the quickest and most efficient way…'_

_ '…__his humiliation threw him across the line on the land of submission...'_

_ ' "__Instead of being afraid of you" Sam answered "I'm starting to…" '_

_ ' "__Your safety and happiness are more important than everything else…" '_

_ '…__there was one thing they could still not address: Sam's newly-developed, submissive codependency…'_

_ '__Samuel Morgan finally felt himself become a normal human again. Become himself again…'_

_ ' "__My name is Julia…" '_

_ ' "__If I ever see you touch MY boyfriend again, I'm gonna tear you apart bit by bit…" '_

_ '__Sam just grinned happily and kissed the man's full, pink lips a little more firmly…'_

_ ' "__I love you so much" Dean breathed with a nip to Sam's chin…'_

_ '__All this because of the guy standing next to him, gazing at Sam with a wolfish leer…'_

_ '__Dean was standing in the door, his hands fisted tightly by his side, his upper body heaving with fuming breaths…'_

_ ' "I WON'T LET YOU DESTROY ME!..." '_

_ '__ "I want to know what's going on here…" '_

_ '__ "I just feel like I'm in a horror movie with a mysterious guy, who's gonna turn out to be the killer. Plus, that guy has a tendency of going from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde and back in a matter of moments. And I don't know who to expect to find beside me when I wake up…" '_

_ ' "__I'm not going to tell you why I'm so dangerous…" '_

_ '__ "I won't leave you […] you're the sweetest, kindest man I could ever get to know. […] The only person that I could truly fall in love with…" '_

_ ' __'When I was a kid, I got lost in a forest.' 'I was six.' 'I was adopted…' '…they died in an accident, just after the day I've gone missing…' 'Goodbye… Little brother…' '_

_ '__ "He left me. I need your help…" '_

_ '__A giant, ebony-black wolf was sitting in front of him…'_

_ '__Sam straightened up and sent a sad look back to the house, saying his farewell like that…'_

_ '…__Julia gained her full speed, blurring the world around them, and they sailed through the trees of the near forest, disappearing into the night…'_

_TBC_

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><p><strong>See you soon in the next chapter, where the real story starts! :D<strong>_  
><em>


	2. Chapter 1

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC.**

**Hey, guys! Here's the first chapter of the sequel. Hope you'll like it as much as you liked LUTM. I'm gonna try to keep it on the same level, if not more. :)**

**So, without further ado, let's begin: Together Under The Moonlight! Enjoy!**

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><p>Silence filled the dark and thick forest, the moonlight was shut out by the thick leaves of the foliage. Only little clearings were illuminated by the silver beams like slivers of hope in an impossible situation. A slight breeze swept through the forest, fluttering the green crowns of the trees and dancing with the blades of grass. From the darkness of the forest, Nature poured her usual sounds out, indicating the beginning of the nightlife. Animals scurried for their food or away from their carnivorous hunters.<p>

All of a sudden a black blur shot through one of the clearings, the silver beams glinting on silky fur. A harsh bark flitted across the tree-trunks and the occupants of the forest recognized the sound immediately. They heard the fast trotting steps from far enough to dash from the way of the black mass. A fox yapped its welcome in time and it was returned with a happy bark of greeting just as the blur darted next to the much smaller animal.

Reaching a thicker part of the forest, where a lot of branches were sticking out, the mass slowed into a form: a big, black wolf. The animal was treading across the trunks carefully and as it caught a sliver of moonlight that was brave enough to venture under the foliage, a light-brown jacket flashed on its back. The wolf turned its head back from time to time to check on its precious traveler, who wasn't harmed, though, by the stubborn environment. As the animal reached a clearing, its traveler looked up a bit sleepily, half-lidded hazel-green eyes taking in the forest. Brown locks messily adorned the slightly pale face, a few hairs weaving through the black fur of the wolf.

Samuel Morgan had lost his track of time a while ago. He remembered the beginning of this trip, and the moon ascended upwards a bit since then, but not much. As he laid his head back onto the wolf's back, he tightened his hold on the thick fur around its neck and closed his eyes again, reveling in the softness of the hairs. His duffel bag was still secured on his back.

He couldn't believe how he'd gotten into this mess. If someone would have mentioned to him that someday he will travel on a giant wolf's back, he would've sent that individual to the nearest bookstore to make them buy the _Twilight_-series and leave him alone. But now… Everything was so sudden and unbelievable and yet, he was riding the main evidence that the whole thing had happened to him. And the strange thing is that he _wanted_ to believe it. Mostly because he knew now what Dean wanted to tell him if Sam could have earned his trust in time.

Feeling the grey aura of sadness gathering around the young man, the wolf whined pitifully to break him out of his thoughts. Sam nuzzled the black hairs reassuring the animal that he was alright and carefully petted its neck. All this time the wolf hadn't stopped.

As Sam started dozing off they came out of the forest to a clearing that had quite a few wooden houses built on it. Sam was surprised to see a little village in the middle of a forest, but then he saw that the forest ended just where they came from. The wolf stopped at a larger, two-storied brick house and carefully lay down. Sam sat up and climbed down the wolf, shifting the strap of his duffel bag a little bit. As the wolf trudged through the open door of the house, Sam looked around the village.

The brick house stood in the middle, surrounded by little wooden houses, most of them single-storied. It looked like the brick house was the main residence, perhaps the mayor of this place? Sam felt a smile bloom on his face as he heard the crickets giving their usual symphony, comforting the young man's slightly frazzled nerves. The grass was green, the air was fresh… everything was absolutely perfect. Except…

As the thought came to his mind the world sharply spun around him and he felt gravitation pull his body downwards. However, before he could hit the hard ground, two strong arms encircled him to protect him from the fall. He felt his body being lifted up into a tall man's arms – _'Taller than Dean'_ he thought, but it made him moan from a spike of an approaching headache – and he was moving through the air.

When his mind cleared from the haze that assaulted him, Sam was sitting on the edge of a bed, his whole body shaking vehemently, sweat pouring down his skin, damping his clothes. Familiar forest-green eyes were gazing at him and he could just make out Julia's frightened face. He felt unbearable hotness engulf him, causing his breathing to pick up to the speed of panting.

"Sam?" came Julia's urgent but caring voice. "You need to tell me where's Dean. Come on, sweetie, work with me!"

"Lev…" Sam tried to answer, but his mouth felt so stuffy and his tongue was so thick he could barely move it. "L… L-Lefd…"

"He left you?" Julia asked quickly and Sam nodded, or more like swayed forward as a yes. "Why did he leave you, Sam? Come on, tell me!"

"B… B-B-Bwozer…" he slurred heavily, trying to catch his breath through the hotness that pressed onto his lungs. "Me… B-Brozer…" he raised his voice with a dry, painful swallow.

"Because you're brothers?" Julia translated incredulously then shook her head. "I always knew he fell onto his head one too many times" she muttered angrily then pulled Sam's head gently down to hers. "Listen to me!" she said, gazing into the glassy eyes. "I'm going to bring Dean back to you. I'm going to do everything, so he will be here with you again. But I need you to hold on for me and don't let your life go! I know you can do it. If not for me, then for Dean. He will be back with you soon, I promise!"

Sam at that felt some of the suffocating hotness dissipate, but it was still hard to breath. After that he saw Julia turn away and talk to someone next to her, but his ears started buzzing and he couldn't hear what was said. Soon the same man wrapped his arms around him and guided his shaking body onto the mattress. The last thing he saw was a black wolf darting out of the house, before his sight was pulled under a thick whitish haze.

He felt a blanket being laid on him and he started fighting against it and the extra warmth it brought.

"Nnnn…" he moaned, but then two big hands held his wrists down gently, until he settled. Sam barely registered the blanket this time. His last moan was a protest against the coldness that wetly attacked his face, but then his mind was flowing away with the river of darkness.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, good start? I hope so! You know the rule: 2(!) reviews to get the story going! It only seems fair.<strong>

**See you soon!**_  
><em>


	3. Chapter 2

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. A few bad words, but hey! They're allowed to! :D**_  
><em>

**Hey, guys! Hope this chapter will give you some explanation for the happenings and Sam's sickness. And I must say: Julia is PISSED. Don't say I didn't warn you!**

**So, without further ado, here's the new chapter! Enjoy!**

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><p><em>She needs to hurry… She can feel the poor boy's struggle…<em>

_She told him to take good care of him… How could he do that? He surely wasn't thinking…_

_She stops… That scent… She recognizes it anywhere…_

_**He's close…**_

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><p>Bryan was a bit confused. In the middle of the night his cousin had just dashed in as a wolf, turned back to human and said she needed help. The moment he'd stepped out of the door, he had jumped down the front stairs to barely catch a young man from hitting the ground hard. He'd instantly known what was going on and hurried inside to lay the young man down on his bed in his room upstairs, since the boy was just one or two inches shorter than himself.<p>

After Julia had stormed away, seemingly understanding what the young man, she said his name is Sam, slurred to her, Bryan carefully tended to the sick boy. Judging by the height of Sam's fever, the boy had been alone for a few days, unable to care for the bond between him and his future mate. He would never wish this kind of torment for anyone, not even for his enemies. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he combed his fingers through his dark-brown, slightly curly hair worriedly, his light-blue eyes pinned to the sick young man under the heavy blanket.

Sam was on his side, his back against the door of the room. He was laying still, his fever-ridden, glazed hazel eyes were staring forwards without seeing anything. He gasped in his breaths, just to let them out slowly. Bryan got the wet cloth and the bowl with cold water and began to cool the hot skin. As he brushed the cloth over the boy's body, he noticed how limp Sam was. That was never a good sign.

When he finished and sat back on the bed, his heartbeat quickened from fear: he wasn't hearing the boy's gasps.

"Sam?" he whispered, shaking the boy's shoulder gently. He didn't get a response, but he saw the slight movement of the chest. Bryan let out a sigh and prayed for Julia to hurry up. If Sam's mate is not coming back soon, Sam will not make it.

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><p>The forest was quiet, only the sound of the crickets giving it some life. The sky was clear from clouds; the moon was shining its beams down on every living soul. It was a perfect time for star-gazing.<p>

That's what Dr. Angela Ward thought, when she'd arrived there with her telescope. Without any hesitation, she ventured into the herd of trees, searching for the perfect place to have a great view of the evening sky. Just as some silver light broke through the darkness of the forest, indicating a clearing nearby, she caught a glimpse of a dark figure from between two tree-trunks. When she crept closer, she never could have imagined the sight she was going to be greeted with.

She placed the telescope onto the ground slowly and soundlessly, and peeked out from behind a trunk. She found the dark figure lying on the ground, and realized it was a _huge_ dark figure. And it wasn't actually dark, just the shadows made it look like that. The huge figure was an animal of some sort, maybe a bear?

Before she could contemplate her experience further, loud trudging steps broke into the clearing, signing another animal coming this way. Soon a huge black mass appeared and slowed down in the middle of the clearing, stopping behind the lying animal, which looked that way.

_Wolves,_ she thought with a muted gasp. These were the wolves from the forest! She saw some from the village nearby, but never this close. She quickly broke herself out of her stupor and observed the scene before her further.

The new wolf's fur was the darkest black that she's ever seen and the other one's was a lighter color, perhaps yellow… The black wolf suddenly started growling, its tone angry and the height was constantly changing like… it was _talking_ to the other one. The light-colored wolf just let out a huff and laid its head back on its front legs. The black one raised its growls, and was actually snarling by now. Angela was almost feeling the rage pouring from the shaking body. When the light wolf didn't acknowledge the other, the black jumped at it with a snarl and enclosed its teeth around the scruff of the light one's neck. The light one yelped from surprise and pain as the black one started yanking him to the way the black came.

The black one suddenly let the other go, which fell onto the ground with a loud thud. The black barked and snarled at the light one, which just whimpered pitifully. At one particularly nasty snarl the light wolf snapped its head up – Angela could see the terror in its emerald green eyes. After that it jumped up and ran away in full speed, its body turning into a hazy mass from the speed. The black one followed it growling under its breath. Angela stood there for a few minutes, giving some time for her brain to register what she'd just seen. The scene was really scary, yet she found no fear in herself, just wonder, curiosity and a little excitement. She would really like to meet these wolves again.

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><p>Bryan was sitting in the armchair in his room, guarding the young man in his bed. His fingers were tapping on the arm impatiently; he was getting closer to panic with every second that ticked by. Sam wasn't responding to anything, his fever was still rising steadily and his breathing was gradually slowing down. He couldn't do anything about it, though. The only hope of survival was if Julia found the mate like yesterday. He's gonna have some talk with that idiotic sonova-<p>

His thoughts were interrupted with a sharp hiss from the bed. Bryan instantly jumped up from his seat and rushed to the young man's side. He almost crumbled to the floor at what he saw from relief.

Sam's eyes were closed, but he was shaking wildly, his teeth chattering with the trembles. Sweat slowly dripped down his forehead and the pale cheeks flushed from fever. Bryan sat beside him and took the wet cloth from the bowl on the floor to cool the boy down. When Sam whimpered from the coldness, a shiver running through him, Bryan shushed him with a smile.

After a long while, Sam's shivers decreased so did his fever. At the same time, Bryan heard a howl from outside then the door slammed open downstairs. After a few barks and yelps, Julia's voice boomed at the bottom of the stairs:

"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING, YOU MORON?"

"Let me up, Julia! I want to see him!" shouted another voice, deep and slightly gruff. Bryan quietly slapped a hand over his eyes: of course it would be _him!_

"Oh, no, not yet!" Julia cried out and a sharp thud resounded downstairs. Bryan hoped the two will not break anything.

"Dammit, Julia! I don't care about your speech right now!"

"YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Julia screamed. "JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUS REASONS THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY SENSE!"

"HE WAS MY BROTHER!" the other one screamed back outraged now.

"DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AGAINST ME!" Bryan heard a whimper from beside him and saw that Sam was semi-awake and looking at him confused. When he just caressed the chestnut-brown locks with a smile, Sam shyly buried his head in his pillow.

"**I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT!**" the other exploded, causing Sam to start crying and shut his ears with his hands. Bryan jumped up and raced out of the room and down the stairs.

"Would the two of you be so kind and shut up for a second?" he cried out just loud enough to get the fighting pair's attention, but low enough to not distress Sam further. "The poor boy is crying his heart out because he has to listen to your screams!" he scolded them. Julia looked away in shame and the man, Dean, turned his head away to hide his gathering tears. "So if you can't discuss this without a shouting match" Bryan continued, "find an audience somewhere else!"

"Can I see him?" Dean asked softly, raising his pleading eyes to Bryan.

"Maybe you should put some clothes on" the man said with a smirk. Dean glared at him playfully, but followed him upstairs to get some underwear, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Julia was already dressed in sweatpants and a shirt, so she waited for them at the door.

"We're not finished!" she warned Dean coldly when he came out of the bathroom, her forest-green eyes narrowed.

"You can chew me out after I saw him" Dean replied with a nod and walked with Bryan to the man's bedroom. As the door opened, Dean felt his throat closing up from the sight.

Sam was lying on the bed, sleeping already. He was pale and a bit skinny, the only color being the flushed cheeks from the retreating fever, his greasy locks sticking to his sweaty skin. The dark-brown leather collar was decorating the sight. Dean saw how much toll his absence took on the beautiful boy and he was feeling much worse now. Julia was right and he will bear everything that the girl will say to him later.

Dean slowly walked closer to the boy, his heart aching from the obvious suffering Sam had to go through, but oddly he felt peace envelope him as he reached the bed. The bond between them flared up a bit again as Dean sat down and caressed the damp cheek with the tip of his finger. Sam let out a big sigh of relief, indicating that he felt the same thing even in his sleep. Dean slowly laid down onto the bed beside him and just watched over him, not even daring to pull the broken body into his arms, fearing that he would wake up on the clearing again, to where he sent himself into exile.

He knew he wouldn't be let off the hook, not just by Julia, but Sam, too. But he will gladly bear their rightful wrath, just to see the love of his life again, even if it was the last time.

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><p>Sam slowly wandered out of the darkness, his senses signing other presences. He heard soft voices behind him and felt a hand resting on his shoulders. But what sent him to the brink of tears was the familiar scent that surrounded him. <em>He's here!<em>

Keeping himself calm, he listened in on the hushed conversation.

"I just can't understand why you did this to him" he heard Julia's soft, kind, but slightly angry voice. And than _that_ voice, that deep, gruff, loveable voice answered:

"I felt like I had to. He's my brother."

"But not by blood" Julia's voice was exasperated, like she had already said this a few times. "You were adopted, so what stepped in your way of loving him?"

"I still love him" Dean protested softly. "But I know better than anyone else that family usually doesn't mean by blood."

"I don't follow."

"You can't. Not until you have to go through this. I had a loving family, a kind mother, a respectable father and a little brother, who looked up to me. When I changed and had to leave them behind, the next day came the news that they died in a car accident. I thought that even that sweet little boy was a victim of it. So, when I found out who Sam's real parents were, I panicked."

"But why?" Julia asked, unknowingly echoing Sam's inward question.

"Because I kept thinking Sam will put it all together and leaves me because of it. Because I was the only kid he ever loved as a sibling."

"I still don't understand it" Julia sighed. "You were adopted. Sam would've realized that…"

"That doesn't matter" Dean interrupted. "He _loved_ me like a big brother. And to find out that you fell in love with the closest person you knew as big brother… I was sure it would freak him out. The first thing that goes through his mind is that he's in love with his _brother!_ And that big brother kidnapped him and forced him into obedience. I was scared that he was going to hate me because of that."

"But Sam was just two years old…" Julia tried, but Dean cut her off again:

"That kind of love he had for me back then is not that easily forgettable."

"Alright, I think I somewhat get it now, even if I disagree with you" Julia sighed. "But you could've at least thought about the consequences of leaving him. He almost died because of your absence! And because you hadn't talked this through."

Sam felt the hand lift up from his shoulder. Before a whimper could have escaped from him from the loss of contact, the fingers combed through his hair then the palm lay onto the tresses.

"You knew that he is the One" Julia said, stressing the word 'One'. "You knew what will happen to him if you leave him without a good enough reason. And also, he was in love with you, brother or not. His heart was shattered into pieces, because he missed your touch, your presence, everything. He almost strangled himself with the collar."

Sam was surprised: how did Julia know that?

"How do you know that?" Dean asked confused.

"The red streak haven't disappeared completely yet." Sam felt Dean's fingers brushing his locks away from his neck and tried to suppress a shiver from the touch.

"I thought" Dean started softly, "that he's gonna forget me and get on with his life."

"Bonds don't work that way" Julia explained. "It needs to be tended to until the mates complete it. If a dominant ignores the submissive, the submissive will feel worthless of their mate. Their body just starts to give up life, because the submissive thinks they can't be loved anymore and they can't live with that thought. First, they get depressed, trying for the last time to call their mates back, then they try to find something that was the mate's possession or gift to them to have some contact. Then the body turns against itself as a punishment for not being worthy of the dominant's attention. Fever, dizziness, unresponsiveness then death…" Julia's voice choked and her small hand caressed Sam's arm as a comfort for her, but it was soothing the boy, too. Now he understood what was happening to him. Which means… he was Dean's mate! Dean's hand traveled down to Sam's neck to search for the boy's pulse. Sam was shocked that his pulse was still steady after all this.

"I was just scared he was going to leave me" Dean whispered tearfully. "I didn't want to go through that again."

"I understand" Julia answered softly. "But this wasn't a good solution to avoid the disappointment. I told you before that if he finds out, he will understand."

"Well, it wasn't hard for him to find out" Dean commented with a smile in his voice. Julia chuckled quietly at that.

"He really enjoyed the ride" she said. "Fell asleep halfway, though. He was really cute."

"You tell me" Dean breathed as he caressed the boy's slightly pale cheek. "I owe Bryan a huge thanks for taking such good care of him tonight."

"I'm sure it was a pleasure for him" Julia answered softly. A hazy memory came to the front of Sam's mind: a huge brown-haired guy with impossibly light, blue eyes had been sitting next to him, stroking his hair with a kind smile. Then painfully loud voices had reached Sam's ears and the brunette had disappeared. He must have been Bryan.

With that Sam fell asleep again, still exhausted from the sickness and registering what he heard now.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, how was it? The next chapter will be the reunion, I can promise you that, but I still need to write it.<strong>

**See you soon!**


	4. Chapter 3

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Bad words.**

**So, everyone, here is the reunion. Sam's feelings are hurt by Dean's absence, hence the warning for bad words.**

**And I'll only say this: the story is rated M for a reason. :D**

**Hope you'll like it! Enjoy!**

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><p>The melody of the early birds filled the room, when Sam woke up again. Opening his eyes he saw the sun's beams light up the bedroom, falling on his blanket-covered form. He slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. When he finally looked around, he was alone. Maybe he was dreaming the whole conversation? Or his feverish mind made up the imagination? But before he could wallow in despair, the bedroom door opened revealing a very familiar form.<p>

Dean stepped in and closed the door. When he turned towards the bed, he jumped from surprise to see Sam awake then gulped from fear that visibly crept into his emerald eyes. He was wearing jeans and a plain white T-shirt, his hair was damp like he just came from the shower. Sam slowly stood up from the bed and went around it. He noticed his jacket, shirt and collar on the back of a chair and his shoes and socks under that, so he was left in his jeans and T-shirt, too. When he was one step away from Dean, he stopped and watched the man.

Dean just looked at him in wonder and fear, but then took a deep breath and spoke up in a whisper:

"Hey, Sam."

SLAP!

Dean's head shot to the right from the force of the hit. Sam was taking loud, deep breaths to keep himself calm, just staring at the red print of his hand on the man's left cheek. Dean stayed still, waiting for the explosion he so rightfully deserved.

"You went away" Sam started in a shaky, but calm voice. "You left me alone, made me lose the only person that I loved in my entire life…"

"Please…" Dean breathed looking up, but Sam wasn't finished.

"AND" Sam stressed infuriated, "all you can say now is 'Hey, Sam'?"

Dean remained silent, not wanting to anger the boy further. Now he somewhat understood what Sam felt when he attacked Sam that afternoon.

"You left me" Sam raised his voice, "and your only reason is that you're my brother, adopted at that? What the fuck were you thinking? I almost killed myself because YOU LEFT ME!" With that shout, Sam slapped the man again on the same spot, causing Dean to raise a hand to his sore cheek for a moment.

"I thought you were gonna hate me" Dean murmured dejectedly. "I didn't want you to leave me like that…"

"_Leave you?_" Sam hissed in rage. "I said that I won't ever leave you! And I didn't, not even after you attacked me! Not even when I got my sight back! And you still couldn't trust me to stay by your side? I trusted you with my feelings, I EVEN GAVE UP FOR YOU TO SEE MY OWN FATHER!" Sam screamed and his hand flew up to hit the man again, but Dean quickly caught his wrist. "Let me go, you sonovabitch!" Sam snarled as he started to struggle against Dean, who just swiftly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "Let me GO!"

"Shhh" Dean shushed the boy as he tucked Sam's head into his shoulder and held the squirming body tightly. Sam's fisted hands landed hard on his chest, causing surprisingly strong pain shoot up from those spots to his brain, but he didn't even wince. As he started rocking the enraged boy, Sam slowly calmed down and began sobbing harshly.

"Y-You lef-ft me-e" the boy stuttered out between uncontrollable gasps.

"And I'm never ever gonna forgive myself for doing that to you" Dean whispered into Sam's ear. "And I'll understand if you don't, either."

Long minutes later, Sam's sobs decreased in strength, turning into small hiccups and hitched inhales. He raised his head to look at the handsome face he saw so long ago. The handprint on the left cheek was almost blood-red against the pale cheek. When he brushed a thumb on the sensitive skin, a tiny furrow of pain appeared between Dean's eyebrows. The man tenderly wiped the tears from Sam's face, but new ones fell from the long-awaited kindness and touch. Dean pulled the boy's head down, his forehead nuzzling the other's temple. Sam's fingers on the man's chest traveled up and buried themselves into the blond spikes. Finally, Sam leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean's fuller ones.

"Sam, wait!" Dean breathed when the boy pulled away. Sam looked at him, scared from rejection. "Are you sure?" Dean asked worriedly. Sam's answer was another kiss and a caress of his tongue on the man's lips. Dean obediently opened his mouth to invite the soft flesh in and Sam accepted it, curling his fingers tightly in the blond hair. When the man just let him do what he wanted, Sam pulled away.

"Please…" he begged breathlessly. "Just like before… Please…"

Dean looked into those beautiful hazel pools of love and felt confidence engulf him. When Sam slipped his hands under the man's T-shirt, Dean ripped the fabric off then tugged at Sam's, who hastily did the same. The feel of skin on skin was like the shot of a starting pistol.

Dean's arms twined around Sam like vines, while Sam's arms snaked around Dean's neck, pulling the man into a hard kiss. Dean turned them to the right and one of his hands slipped onto the boy's backside. Sam instantly jumped up and wrapped his legs around the man's waist, who than rushed forward and wedged him against the wall. All the while their tongues were working furiously on the other's mouth. Sam gripped Dean's shoulder tightly, digging his nails into the soft skin and hard muscle, while Dean weaved his fingers through the boy's brown locks, fisting them hard to control the kiss. Sam whined out a begging at that and dragged his nails down the man's back, leaving five red streaks behind. Dean growled in pleasure at the roughness of the boy's passion and thrust his tongue into the warmth of Sam's mouth, caressing the roof of it slowly and teasingly. His attempt proved to be successful: another set of streaks joined the others on his back.

Dean finally pulled away from the kiss and carefully slid them down to the floor, Sam's back still against the wall. The man shifted forwards, so his kneecaps touched the wall and Sam could sit in his lap comfortably. Their arms were still weaved around each other and they were panting harshly. Dean buried his head in Sam's neck, basking in the scent the boy's sweaty skin emanated from itself, while Sam slowly nuzzled the damp, blond hair.

"Sammy" Dean breathed in a low voice. The reaction he got was shocking to say the least: Sam let out a loud needy whimper and thrust his hips upwards the slightest bit. That got a cheeky smirk creeping onto Dean's face.

"_Sammy_" he repeated in a huskier voice. Sam's begging grew in volume and his hips almost shot up from their place. Dean lifted his head up to look at the boy's face.

Sam's eyes were shut from the pleasure he felt coursing through his veins and body. His thin lips were parted, gasping out fast, breathy moans and his brows were a bit furrowed in anticipation. Dean felt himself joining in the ecstasy of the boy just from the sight.

"You know, _Sammy_" Dean started in that husky voice, causing Sam to whine out loud and slide closer in search of friction. "I always loved this about you."

"W-Wha…" Sam gasped, but a rush of shiver cut off his words.

"When you're angry" Dean continued, nosing the sensitive skin on Sam's neck, just below his ear, "you get all hot and fiery to push me away, to punish me like that." Sam whimpered and moved again as Dean's hand slid forward, caressing the boy's side. The man's elbow brushed a hard length lightly, causing Sam to squirm. "But when your rage dissipates" Dean licked lightly the skin under Sam's ear with the tip of his tongue. The boy drew out a loud moan at the almost unnoticeable touch. "You just want my touch, want me to caress you, ending the punishment this way." Dean stroked Sam's stomach and side with his fingertips, causing the sensitive muscles to jump and spasm from the slightly ticklish, mostly teasingly pleasant touch. "And when I do it" Dean breathed even more huskily and Sam's panting moans quickened as his adrenaline climbed the mountain of pleasure fast, "all you say and sign to me is 'More, more, _more!_' And I can drag this out so much that in the end you will scream my name" Dean blew lightly on the skin under Sam's ear and let his fingers slip down on Sam's stomach, careful not to touch the boy's pride in any way. Sam let out a much louder moan from frustration and the flood of feelings that the man provided by his teasing. Finally, Dean leaned his head closer and whispered:

"Just like this."

His teeth enclosed around the boy's sensitive spot on his neck, not enough to break the skin, but hard enough for Sam to _feel_ it.

"DEEEAN!" Sam screamed as the bite pushed him over the peek of the mountain he was steadily climbing all this time. He felt hotness engulf the front of his jeans and dribble down his length. His body went limp from the speed of the fall and his head tilted to the side, letting Dean nuzzle his neck and his submissive nature to come forward. Dean embraced him and pulled him closer; just the warm body was enough to follow Sam into the fall. As he calmed down, he realized that Sam was still locked in his limp body.

"Come on, Sammy!" he breathed softly. "Come back to me!"

Sam shuddered and raised himself into a sitting position with the man's help. When he looked at Dean and saw the slight worry in his eyes, he started sniffing and gasping. Dean pulled him into a comforting hug, letting the boy to cry out his hormones on his shoulder.

"Don't leave me… Don't ever…" Sam pleaded softly. Dean tightened his hold on the broken boy.

"I won't. I promise."

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><p>Sam emerged from the shower upstairs. He was still in a little awe that he got Dean back. And what a way he got him back… Sam felt a shy smile pull on the edges of his mouth and a blush darken his cheeks. One look at the mirror confirmed this. He gently dried himself with a soft towel, mindful about his still hyper-sensitive skin. He dug into his duffel bag for fresh clothes and dressing up he finally stepped out of the room.<p>

Dean was waiting for him in the hallway, one shoulder leaning against the wall, his arms and ankles crossed and a smirk on his face. His emerald eyes leered at him wolfishly, but this look was alluring, not like that asshole back in the store… Sam blushed again and walked to the stairs to go downstairs. Dean followed him, but the moment the boy reached the bottom, he spun him around and kissed him gently. Sam answered instantly to those deliciously full lips and when his own mouth fired up from passion, Sam felt his back hit the wall.

"Deean!" Sam whined pulling away, but Dean just started kissing his neck. "I don't want to shower again so soon!" A giggle escaped him at the light lick on his neck.

Out of the blue a loud cough broke their moment, causing them to swiftly break apart. In the living room stood a tall, brown-haired man, his light-blue eyes filled with amusement. Sam hazily recognized him.

"And I don't want to loose my breakfast before even having it" Bryan commented with a smirk. Sam blushed furiously but Dean just rolled his eyes.

"Like you don't slobber all over your girlfriend in front of everyone" the man retorted smugly and pressed a firm kiss on Sam's lips before pulling the boy away from the wall. As they walked closer, Sam noticed that Bryan was a couple of inches taller than himself and felt some fear creep into his heart at that. His hand hastily searched for Dean's, who looked at him worriedly, but the boy couldn't look away from the stranger.

"It's okay, Sammy" Dean wrapped an arm around Sam, caressing away the trembles in the boy's body. "Bryan wouldn't hurt you. He's just a big puppy. And he would have to go through me to get you" he added with a half-hearted, sharp glare to Bryan. Bryan held his hands up unthreateningly and with an understanding smile then stepped in front of the pair. One look at Dean got him a nod and Bryan slowly embraced the frightened boy before him. Sam slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around the taller man, but his memory quickly supplied the data for the guy. Bryan was the brunette, who took care of him when he was sick!

Sam felt tears gather in his eyes at the close-call with Death, and tightened his hold on Bryan a little.

"Thank you" he breathed shakily.

"You're welcome" Bryan whispered back without hesitation. Sam couldn't hold back the soft sob that managed to escape from him, Bryan, though, was quick to shush him. When they pulled back, Sam hastily wiped his tears away and leaned into Dean's waiting arms. Dean pressed a kiss onto his cheek to comfort him.

The moment was interrupted by a sharp gasp and a small form leaping into Sam's arms. The boy caught the person out of reflex, who hugged him tightly with a relieved giggle. When Sam finally looked down, he saw Julia's black hair and forest-green eyes decorating the porcelain face.

"I'm so happy you're okay" Julia said with a huge smile. Sam lifted the girl up in a hug with a laugh and spun her around, making Julia laugh out loud. Dean and Bryan just watched the two with fond smiles on their faces.

"So" Julia spoke up, "who wants breakfast?"

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So how did I do? This is the first time I wrote something like this, so can you tell me if it's alright?<strong>

**Oh, and the URL of Bryan will be in my profile shortly. It's probably up by the time you read this.**

**Read and Review, please, to keep the story going! See you soon!  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 4

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC.**

**Hey, I wanted to put this up yesterday but I wanted to do it at the same time as updating Jade. But now it's up and that's what's important.**

**School's begun for me, so my updates will be less frequent, but I'll try to do it as much as I can.  
><strong>

**Hope you'll like this chapter! Enjoy!**

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><p>The crescent moon lit up the village with its silvery light, the peacefully dark forest behind the small houses giving the view a delightful impression. In the middle, on the porch of the only brick house Sam was sitting, completely engrossed in the beauty of this land that would have been impossible to imitate even in a master's painting. A light breeze caressed his cheeks and locks that were blissfully bathing in the glow of the evening sky's queen.<p>

The day went by rather uneventfully. He and Dean spent some time together after breakfast then at lunch Sam was introduced to Julia's brother, Caleb. Caleb was just a few inches taller than Julia and they were quite opposites, but the black hair and the pale skin gave away their relation. Caleb had light green eyes, though, like the fresh leaves on the trees in the early Spring. His face was squared, his slightly protruding cheekbones gave him a hard and quite intimidating look, but when Sam started to chat with him, it turned out that the man was a nice, polite and easy-going guy with whom everyone can have a good time.

"Here."

Sam startled out of his thoughts and snapped his head around to the source of the voice. His eyes met with a glass of orange juice in front of him that was held in the air by long fingers. Sam took it with a muttered 'Thanks' and sipped at the drink with a light blush. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Dean sitting down next to him on the top step of the front stairs. The man had a beer bottle in his other hand that was half full. Sam took another sip of the juice then lowered it onto his knees and cradled it in both hands. His feet were resting on a lower step, just comfortable for a sitting position, but his knees were pulled up high enough to have some feeling of safety.

"What is it?" Dean asked softly as he watched the scenery before him, taking one sip from the bottle. Sam glanced at him then away.

"Nothing" he mumbled timidly.

"What is it?" Dean repeated in the same tone. Sam didn't answer for a few moments then uttered out:

"I'm fine."

"What is it?" this time Dean turned fully towards him and his tone was total seriousness. Sam turned his head away to compose himself then glanced at Dean again before averting his eyes again.

"How do you know?" Sam asked, huffing out a sad laugh.

"You're shaking" Dean replied a bit worriedly. Sam looked at his hand, which was trembling visibly, then he fisted it tightly to try and stop it before returning his member to cradle the glass.

"Is it normal?" the question was so quiet that Dean would have had to strain to hear it, if it wasn't for his extreme senses.

"What?" he asked and waited patiently for Sam to say what he wanted.

"To…" Sam blushed again, "crave… your touch?" Dean's eyes widened in understanding. He instantly wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulder, who just shivered then leaned into him a bit. Dean pressed a soft kiss onto Sam's temple in comfort.

"How can you still want me?" Dean whispered and Sam looked at him questioningly. "After what I did to you? How come you hadn't left me?"

"I can't" Sam choked from the thought of being without Dean. The man kissed his forehead to calm him down. "Just can't… Love you too much…"

"I love you, too, Sammy" Dean answered immediately. Sam's slowly tensing body relaxed at hearing that.

"And besides" Sam continued a bit more firmly, "there's no way to leave you without hurting both of us.

"You can, without the whole submissive thing" Dean murmured.

"I heard it" Sam looked into Dean's eyes that filled with surprise. "I woke up, when you talked about it with Julia."

"At least I don't have to explain that" the man joked with a weak smile. Sam huffed out a laugh, as well. "If the submissive wants to leave the dominant, there's no punishment for the submissive. The dominant can go find someone else, but if their soul mate leaves them, they can go crazy with the thought of loosing their other half. But the submissive can live further as if nothing has happened." Sam felt the tightening of the hand on his shoulder.

"I won't leave you" he whispered and pressed a kiss onto the full lips. Dean replied gently, just enjoying the reassurance in the firm pressure of Sam's lips. When they pulled away, Sam smiled lovingly at Dean and straightened out. He took a sip of the orange juice, his hands no longer trembling. They sat their silently for a while, Dean's arm sliding down onto the boy's waist.

"Show me!" Sam spoke up suddenly after he placed the glass onto the porch. Dean looked at him a bit distracted.

"Show you what?"

"You" Sam replied, knowing well that the man will understand him. Dean's eyes widened again then, to Sam's shock, blushed deep red.

"Um…" Dean cleared his throat. "I don't want to scare you…"

"I saw Julia as a wolf" Sam said. "I saw how big she was. I was scared a bit then, but now I know what to expect."

"Well, if Julia scared you a bit" Dean replied, "then you would be afraid of me. And if you saw Bryan, you would be downright terrified."

"I won't be afraid of you" Sam assured firmly. "Because I will know that the wolf will be you. I didn't know the big, black wolf was Julia at first." Dean still seemed reluctant, so Sam turned to his last choice. "Please?"

When Dean turned towards him, he was assaulted with the boy's puppy-dog pout. He felt his resolve crumble down into powder and be blown away by the light breeze that ruffled up those beautiful chestnut-brown locks.

"Oh, fine" Dean sighed, slapping his hand over his eyes. "Put that away!" Sam laughed at the man's reaction and kissed him on the cheek. Dean stood up and walked a few steps forward to have place for the transformation.

"You…" he turned back hesitantly, "want to go inside until I change?"

"Why?" Sam asked confused. Dean looked at him then pulled his T-shirt off. Sam felt his face, ears, neck and even his _chest_ heat up from embarrassment but shook his head. Dean nodded then turned his back on the boy as he shed the rest of his clothes. Sam's mind froze when he saw more tan skin come out of hiding, but he quickly snapped his gaze up from the man's backside to the blonde hair and strong, muscled back and… _'Sam, get yourself together!'_ he chastised himself inwardly. He was awed, though, by the silver moonlight that rained on Dean like a waterfall, caressing the man's body tenderly.

Suddenly Dean took a deep breath and Sam's jaw dropped from the sight that greeted him: as the man's chest rose with the inhale, Dean's whole body began growing, his limbs elongating, claws appearing on his fingers and toes, his spine shifting under the skin as it changed. But what was more intriguing was the change of Dean's face: his face started growing longer, fangs peeking out of his mouth; his blond hair was growing out steadily, covering first the face then the torso and finally the limbs. As the hair got to the appropriate length, Dean started falling forwards, landing on all fours. Dean shook his head and two ears appeared on the top from under the thick fur then the tail grew out from his backbone. With that he straightened out and turned towards Sam.

Sam couldn't help but be awed by the wolf in front of him. The huge body was covered with long, beautiful, sandy-blond fur, the tail and the top of the animal's head was ruffled up slightly, like Dean's hair, when he spiked it up. On the still handsome face, above the muzzle sat that brilliant pair of emerald orbs that Sam loved the most in Dean's look.

The wolf started walking towards the awestruck boy, slowly advancing on the human. As the animal came closer, Sam had to tilt his head back to keep eye-contact. And he was sitting on the porch! Sam gulped a bit nervously as the animal stopped in front of him. The boy suddenly broke out of his stupor and blinked a couple of times.

"Wow…" he breathed, his mind still trying to reload, starting with the basics. The wolf's eyes glinted strangely and it took a step forwards, forcing Sam to lean away instinctively. The wolf continued forward until Sam was leaning on his elbows to stay upright. Emeralds drilled into hazel, just inches away from each other then the wolf leaned in…

… and landed a long, slobbery lick on Sam's cheek.

"Ugh! Dean!" Sam yelped, as he was ripped out of his awe in a rude way, but he couldn't stop a laugh to escape from him. He quickly wiped the drool away as the wolf stepped back, letting out soft whimpers and shaking lightly. Sam would have sworn it was laughing at him! "Yuck! Stop laughing!"

The edges of Dean's mouth slid up in a wolf-like grin, which was suspiciously a satisfied smirk. Sam looked up at Dean, his face going serious. He reached his hand out and buried it into the thick fur around the wolf's neck: it was soft and silky to the touch, just the slightest of roughness that represented Dean's strong character. Dean closed his eyes and let out a pleasing growl, as Sam's fingers threaded through his fur, his tail thumping on the ground.

"Aw" Sam cooed with a cheeky grin, "you're so cute!"

Dean sputtered then snapped his gaze onto Sam. Seeing the glint in the boy's eyes, he raised his head high and puffed out his chest in a fashion of 'I'm awesome, not cute!'

"Yes, you're cute!" Sam cooed again. "Such a wittle cutie!"

Dean stomped his paw and sent a playful glare towards Sam, which turned into his own style of puppy pout.

"And you want to prove your point how?" Sam teased. "Or you're just proving mine?"

Dean narrowed his eyes then with a sudden idea, he began advancing on the boy, meanwhile hanging his tongue out. Sam leaned back again nervously, not liking the look in those emeralds. Then the boy saw the slow, fat drop of saliva wander down the long, pink tongue, obeying to the pull of gravitation.

"Dean! Stop!" Sam spoke hastily, trying to get away from the threat, but Dean just followed him. "Dean, don't you dare…" Just as the drop reached the tip of Dean's tongue, a soft female voice interrupted them:

"Dean!" the wolf immediately slurped the drop back into his mouth and jumped back, sitting on the ground obediently. Sam shuddered from the thought of being so close to… another shudder helped him to forget it. Julia stepped next to him with a motherly smile on her face. Sam watched the change in the wolf at the appearance of the girl.

"Someone had to knock some sense into him" Julia answered the unasked question as an explanation. Sam snickered at that then turned to the wolf. Dean's head was lowered and he whined softly at being chided; Sam instantly felt pity for him and beckoned him closer. Dean sidled up to him, seemingly ashamed by his acts, but the boy just wrapped his arms around the animal's neck and burrowed his face into the fur with a smile. He felt Dean's head rest onto his and contentment filled his heart at the gesture.

"Hey, Sam" Julia spoke. The boy looked at her a bit sleepily. "Why don't you retire with Dean for the night? I'm sure you're still worn out from yesterday."

Sam nodded with a yawn and walked into the house, waiting for Dean to join him. Moments later the man wrapped an arm around his waist and together they ascended the stairs, Sam leaning his head tiredly onto Dean's.

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><p>"Is it painful?"<p>

The question came out of the blue in an upstairs bedroom. Dean had been awake for a few minutes, having a feeling that Sam will rouse from his sleep and ask some questions.

"The very first time it's painful, because your body is just getting used to the change" he explained. "But after that it's quite liberating. Like your inner wolf is just anxious to be let out from the cage to run around in the big yard."

Sam chuckled at the metaphor, his mind working lazily on the words.

"How did you become one?" came the long awaited question. Dean took a deep breath.

"When I was six, I went to a camp in the summer" the man started. "Mom, Dad and even you came to say goodbye on the day of the departure. You were pouting all the way to the bus then burst out crying when the time came to leaving." Dean's voice choked at the memory of the usually happy, but that day completely heart-broken little boy. Sam pressed a kiss onto his cheek and stroked a hand down Dean's chest soothingly, before nestling into the man's side to give him strength. "That was the last time I saw all of you together." Dean tightened his grip on Sam's waist, shedding his tears into the boy's locks.

"On the third night the team went to a trip into the nearby forest" Dean continued with another deep breath. "I was at the end of the line and I broke off of the group, just a little bit. They were still in sight, when someone grabbed me from behind and ran away with me into the trees. I screamed and I heard the other kids crying out and a few adults, too. But in a few minutes we were too far away for them to find me. When we stopped in the middle of a forest, a wolf stepped to me. Before I could escape, it bit me" Dean shifted a bit to pull the collar of his T-shirt down. As Sam looked closer, there was a long slightly oval-shaped scar on the man's shoulder, barely visible because of the tan. He'd never even noticed it before. Sam pressed a soft kiss onto the scar to comfort his love and felt a shiver under his lips.

"My scream couldn't have been louder" Dean whispered sadly. "The wolf disappeared and I could get away from the scene. I wandered through the forest until I found a shack to get through the pain. Sometime during that, I was found and brought here into this house. When I regained my senses and consciousness, a young lady stood at the side of my bed. I was scared, because she was a stranger and I was still traumatized by the wolf, but she was gentle with me and helped me through the whole procedure. At first I thought she was twenty-two years old."

"Who?" Sam asked curiously.

"Julia" Dean looked at Sam and caught the shock on the boy's face. "But actually she was over fifty. And now she's halfway through the seventies.' Dean chuckled at Sam's slack jaw and round eyes. He found it pretty adorable on the boy. "And this was my exact reaction to that fact back then." At that Sam snapped out of his shock then just shook his head.

"I remember now" Sam muttered suddenly after he settled back into Dean's side. "When Mom and Dad told me you weren't coming home anymore, I didn't want to believe it. And before I could register the fact that you were gone…" Sam sniffed at the hazy memory, but the emotions were still crystal-clear for him.

"But I'm here now" Dean stated firmly. "I'm gonna protect you like back then and I'm gonna love you even more."

"Don't leave me again" Sam whispered, his hold tight on the man.

"I won't" Dean returned the gesture the same way. "I promise."

They fell asleep cocooned in each other's arms, the Moon soothing their distress with her silvery touch.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, how did you like it?<strong>

**For some reason when I write animals in my stories, those scenes turn out to be quite adorable. At least for me... What do you think?**

**I'm sorry for the Angst after some humor, but it was time to finally reveal what exactly happened to Dean and how he met Julia.**

**Check out the URL for Caleb in my profile! And the poll as well! It will be up for a couple of days, so everyone can consider it and vote if you want. Thanks!**

**See you soon!**


	6. Chapter 5

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Brief mentions of MPREG.**

**Hey, guys! Finally I have some time for myself. It's the WEEKEND! YAY!**

**I have a new laptop (thank God!)! I can finally write my stories more comfortably and easily.**

**Oh, poll was closed a while ago, (sorry that the announcement is so late) and you chose that you would like me to upload the slave!fic. I will do it, I just need to find a suitable title for it. I'm still not confident with the choices that came to my head. :(**

**And finally, this is a small filler chapter, because there's a possibility mentioned in here for the future storyline.**

**Alright, have fun, and I'll try to give you some more soon!**

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><p>When Sam woke up the next morning, he was confused. He could have sworn that his head had been resting on a pillow. But now he felt a harder surface pressing into the back of his neck. As he tried to make out what was going on, he realized that his head was constantly lifted up then lowered down. Finally he opened his eyes.<p>

Hazy vision greeted him, decorated with the beams of the sun. He blinked a couple times and the sight improved slightly: he was in the bedroom he'd gone to sleep. But where was Dean? He couldn't feel the familiar warmth beside him.

"Sam?" came a soft voice from beside him. Sam turned towards it and Julia sat down onto the edge of the bed.

"Julia…" he croaked out and the girl quickly fetched him a glass of water. "What's going on?" he asked after drinking, his voice smoother now.

"Your fever spiked up in the middle of the night" Julia explained in a hushed voice. "Your bond with Dean was finally restored into the basic state until completion." Sam swallowed at the word, but Julia caressed his locks comfortingly. "You finally saw Dean's other side, so the bond is more stable from now on. You got pretty restless because of the fever and since you saw the wolf just before that, I convinced Dean to volunteer for the job of your living pillow" the girl finished with a smile. Sam turned his head towards his 'pillow' and sure enough, his cheek was caressed by sandy-blond fur.

Dean was still sleeping, his head resting on his front legs. Sam's head was lying on the wolf's chest; the boy could hear the heartbeat and feel the movements. Sam carefully turned onto his side and curled against the animal with a small smile. He buried his fingers into the soft fur, causing a pleasing groan to slip out of Dean in his sleep. Julia tucked the boy in and pressed a motherly kiss onto his head.

"Get some rest!" she whispered, stroking the boy's cheek. "You still need it." With that she left the two to sleep peacefully.

A few hours later emerald eyes opened slowly to the sunlight falling through the open window. The curtain was floating in the breeze that flew into the room. Dean stretched his front legs out and a big yawn escaped him. Remembering the night he quickly turned his head towards Sam, who was still sleeping like a baby, curled up into the wolf's side. Dean quietly sniffed at the boy then scenting nothing wrong with him, he licked Sam's cheek lightly. The boy smiled sweetly and nuzzled the wolf's fur with a sigh.

After a few minutes of watching his angel, Dean carefully slid out from under Sam, who groaned sulkily but hugged the appearing pillow. Dean trudged to the closet and changing back he quickly dressed up. As soon as he finished he was back at Sam's side, worried that his absence harmed him somehow. Sitting down he stroked the boy's back and arm. Sam turned onto his back with a sigh, still sleeping undisturbed. Seeing the tiny drops of sweat on the boy's temple, Dean pulled the blanket off of Sam.

He observed the sight in front of him attentively. Sam was wearing grey sweatpants and a white T-shirt, which slid up slightly from the boy's movement. The chestnut-brown locks were a bit ruffled, but the handsome face was stress and wrinkle-free. Dean caressed the slightly reddened cheek with his knuckles, smiling adoringly at the beauty.

His mate… Sam was his _mate!_ Dean felt nervousness creep into his mind, so he took a deep breath to calm down. He has to talk about things with Sam, like their bond, the completion, their relationship altogether and… Dean's thoughts halted so suddenly that he was scared his brain would fall out of his head. He's never even thought about _that!_

Dean turned his mind back to Sam, who was completely unaware of the man's troubles. Well, if the wolf-thing hadn't freaked the boy out, this problem would do just that. How could he even bring that up to Sam? Dean then decided to speak to Julia about this.

As he looked his mate over, his eyes couldn't help but stop at Sam's stomach, where the T-shirt rode up slightly. Laying a hand on it lightly, not to disturb the boy's dreams, he smiled involuntarily at the image his mind conjured up. The man began caressing the soft skin with his fingertips, mindful about the tickling feeling. Dean surprisingly loved and adored the possibility of having kids with Sam. He could perfectly picture a life growing in the boy's belly, stretching the skin to a slight bump then to a big tummy. He would like to experience the first kicks behind the softened flesh and hear the quick heartbeat.

But that wasn't his decision to make. He needs to find out what Sam would think about this prospect. He has to speak with the boy, so Sam can consider it and hopefully agree to it.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So can you, guys.<strong>

**Don't be shy to give me your opinion, this is a possibility. But I'm kinda leaning towards it, because Sammy would be cute with a tummy. :D What do you think?**

**Okay, see you soon!**


	7. Chapter 6

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Mushy fluffiness ahead (mostly :)).**

**Hey, guys! Hope you'll like this chapter, I have some confidence issues with it.**

**I'm seriously leaning towards MPreg, I'm maybe an inch away from it. Someone wants to shove me? :D**

**YAY! SEASON 7! -screams on top of her lungs, while dances happily- It was SO AWESOME! And Sammy... Ah, LOVED IT! SADISM RULEZ!**

**...  
><strong>

**Alright, enjoy the chapter!**

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><p>A soft groan flitted around the bedroom, as Sam woke up from his peaceful sleep. He felt the change under his head immediately, so he looked up to find his living pillow. The thought made him snicker, but a glimpse of red beside him cut it off.<p>

It was a beautiful rose resting on the nightstand. The head was big and full-blown, just like in a perfect picture. Sam slowly sat up and carefully picked the flower up, mindful about the thorns still decorating the stalk. He took a whiff of the sweet odor the rose was emitting, and caressed the silky petals immaculately arranged together by nature. A dreamy smile and a light blush sneaked onto his face as he leaned back onto the headboard of the bed. His eyes stared into nothingness, as his mind reveled in the sweetness of this act.

As he looked at the rose again, he caught a glint in the sunlight. A leather bracelet was wrapped around the stalk, and he quickly unwound it to take a closer look. When he lifted it up, he found the source of the glint: a medallion! It had two stones in it in the shape of water drops; one was a lighter-jade stone and the other… Sam's jaw dropped. The other was an emerald! Just like Dean's eyes!

Sam grinned happily and quickly put the bracelet on, bouncing on the mattress giddily. He couldn't believe Dean had given him such a treasure! It must have been expensive. The latter thought made his mood plummet down instantly. He was really happy about the gift, but what had he done to deserve it? How is he ever going to pay this back? He couldn't accept this…

Sam lifted the rose up and took another whiff from its sweet scent to erase his thoughts about the issue. He's going to talk about this with Dean. But for now he's going to just enjoy the attention he was receiving by the gifts.

He put the rose back onto the nightstand and stood up to dress. He stretched out to chase away the stiffness of sleep from his muscles. Just as he finished with a sigh, two strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him back into a hard chest. Sam obeyed to the pull, immediately recognizing Dean, and when the man rested his head on the boy's shoulder, Sam leaned his head onto Dean's, closing his eyes and relaxing completely.

"Thanks for the rose!" he whispered. "It's beautiful."

"Just like you" Dean answered, causing Sam to huff out a laugh.

"You're such a mushball!" the boy chuckled and stroked the hands resting on his hips. The pair stayed like that, just enjoying the scenery outside, as the creatures of daylight went on their usual daily routines. Sam was listening to a bird's opera, when he noticed something strange. One of Dean's hands had wandered up a little bit from his waist and was now constantly stroking his lower abdomen. When he looked up, he saw those emerald irises gazing slightly sideways. Following that path, Sam found himself face to face with his reflection. Dean was intently staring at him in the full-length mirror, more exactly at his stomach. Those full lips were pulled into a shy smile as the man rocked them left and right.

"What's on your mind?" Sam asked softly, startling Dean a bit. Widened eyes looked into hazel ones in the mirror, only one word in them: 'Busted!' Dean then turned away from the mirror to look out the window again.

"It's nothing" he murmured embarrassed. Sam caressed Dean's cheek to make him look at him.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked hesitantly. Dean nodded the moment he finished that sentence.

"Dunno how" Dean mumbled uncertainly. "Have to figure it out… But I will tell you, promise…"

"Is it about the bond?" Sam asked curiously, but still a bit worriedly.

"Mostly, yeah" Dean replied, but then he pressed the softest kiss on Sam's lips that the boy ever got from him, hell, from anyone! Sam melted into the man's arms, barely remembering to respond to the kiss. When Dean pulled back, the boy's eyes were glazed over, a bit tipsy from the tenderness.

"I love you" Dean breathed, kissing the boy's cheek.

"Love you, too" Sam slurred with a blush. They remained in their position for a few more minutes, just basking in each others' presence.

* * *

><p>Sam walked down the stairs after dressing up, looking for Dean, who had already come down. As he reached the bottom, soft voices caught his ears coming from the kitchen. Sam crept closer to listen in.<p>

"I don't know" Dean spoke, anguish in his voice. "Dammit, this is gonna freak him out, Julie!"

"It would freak out anyone, honey" Julia answered in her motherly tone. Sam had to smile at that. "But you need to talk to Sam about this. You can't keep it a secret."

"I know and I will" Dean said tiredly. "We need to talk about all of this. That's why I came to you. I need your help."

"Yeah, not being a man of words requires a woman" Julia chuckled. Sam could tell when Dean's pout came into view: the girl broke into soft giggles. "Alright, sorry" she said calming down. "First, you have to talk about your relationship. You can't just jump on him and exclaim: 'I want a family.' That would scare him away." What? A family? Sam was leaning against the wall with his jaw dropped. Dean wants a family? He quickly returned to the conversation in the kitchen. "… and you have to prepare him for it when the time comes. But for now, just talk about your relationship and the bond between you two, and if it comes up, the completion! You need to be patient. That's the key." Sam swore inwardly. He missed a part of the discussion. Hopefully, Dean'll fill him in.

"Okay, thanks, Julie" Dean spoke gratefully. Sam then decided to join the pair: he stepped into the kitchen.

"Hey, morning" he spoke nervously.

"More like afternoon" Julia chuckled, causing Sam to blush from embarrassment. "Okay, guys" the girl stood up. "I have some other things to attend to so… I'll leave you be." With that she left the room, sending a smile back over her shoulder. Sam startled when Dean appeared next to him, but the man just embraced him and pressed a kiss onto his lips.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked worriedly.

"N-Nothing" Sam answered, swallowing nervously. He just couldn't suppress the thought of Dean wanting a family so soon. "I'm okay."

"Sam" Dean turned serious. "We need to talk." Sam looked at him fearfully. He can't do this. He just can't… As Dean opened his mouth, the boy quickly pulled away.

"I can't do it, it's too soon, I'm sorry…" Sam rushed out in panic, staggering backwards. "You can't make me do it…"

"Sam" Dean's voice cut off the boy's rant. "What are you…? Oh…" Sam felt helpless tears pool in his eyes at the soft, sad tone, just waiting to roll down his cheeks. "What did you hear?" the man asked still softly. Now the tears did roll down Sam's cheeks and the boy began sobbing from fear of disappointing Dean. He was frozen in place from panic and shock, his fingers buried into his locks, searching for something solid, since he felt like his world has been turned upside down.

Drowning in his terror, he jumped when a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into Dean's chest. Sam broke down into harsh sobs, feeling the greatest gentleness in that gesture he has ever received.

"Shhh, calm down, Sammy" Dean whispered into the boy's ear.

"Sorry, 'm sorry, so sorry, please, 'm sorry" Sam cried repeatedly, his hands fisting Dean's T-shirt.

"Shhh, I'm not mad. Calm down, beautiful!" Dean got scared from the boy's reaction. What had Sam heard that caused him to go into complete panic? "It's okay, love, just tell me what's wrong!" Sam quieted down and lifted his head up to look at Dean.

"Y-You said" he started with hitching breaths, "th-that you wa-ant a famil-ly w-with me… But it's t-too s-soon…" Sam's words were cut off by full lips pressing down on his. Dean kissed the boy softly, but with a slight desperation in the background. If Sam reacted to the family thing this way, he would be much worse with the option he was thinking about all day.

"It's okay, Sammy" he whispered after pulling away, letting their foreheads touch. "That's what I wanted to talk about." Taking a deep breath, he gazed into terrified hazel eyes. "Yes, I want a family. And I would be the happiest person in the world, if I could have it with you. But that doesn't mean I want it right now. There's still a long way for that to happen. I don't even know what's your opinion of our bond, or if you want it to be completed."

"I want to be with you" Sam exclaimed firmly, despite the shaking of his voice and body. "I love you. You're so perfect and so sweet to me that no matter what, I want to be with you. It's just…" Sam sniffed then hid his face back into the crook of Dean's neck. "I just never thought about going that serious. I just need some time…"

"I have all the time in the world, beautiful" Dean breathed, pressing a soft kiss onto the brown locks. "Don't you worry about that!"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later the day found the pair sitting on the couch in the living room. Sam was breathing deeply, trying to calm down from his panic. He felt ashamed by the scene he'd made earlier. He'd just gotten terrified at the thought of settling down. But Dean had been sympathetic about it, and that made him feel much more of an ass than before. Speaking of Dean, the man was seated next to him, his body turned towards Sam and his hands comfortingly held the boy's. Emerald eyes gazed at Sam, waiting patiently for him to get himself together.<p>

"I'm sorry" Sam breathed shamefully. "I overreacted…"

"It's alright, beautiful" Dean assured him with a smile. "I expected it in some way. But we really need to talk about us."

Sam nodded firmly and took a deep breath to finish composing himself.

"First" he spoke softly, "I wanted to tell you that… you don't have to indulge me with expensive gifts. I don't want you to spend your money on me."

"You deserve it…" Dean started but Sam cut him off:

"I wouldn't feel so good about it. Since I don't have anything to give you."

"Yes, you do" Dean replied with a little disbelief. Sam looked at the man confused. "The fact that you love me and that you want to be with me is the greatest gift I can get from you." Sam smiled shyly, feeling a dark blush creep onto his cheeks then he kissed the man lovingly on the lips.

"Anyone told you you're mushy?" Sam asked teasingly, just before Dean kissed him again.

"Love tends to do that to people" the man retorted in the same tone. He kissed Sam again, who chuckled at his response, then deepened it slowly. Sam slid closer and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, while Dean held him tightly in his embrace. After a few seconds they separated with a soft smack and Sam cupped his lover's cheek, pressing a last kiss onto the full lips.

"I didn't buy the bracelet" Dean added casually, causing Sam to lean away further to look at the man.

"Tell me you didn't steal it" he pleaded nervously. Dean chuckled at his expression; it was like a confused and anxious little puppy.

"I didn't steal it" he repeated obediently. Sam let out the breath he held back unknowingly. "It was Mom's gift to me" Dean continued, getting lost in the memories of Mary Winchester. Sam smiled at the thought of his mother and lifted his hand up to observe the jewelry. "She bought it when we found out what eye-color you inherited. When she came home, she immediately gave it to me, so I could feel the connection with the whole family. That's why I'm still using her name, and for a few months I'd used her maiden name, as well."

"So you're a Winchester?" Sam asked softly, getting a nod for a response.

"You look just like her, you know?" the statement made the boy glance up in surprise. "Except your hair and eyes. Those are Dad's." Sam smiled at the thought of his parents. It felt good to get to know them somehow. "Even your smile is Mom's. Just as bright and beautiful." Sam kissed Dean appreciatively and smiled widely at the love in those green pools.

"Dad told me" Sam spoke quietly, "that Mom and Dad were lucky to have you as their kid, because no one could tell that you were adopted." The surprise was evident on Dean's face, which saddened the boy a bit. "You're just like John except your hair and maybe your eyes from Mary. And we were as stubborn as the whole Winchester family" Sam added with a laugh, which was accompanied by Dean's.

"What I meant to say" Dean continued, "is that the bracelet is ours, but I want you to wear it."

"So you say I'm the girl in the relationship" Sam concluded with a pout.

"Well, technically…" the man's teasing was stopped by Sam's playful shove and their laughs.

"What's gonna happen now?" the boy asked finally.

"I think we should stay in the 'Young Lovebirds' stage, just for a while" Dean replied seriously. "Then after you had time to think about the completion of our bond, we can prepare for it."

"What is this 'completion' exactly?" Sam questioned curiously. Dean smiled hearing that: the boy was considering it!

"It's a ritual between wolves and their human mates" he explained. "When the mate agrees to it, the pair has to prepare themselves to the event, which has to be performed under the light of the full moon. It's usually done outside, preferably on a clearing in the forest, but it's possible to arrange the event in a room. The bed has to be positioned at the window, though."

"And how is the bond completed?" Sam asked with a gulp, gazing at the floor, already knowing the answer.

"By making love" Dean answered softly, feeling the boy's nervousness. "And before it ends, I will have to bite you to start the transformation." Sam's head snapped up at Dean.

"I-I have to become…" he stuttered out in shock. Dean nodded grimly, knowing how huge this information is to digest. "A-And then?" Sam asked shakily.

"Since you're a submissive, there's a chance that your body will change to accommodate to the new 'role'. I don't know exactly how it works. It was a long time ago that a wolf had a male submissive. Maybe decades."

"Oh, God" Sam buried his face into his hands. Then his limbs slackened and fell and his eyes widened. "Oh, crap!"

"What?" Dean asked worriedly. Was this too much for the boy? "What's wrong?"

"How will I tell this to Dad?" Sam exclaimed. Dean's eyes widened, as well.

"Oh, crap!"

_TBC_

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, Bobby, the terrifying father! I'm sure he would leap for the shotgun if Dean steps into his house. I can totally picture him shooting Dean in the butt, just out of principle. For what Dean did to his boy. What do you think?<strong>

**So, how did you like this chapter? Was it too much mush? And lovey-dovey? And sickeningly cute? Shutting up now...**

**Alright, see you soon!**


	8. Chapter 7

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. And some cruelty.**

**Hey, guys! Here's the next chapter.**

**I always wanted to write a Danger Scene in a forest and now I've got the opportunity. And with Sam at that! YAY!**

**But I'm cruel to both boys here. You'll see!**

**So, enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

><p>The next day Dean took Sam near the forest. A single-storied wooden house waited for them close to the trees. Dean fished a key out of his pocket, when they reached the front door, and unlocking it, he let Sam in.<p>

Stepping in, Sam's lips were pulled up into a smile, as he looked around. They were in the living room, connected to the kitchen. It was small, but comfy, just how Sam liked it. A door to the right was open, revealing the bedroom.

"What is this place?" he asked Dean curiously.

"Well" the man blushed a bit embarrassed, "when I talked to Julia about us, she said that she always had a house for me, if I wanted to settle down. So, if you would decide that you want to be with me, I thought we could move here… But only if you want to…"

Sam was a bit taken aback by the offer, but touched that Dean trusted him with the decision.

"I need to think about it" he answered softly.

"Of course" Dean nodded hastily. "I know. It's just a suggestion. Whenever you're ready…" Sam silenced the man with a kiss, when he started babbling.

"It's very sweet of you" he breathed, causing Dean to smile and kiss the boy. Their little moment was interrupted by Sam's phone ringing. They jumped away from each other surprised then Sam quickly got his phone out. "Hello?"

"Hey, Sam" came a man's voice. "It's George."

"George, hey" Sam greeted the man with a smile. He watched Dean walking to the kitchen area and look through the cupboards curiously. "Why did you call?"

"I hoped I could reach you" George answered. "She's ready. Good as new."

"Really? Awesome!" Sam grinned happily. "Dad told me he gave her to you. Was it much work?"

"Oh, no. Piece of cake."

"Of course" Sam laughed. Dean looked at him questioningly. "Hey, I can't go get her now, but I'll ask someone who can bring her to me. Could you wait for him?"

"Sure, Sam" George replied. "I'll be here."

"'Kay, bye" Sam said then hung up.

"Who was it?" Dean asked, wrapping his arms around Sam.

"George Davis. The only person, who's allowed to fix my baby" the boy answered, putting away his phone. Seeing the confused look on Dean, he elaborated. "My car, the Impala. She's my baby. I take good care of her, since she's the last thing that remained from Dad."

"Wait" Dean frowned, "you mean the 1967 Chevy Impala? What your real father had?"

"Yeah" Sam nodded still smiling. However, when he looked at Dean, he met with a sour, sad gaze. "What is it?" Dean didn't answer, just leaned in and burrowed into Sam's chest, hiding his face into the crook of the boy's neck. "Come on, baby, tell me!" Sam blushed a bit, since he never really called Dean in a pet name, like the man does to him.

"I…" Dean's voice choked from emotions. "I miss him…"

"Oh, baby" Sam breathed and held the dejected man tightly, trying to comfort him. "Hey" he spoke, pulling away after a while, "why don't you go for the car and drive her back… wherever we are?" he smiled at Dean, when the man chuckled.

"We're at a little forest in Nebraska. This village is our creation for our kind. We have to live somewhere."

"Okay" Sam nodded, "so you know where we are, which means, you can find your way back with the car. You can drive, can't you?"

"Yes, I have license" Dean replied dutifully. "Don't worry, I won't harm your baby."

"I know" Sam murmured. "That's not why I was worried. Okay, I'm gonna be back at Julia's, so… we'll meet there" he said and with a kiss they left the house.

* * *

><p>Dean was walking on the streets of Sioux Falls, searching for the auto salvage. He arrived a few minutes ago, running from the forest to here in wolf form. Sam had helped him to take clothes with him, so he could dress up when he arrived, strapping it onto his back. He was wary about the people, because they were strangers to him.<p>

Finally, his eyes landed on the board:

_George Davis_

_Auto Shop and Salvage Yard_

_Sioux Falls, SD_

Dean opened the gate, the hinges screaming from rust. An older dog snatched its head up at the newcomer, but sensing nothing harmful and kind of an odd thing about the man, it tilted its head to the side for a moment then laid it back on its front legs. Dean smiled at the dog's place: it was resting on the hood of a truck that had no wheels. Walking further, he noticed a man at a newer looking car, leaning under the hood.

"Excuse me!" he shouted and started towards him. The man, probably George, peeked out then straightened up from under the hood.

"What can I help you, kid?" the man asked, scrubbing the oil and grease from his hands with a rag.

"Are you George?" Dean asked a bit timidly. The man nodded. "I'm here for the Chevrolet Impala, 1967. For Sam Morgan."

"Oh, yeah" George nodded again. "You're the friend he sent?"

"That's me."

"Alright, follow me!" the two of them walked towards the garage and George led him to the sleek, black Impala. Dean's jaw dropped from awe: the car was just like he remembered! He couldn't help but step closer and caress the roof, as waves of nostalgia wracked his mind. "Tell the kid that she works perfectly as always!" George spoke, startling Dean out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I will" he replied. "But why did she get here? Tuning?"

"In a way" George answered. "You hadn't heard?"

"No. Heard what?" Dean felt a sharp twist in his gut at the expression on the man's face.

"She was a wreck. Her front was crumpled up like an accordion. It was a strong hit. But it was nothing for me. I brought back cars from a much worse condition than she was, even from the dead."

"But what happened?" Dean asked fearfully.

"An accident" George shook his head remorsefully. "Old Bob only said that one moment his son was missing then he got a call that the boy skidded down from the road and ran into an electric post full-front. Bob almost had a heart attack that night… You okay, kid?" George asked suddenly, but he was already hurrying to Dean's side, who wavered dangerously on his feet. He escorted the young man to a rickety chair, pushed him down into it and guided his head in between the shaking legs. "Just take deep breaths, kid!" he instructed, keeping a firm hold on the back of Dean's neck. Soon the young man obeyed shakily, so George helped him straighten. "You want some water?"

"If… no trouble…" Dean gasped out, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. George hurried away to get a glass of water. Dean buried his face in his hands, the mechanic's words running through his mind over and over again.

"Here" came George's voice again next to him. Looking up, a glass of cool water was pushed into his hand. "Just take it easy, kid!" Dean cautiously sipped at the water, not wanting to provoke his body into a full-blown breakdown. "You feel better?" Dean nodded at the question, although he was far from better. Why didn't Sam tell him this? It was his fault! If he hadn't left him, the accident wouldn't have happened!

"I need to take the car back to Sam" Dean spoke a little out of breath. George looked at him worriedly, but nodded and fished the keys out of his pocket.

"Be careful, kid!" he said before giving the keys to Dean, who nodded then stood up. The young man sat behind the wheel and started the car, nodding his goodbye at the mechanic. Finally being on the road alone, he allowed a couple of tears escape from his eyes.

* * *

><p>Sam smiled when he heard the familiar roar of his baby. He jumped up when the engine died down, but before he could walk out of the house to greet Dean, the man rushed into the house. Seeing Sam, the man halted so suddenly that Sam was scared he hit an invisible wall pretty hard.<p>

"Dean, you okay?" he asked, getting concerned. Dean jumped at his voice then he stepped in front of the boy and embraced him so quickly, his movements almost blurred. The breath was squished out of Sam's lungs with a groan, but he tried to hug back. "Dean, what's wrong? You're scaring me, baby…"

Dean then pulled away and kissed him; Sam instantly felt the desperation in it, so he answered as best as he could.

"God, Sammy" Dean breathed when they separated. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know… It was my fault…"

"Dean, what is it?" Sam asked softly, but Dean didn't hear him. Suddenly the man ripped himself away from his arms and dashed out of the front door. "DEAN!" Sam shouted and took off after him. Getting outside, he saw the shreds of Dean's clothing, only the leather jacket remaining in whole. Sam caught the flash of sandy-blond fur and ran after it. Soon he broke through the line of trees and bushes.

Sam ran as quickly as he could with the lower branches in his way and the scrub in front of him. He tripped once or twice in a protruding tree root. He hadn't stopped, though, not even noticing the waning of the sunlight, as he penetrated the forest further and further.

"DEAN!" he screamed, looking for any sign of the wolf. "DEAN, WHERE ARE YOU? DEAN!"

A few seconds later he slowed down to a stop and bent forward, leaning his hands on his knees, panting harshly. Straightening up his breath caught in his throat: he was surrounded by darkness. He tried to look around, searching for any source of light that indicated a clearing or the village, but it was to no avail. Taking a deep breath, he started walking in a random way, holding his hands out to feel around. He was walking forward for a long while when at one step the ground disappeared from under his foot.

He tumbled down into a ditch, rolling fast and unstoppable. When he landed at the bottom, he cried out from pain exploding in his ankle. Panting harshly to overcome the throbbing, he heard the babble of a brook beside him. Reaching out with one hand he felt cold water gush through his fingers. Sam crawled closer, took off his shoe and sock and dipped his hurt foot into the cold water. He hissed, when the pain flared up but it was soothed away quickly.

After a few minutes of sitting there, Sam put his sock and shoe back on and slowly stood up. He remembered seeing a stream from the village and judging by the direction it was going, he needed to go in the way it was flowing to reach the village. With that decision in his mind, he began limping again, hoping for an exit from the forest and the darkness.

He was walking for quite a while, when a bad feeling occurred in him. He tried to dismiss it, but it stubbornly dug its claws into his mind, pulling on them from time to time, nagging him. He quickened his pace as much as he could, but then a growl in front of him stopped him. Squinting in the darkness, his breath was pulled from his lungs by terror.

It was a wolf, a normal wolf, not like the wolves in the village or Dean. This wolf was small and quite mangy. But what scared him the most was the eyes full of hunger. The animal was growling and snarling at him. Sam gulped hard and took a step back, his ankle flaring up again, breaking a hiss out of him. However, the wolf just got angrier and snapped at him once, before stalking closer dangerously slowly. Sam searched for an escape route and he noticed that the side of the ditch is not that steep here. With one last look he shot to the side, climbing upwards as quickly as he could. He heard the wolf snarl at him from behind.

Clambering up from the ditch, Sam got up and limped away, trying to run with his hurt ankle. A few feet away from the stream his leg buckled and Sam fell into a tree, holding onto it desperately to keep himself upright. However, before he could continue his escape, the growl of the wolf resounded again behind him, but now it was followed with several more. Sam knew then that he was surrounded.

_TBC_

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, yeah! I'm cruel.<strong>

**So, how was it?**

**The next chapter? It's gonna get pretty bloody... -Sadie cackles crazily and evilly-**

**See you soon!  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 8

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Kinda gory. Just a little bit. :)**

**I think I blame this on the new episode of Supernatural (7x02). Sam seized in there, at the end, and he was... cute... So, the idea came from there.**

**Hope you'll enjoy it! Have fun! :D**

* * *

><p>Sam gulped from fear and slowly faced the wolves behind him. All of them were dirty, but he didn't see the one he first met. All of them were growling at him, but not as crazily as the first one. Their eyes weren't glinting as hungry, either.<p>

Sam couldn't stop a helpless sob break out of him at his situation. He's going to die! He's going to be mangled by the wolves! At least he had a final kiss from his lover, even though it wasn't meant to be that.

"Please!" he breathed weakly. "God, no! Please!"

Suddenly a howl echoed through the forest. It was enough distraction for the wolves, so Sam could quickly scurry away from the scene. He heard the animals growl angrily, but he just ran and ran. He heard the trudge of the filthy paws on the ground, the snarling huffs…

Suddenly he was tackled from behind, but as he rolled from the force, the weight flew off his back. He clambered up straight and continued forward. He felt desperate tears flow from his eyes as he broke through the bushes and branches. Small whines and sobs broke out of him, praying for anyone who listened to help him get away.

Out of the blue a wolf jumped in front of him, halting the boy's escape. Sam skidded to a stop and heard the other wolves arriving behind him, slowly surrounding him again. As he looked around, all of them were crouched, ready to attack, but for some reason they just waited. Sam was desperately searching for a way out, but he was scared if he made a sudden move, the wolves would jump at him at once…

A reeking, furry body slammed into him from the side. As he was falling, Sam screamed from the white, hot pain that exploded in his right side. When he landed on the ground, a firm jaw clasped his bicep, two unruly, twisted rows of teeth digging into his flesh. Sam tried to pull his arm away from the pain, but the grip was so hard that not only his shirt, but the skin on his arm ripped slightly. He screamed again, as he felt the wolf pull on his arm, letting his blood trickle out more profusely, and the claws slashed his right side again.

Just as he wanted to give into the pain and drift away, a white blur flashed next to him and slammed into the wolf mangling him. It released him with a pained whine. Sam saw hazily that the other wolves dashed away fearfully and heard the fight of the two. Soon a howl resounded amongst the trees and then silence pressed onto his ears. He shivered from the blood trickling down his stomach and the cold that started seeping into his limbs.

Suddenly a white wolf appeared in front of him, gazing at him with wide eyes. Sam whimpered from terror; it's still not over? The wolf, however, carefully lay down and crawled closer to him with scared whines.

"V… Vill… age…?" he gasped out and the wolf nodded. "H… Help…" The wolf nodded again then jumped up and let out a loud, high-pitched howl. Sam guessed it was a younger one, since its size was normal. The wolf then lay down again and licked at his face worriedly, somehow giving him strength with that gesture.

As they waited, Sam began shivering, his teeth clattering together from the force. The little wolf jumped up again then went around him. Before Sam could panic from staying alone, he felt the silky fur caress the skin on his neck and the small weight on his head. He felt the warmth on his back, but it wasn't enough to chase the coldness away. He just prayed that someone would show up before it was too late.

All of a sudden a huge brown wolf emerged from the bushes. It was bigger than Dean! The wolf hurried closer and groaned at the little one. The white animal let out a few hasty whines and growls and the brown wolf nodded, before disappearing behind a tree. Seconds later Bryan ran to them and fell on his knees beside Sam.

"Sam, you hear me?" he asked urgently. Sam moaned in answer and tried to move his arms, but only one reacted. Bryan reassuringly grabbed and squeezed his left hand. "You're gonna be okay. Just hold on!" The man looked around then ran his fingers through his brown curls in frustration. "I need to carry you back to the village. It's not that far, but it will be painful."

"D-Do… it…" Sam forced out and with a worried glint Bryan nodded.

"Alright, ready?" he asked, as he positioned his arms under Sam's legs and head. Not waiting for answer, Bryan stood up with Sam in his arms.

Sam screamed when he was moved slightly onto his back then up in the air. His side exploded in pain and it felt like that someone had ripped his arm off with a sudden pull. His ears were ringing so loud it made him sick and something moved in his chest. He felt something drip down his cheeks then that feeling spread throughout his body. He shivered violently from the tickling.

"-ight, Sam, just hold on, you're doing good, try to stay with me, we're almost there…"

It was Bryan's voice that Sam heard, when the ringing reduced into a faint buzz. He felt the man's pulse on his forehead, which meant, his head was on the man's shoulder. Then he caught the constant whimper near him and he needed a couple of minutes to realize that _he_ was letting out these wounded sounds.

Sam opened his eyes just in time to catch the last trees of the forest breeze by them then a house went by, as well.

"Almost there, Sam, almost there" Bryan murmured to him, partially in comfort, partly to keep him awake.

Soon the scene changed to a living room and he was lowered onto a hard surface. He cried out when he was stretched out, the movement pulling on his side. After that, Julia appeared above him, caressing his cheek tenderly, her forest-green eyes swimming in tears.

"Shhh, Sammy, you'll be okay" she whispered, pressing a motherly kiss on his forehead. Then she looked up to someone. "We need to get the doctor here" a high-pitched bark was the answer; probably the white wolf.

"J… Juli…" Sam gasped out weakly. "D-De…"

"He's coming" Julia answered. "He's helping Bryan, but in a minute he'll be here. I promise."

* * *

><p>Dr. Angela Ward was in her office, sifting through the papers from today's administration. She had worked overtime and decided that she would bring home the paperwork. She didn't know yet that she'd made the best decision of her day.<p>

As she stifled a yawn, reading through the most boring report she ever came across, the front door of the house rattled forcefully. Dr. Ward stood up abruptly and hurried out of her office. The door rattled again louder.

"Who's there?" she shouted. The answer came as a high-pitched bark and some whines. She hurried to the door and flung it open: a white wolf stood on her porch. She was shocked by the sight, when the wolf whined, looking at her pleadingly, but when she didn't move, the animal bit the hem of her blouse and tried to drag her out. "Whoa, whoa, wait!" Angela snapped out of his shock. "What is it?" the wolf began growling and whining to her. "I don't understand. Are you from the village?" Angela asked urgently, sensing the importance of the situation. The wolf nodded. "Is someone sick?" A wild shake of the head. "Is someone hurt?" Another nod with a panicked whine. Angela turned around and hurried to her office. "Come and try to explain, what happened!" she ordered as she got together her equipment. The wolf waited until Angela looked at it then it scratched the floor, showed its teeth and finally it threw itself onto the floor. Before Angela could freak out, the wolf twitched and shook for a couple of seconds then rolled back to its feet. "Okay, I understood it" Angela assured the animal. "You can go back, I'll be there soon."

The white wolf dashed out of the house with a bark and Angela followed it not long after, dialing her phone.

"Ellen! Meet me at the village! It's an emergency."

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><p>Bryan returned to the living room with the medical kit, Dean at his heels with a thick blanket. They knelt down to the floor next to Sam, who was shaking pretty hard from shock. As he covered the boy, Dean felt his throat tighten from the sight of his beauty: deathly pale, bloodless skin, half-lidded hazel eyes rolled back and clothes covered with blood… Sam's blood…<p>

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, leaning closer to the boy. Dazed irises rolled towards his voice and a moan escaped from those soft lips. "It's okay, I'm here, you're gonna be okay." At Sam's whimper, he pressed a soft kiss onto the boy's mouth. In the background a phone rang and Julia spoke up:

"Dr. Ward?" Dean snapped his head to the girl. "Tell me, please, that you're on your way!"

"Yes, I am" he heard a female voice from the phone. "Gathered by the info your wolf gave me, disinfecting and stitching! Get that started until Ellen and I arrive!"

"Yes, immediately" Julia replied then hung up. "We need to disinfect his wounds first" she told Bryan, who plucked the bottle out of the first aid kit. Julia picked up the scissors and cut Sam's shirt and T-shirt off. Sam whined from pain as the clothes were removed, the drying blood pulling on the skin at the wound. Dean was mortified from the sight of Sam's torso and arm. Long claw marks sailed through the skin from the boy's chest to his stomach, deepening as the lines went on downwards. The right bicep was worse, though: it was ruby-red from the blood, the skin was almost torn from the flesh, which had puncture marks from the teeth of the wolf. Dean then noticed the strange angle of the forearm.

"Julie" he called out. The girl looked at him then followed his gaze to the boy's arm.

"I think it's broken" she murmured.

"Hold him down!" Bryan ordered. Julia gripped the shoulders, while Dean grabbed the boy's free hand. Sam seemed to wake up, having a feeling what was about to happen. Bryan looked at them then tipped the bottle in his hand.

The tortured scream filled the house and leaked to the neighbors. Dean buried his face into the sweaty, chestnut-brown locks. He heard Julia let out a soft sob beside him as she held Sam's tense body down. Another scream tore out of Sam and through their hearts, as the disinfectant was poured onto his wounds, more blood flooding out.

"Alright" Bryan stopped, his heart breaking from the tortured wheezing coming from Sam. "I'm done with his chest…"

"Sam?" Dean called out suddenly. Julia and Bryan snatched their gazes to the boy, whose head snapped backwards, his muscles tensing. "Sam! Stay with me!"

"He's seizing" Julia exclaimed, just as they heard a car pull up at the house. Seconds later Dr. Ward rushed inside and with a quick assessment of the situation, she kneeled next to Sam. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a syringe, filling it with medicine. She efficiently gave the boy the injection, just before Sam's muscles could have tensed so hard that nothing would get through them. While Sam's body relaxed, thanks to the medicine, Angela tied her strawberry-blond hair up into a ponytail.

"Is Ellen here?" she asked quickly, but she got a negative response. Just then another car pulled up at the house and another woman hurried in, her long, auburn hair tousled from the hurry.

"What do you need me for?" she questioned, kneeling next to them.

"Check his vitals quickly!" Angela ordered, as she examined the wounds. The two women got to work, Julia and Bryan giving them place, but no one could pry Dean away from the boy, not that anyone tried.

"Pupil reaction, check" Ellen muttered. "Pulse rate twice as normal. Severe blood loss. Shallow breaths."

"Possibly broken ribs" Angela answered. "Broken arm. Deep claw marks. Judging by the stench, the animal had something on its claws, causing a serious infection. Bryan!" she barked. "Help me with the stitches! We need to hurry."

_TBC_

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><p><strong>Yeah, I'm cruel... As I said before, I'm not a doctor. But did you like it, anyway?<br>**

**Okay, see you soon!  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 9

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC.**

****GRAND UPDATE! :D****

**Hey, guys! I'm finally here with the new chapter. Sorry for the long wait!**

**Okay, everyone, now you can finally find out what happened to Sam since the end of the previous chapter. Hope you'll like it!**

**Dear VelvetKiller, I miss your reviews. Hope you're okay and you can return back to us! But, of course, I'm extremely happy with everyone's reviews. :D**

**Okay, guys, enjoy the chappy!**

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><p><em>Pain… Not white and hot like before… But still there… Strong…<em>

_Eyelids heavy… Just lift them up… He can do it…_

_Blurry surroundings… Light color… A ceiling… Familiar…_

_The scent… It's him… Turn the head… Slowly… Don't get dizzy…_

_Blond tresses… Emerald orbs… Gentle caress on the cheek…_

_**Dean…**_

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><p>The sun was getting up to greet the new day. The beams fell through the slightly open window, landing on the bed and a person. Dean was sleeping restlessly, sitting in a chair and his head laid on the edge of the mattress. His fingers had a firm grip on the lax left hand of the bed's occupant. A sigh indicated that he woke up, just before the light twitch in his hold…<p>

Dean shot up quickly, no sleep evident in his eyes. He noticed that Sam's eyelids began to flutter, trying hard to open up. Dean squeezed the boy's hand gently, signing that he was here. As Sam struggled, Dean couldn't help but examine his beauty's condition.

Sam's whole torso was wrapped with gauze under the heavy blanket, covering the claw marks tightly and holding the one broken rib in its place. His right arm was in a cast, which ended just under his elbow; Angela said that the break was in the boy's forearm. The bite was covered, too, and thankfully the skin could be saved, although the scar will always remain there as a memory. Dean's only hope was the completion: if he changed Sam then his scars and wounds would disappear. The twisted ankle had been iced and put right, but it was already healed. There was an IV in the free uninjured hand that Dean was holding. There was a deep cut on Sam's cheek held closed by stitches and another wound on the boy's forehead that was covered by a patch of gauze.

Just as Dean finished, he caught disoriented, unfocused hazel eyes looking at the ceiling then Sam's head turned to his way and the dazed gaze landed on the man. Dean caressed the boy's uninjured cheek with a finger and he received a breathless moan in response.

"Hey, Sammy" he whispered with a teary smile. "Rise and shine, beautiful!" his smile widened when he got a huff of breath at that and a twitch of Sam's lips. Dean pressed a very light kiss onto the boy's mouth and felt an almost undetectable pressure as a reply. He couldn't have been happier: Sam was responding to him! "Sammy" Dean spoke reluctantly. "Do you remember what… happened…?"

His question was cut off by Sam's strengthening shakes. Dean quickly reached for the bowl and held it under Sam's head. The boy jerked a few times then a small trickle of bile flowed from between his lips and into the bowl. Dean waited for Sam to finish, then grabbed a handkerchief and wiped the escaped drops away. He held the bowl in place for Sam if he needed it, but except for saliva, nothing came out of the boy again.

"You're alright now" he whispered meanwhile. "It's over. You're gonna be okay. You'll see." Then he pressed a kiss onto Sam's forehead and nuzzled the brown locks. By the time he pulled away, Sam was unconscious again.

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><p>The next time Sam woke up, he was more coherent. He slowly looked around the room, but didn't see anyone. His side and arm throbbed dully as he shifted a bit to do something against the numbness in his back. After a few minutes of steady breathing, which was painful, as well, he moved his not aching arm under him and tried to push himself up.<p>

The breath caught in his throat as the pain exploded in his side, at the same time freeing his memories from the forest. When he came to, he was on his back again and Julia was standing above him, her small hands holding him down. Her lips were moving constantly, forming words after words, but Sam couldn't make them out from the screeching in his ears and the tears in his eyes. Slowly the ringing dissipated and he could catch his breath, Julia's comforting voice floating into his mind:

"That's it, deep breaths… You should rest and stay in bed for a while…"

"Julie…" Sam croaked and the girl picked up a glass of water from the nightstand, carefully lifted Sam's head up and helped him drink. The boy sighed from the cool water washing down his parched throat. "Where's Dean?" he whispered, his voice smoother now. "I wanna see him…"

"I finally convinced him to have a shower" Julia answered softly. "He was really worried about you, wouldn't even sleep and eat. We all were worried…" Sam felt tears gather in his eyes, as a memory came back to him, Julia's tearful forest-green eyes in it. Sam never saw the girl cry before: he must have looked horrible…

"Sammy?" came a breathless voice from the door. He and Julia looked towards the source and sure enough, Dean was in the doorway, face pale, eyes wide and legs rooted to the floor. Julia took a step back to let Sam see the man.

"Dean…" Sam whimpered and reached his good arm out towards Dean.

"Oh, Sammy…" Dean whispered as he hurried to the boy, taking the outstretched hand into his. Kneeling next to the bed, he pressed a kiss onto Sam's lips, wanting to be sure that this was true, that Sam was really awake. Sam squeezed Dean's hand as he replied to the kiss, and the man deepened it. Sam felt the same desperation in the gesture, as before the wolf attack. After a few seconds Dean pulled back and gently nuzzled his forehead, watching out for the gauze there covering an injury. They never saw Julia leave the room to give them some privacy.

"De…" Sam breathed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "It was horrible… Wanted you… So scared…"

"Shhh, you're okay now" Dean hushed the terrified, panicking boy. "You're gonna be alright now. I won't ever leave you again… I'm so sorry…"

"Why?" Sam asked, a little hurt slipping into his voice.

"George told me what happened to you" Dean answered. "On the night when I left you. I just panicked and it was my fault…"

"No, it wasn't" Sam shook his head immediately. "I shouldn't have gotten in the car like that… It was my fault… I was too upset to think…" Sam realized too late what he said.

"You were upset because of me" Dean ended the discussion firmly. "There's no way out of this. It was my fault and I'm so sorry… And now you're hurt again because of me…"

"No" Sam tried to argue. "I shouldn't have run after you…" He quickly trailed off, knowing the look Dean sent him. Sam turned his head away, not wanting to watch Dean destroy himself with his guilt. Dean laid his head on Sam's shoulder and wrapped an arm around the boy's waist, asking for forgiveness wordlessly. Sam freed his hand from Dean's and wrapped his good arm around the man, burying his fingers in the blond locks lovingly. Both of them shed their own tears, not seeing the other's suffering, but unknowingly comforting each other.

* * *

><p>"Can you tell me what happened?"<p>

Sam gulped at Dean's unavoidable question. He knew he had to tell the man what happened, so Dean can help him properly, but that meant that he had to go through it again. He remembered everything, but to say the happenings out loud… He would feel everything, every pain again… So instead of answering he just shook his head slightly.

Dean sighed, his breath ruffling the brown locks. He was still kneeling next to the bed, his arm around Sam's waist and his head on the boy's chest, gazing up into the gorgeous but troubled face. He knew Sam had gone through a horrible trauma, so he left the topic alone for now, but he would bring it up soon, so the boy can start to heal mentally and emotionally.

They remained in their position for a few seconds, enjoying each other's presence, then Sam sent a pleading look towards Dean. The man seemed to understand him, because he stood up and got on the bed next to him. When Dean nestled into the mattress comfortably, Sam tried to shift closer to him. His side and arm, though, began protesting wildly against the movement and Sam let out a distressed and frustrated sob. He couldn't even enjoy the warmth of his lover properly!

Suddenly Dean's arm snaked under his back while the other hand pressed down onto his side slightly. Before Sam could ask what he was doing, the arm under him started turning him onto his side. As Sam hissed and whimpered from pain flaring up in his side, Dean pressed down harder on the hurting area and Sam's tense muscles unwound slowly.

"It's the rib" Dean explained quietly. Sam looked up at him and realized that he was already lying on his good side in the man's embrace, his hurt arm stretched out on Dean's waist. "You have one broken rib."

"Just one?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Just one. And two cracked ones, but Dr. Ward said that we don't have to worry about them. Unless you want to overexert yourself with heavy-lifting" Dean's weak joke broke a huff of laugh out of Sam.

"How long was I out?" he asked, turning serious.

"A week" Dean breathed brokenly. "Your ankle was healed before you even woke up… You had a short conscious moment, but you went back to sleep right after that." Sam nuzzled Dean's shoulder in comfort and took a deep breath to let Dean know he was still with him. They lay there silently, Dean reveling in the feeling of his awake lover and Sam deep in thought.

"It was a pack" the boy whispered. "Normal wolves. The leader looked like it was insane… It was hungry and I was the food…" Sam gulped against the nausea rising into his throat. He took deep breaths and hid his face into Dean's shoulder, who tightened his hold slightly to assure him he was there for him. "My ankle was hurt, so I was an easy prey…" Sam jerked as a violent gag broke out of him, but nothing came out.

"Shh, it's okay" Dean shushed him. "We can wait, you don't have to do this." Sam nodded as he took deep breaths to calm down. "But I want you to tell me eventually, alright?" Sam nodded again. Soon his eyes started sliding shut, even though he didn't want to sleep. It seemed Dean noticed his tiredness, because he started humming a melody. At last Sam let the pull of exhaustion overtake him and drift him away into darkness.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Sam" came a kind female voice from the doorway of the bedroom the next morning. Looking up Sam saw a woman, her shoulder-length strawberry-blond hair in a ponytail. Blue eyes observed him warmly and a bit worriedly. Sam looked at Dean confused, as the woman stepped to the bed.<p>

"Sam, this is Dr. Angela Ward" the man introduced the woman to him. "She was taking care of you."

"Oh" Sam nodded in understanding. "Nice to meet you" he turned to the doctor, holding out his good hand. Dr Ward shook it gently.

"I heard you finally woke up, so I came to check on you" Angela spoke. "And perhaps to change the bandages with Dean's help."

"Alright" Sam answered nervously. Dr. Ward leaned to Dean's ear, who frowned at the woman's whispered words. Sam just watched them curiously then Dean stood up with a nod, gave a kiss onto Sam's temple, who smiled at his lover, and walked out of the room.

"Okay, Sam" Angela turned to the boy. "Why don't we try to stand up?" Sam carefully straightened up, but the pain was still too much for him: tears rolled down his cheek. Angela got to his help, pressing down on the broken rib. She wrapped an arm around Sam's torso and started gently pulling him to the edge of the bed. Sam grabbed the woman's arm and moved his feet down onto the floor. Just as Dean returned, he was slowly straightened up into a standing position. Dean and Angela waited for the boy to catch his breath and control the pain pulsing in his side.

"You okay, Sammy?" Dean asked next to his lover. Sam opened his eyes – he didn't even notice that they were closed – and turned to Dean.

"Yeah… okay…" he panted still out of breath. Dean stepped to the boy's left, uninjured side and wrapped his arms around Sam gently to steady the shaking form. Angela made sure that the boy was okay, before she started unwrapping the bandage. After rolling it up, she gently peeled the gauze away from the injury. Sam hissed softly at the pull then he shakily turned his head to the wound.

The claw marks started on his chest, trailing downwards to his waist, just ending at his hip, above the sweatpants he wore. There were maybe six or seven lines – he couldn't make them out, because his vision was hazy from the gathering tears. One in the middle was darker than the others.

"Alright" Angela spoke softly, examining the injury. "They're almost healed, but we should leave the stitches in. They were changed not too long ago."

Sam started crying silently, as the memory of the wolf's claws flitted through his mind. Dean stroked his cheek and locks comfortingly, shushing the distressed gasps tenderly. Angela waited for the boy to compose himself as she got fresh gauze from his bag. When Sam got himself together, she cleaned the wound and began taping the gauze in place then wrapped the bandage around it, securing the broken rib with it, as well. Sam's breath hitched from the stinging and when the rib was pressed in place with a slight ache.

"You're ready?" came the doctor's voice suddenly. Sam turned to her and noticed that she was talking to him. He realized then that the worst was still waiting for him. He gulped and fisted the back of Dean's shirt, who tightened his hold on him reassuringly. Finally Sam nodded and hid his face into Dean's neck. He felt the bandage on his bicep let up its tight hold then came the pull of the gauze. "It's looking much better" Angela spoke softly to Dean. After a few seconds of deep breathing, Sam lifted his head up and looked at the wound. His stomach turned at the sight.

The skin on his arm was wrinkled with scars and ripped, only the stitches holding it in place. Here and there Sam saw soft pink spots peeking out from under the torn skin. And then the picture got together: a row of teeth ran in a half circle on his arm. Sam knew that another similar line is mirrored on the other side of his bicep. He felt his knees buckle under him as his vision wavered, swimming in haze.

"Dean! The bucket!" he heard Angela's voice through the buzz in his ears then he was pushed forward gently. He felt the contents of his stomach swirl then with a spasm he gagged and everything flowed out of his mouth with harsh coughs. A hand brushed his hair back gently, while three more held him up. Sam tried to breathe against the nausea, but the frightened gasps that managed to get in just disturbed his suffering stomach, sending him into another wave of gagging. His vision then sharpened and a disgusting smell filled his nostrils. His eyes landed on a bucket in front of him with the remains of his eaten breakfast in it. He gagged once more, shuddering from the force, but it looked like he was done.

"Alright, Sammy" he heard Dean's voice next to him. A soft textile wiped at his mouth tenderly, causing a sense of Déjà vu form in the boy: an unfamiliar motel room, his wrists tied to the arms of a chair… his first meeting with Dean… Sam was slowly straightened out then the textile was held to his nose. "Blow!" Dean ordered softly and Sam obeyed. When they were finished, the stench evaporated from Sam's nose and the cloth wiped his cheeks down, as well, getting rid of the tears.

"I'm gonna clean the wound now, Sam" Angela warned the boy. Dean wrapped his arms around his dazed lover and pressed a kiss on the brown tresses. However, when Angela began to clean the injury, Sam moaned and tensed, trying to pull his arm away from the pain.

"Nooo…" the boy moaned and began gasping in panic.

"Shhh, Sammy" Dean shushed him. "You're okay… It's almost done…"

"NO!" Sam screamed when the stinging of the peroxide returned. "HELP! NO!" the boy started struggling against them, trying to free himself.

"Sam! Calm down!" Dean cried out fearfully. Angela took a quick step back, surprised by Sam's acts. Sam let out another tortured scream then went limp in Dean's arms. The man could barely hold the boy up. "Sammy?" he breathed scared, as he tilted the boy's head up. Sam's eyes were half-closed, but he was still breathing.

"Lay him down!" Angela ordered Dean. After Sam was stretched out on the bed, the doctor returned to her task of cleaning the wound. As the alcohol dripped onto the wound, Sam's body jerked, but the boy didn't react in another way.

"What's wrong with him?" Dean asked worriedly, when Angela began wrapping the wound.

"I think he was reliving a memory" she answered. "It was too much for him, the pictures and the pain from the peroxide… His brain just shut down."

"Shut down?" Dean whispered in panic and held Sam closer to himself.

"Sorry, wrong phrasing" Angela rushed to correct her words. "He fainted, overwhelmed by the whole thing." Dean felt a relieved sigh break out of him.

"And that spasm from the alcohol?" he asked.

"Just muscle spasm, reaction to the pain" Angela answered, as she finished with her work. "We can take the stitches out of his cheek" she commented and got up to do it.

Soon she was done with the examination: the claw marks were slowly healing and closing, the wound on the boy's cheek was already closed and the scratch on the forehead almost disappeared. She was worried though, with the injury on the bicep. There was a chance that the skin will be saved, covering the flesh that was still out in the open, but the tissues can die before that can happen, causing an infection. Worst case scenario: Sam can lose his arm. However, she shook those thoughts from her mind. The injury looked much better today, so if they stayed on this path, Sam's arm would heal, with some scars left behind as a reminder.

Dean stayed by Sam's side, stroking the brown locks lovingly. He hadn't even noticed Angela's departure; he was too busy praying for Sam to wake up soon. The boy looked so peaceful, like he hadn't gone through this whole suffering. He looked like he was just sleeping next to Dean in the morning. Dean felt guilty for what happened to his beautiful and was trying to think up some way to make his mistake right. His only confidence was in the completion of the bond: if they're going to do it then the scars and injuries would heal immediately, not leaving a trace that something like this had happened. But first he had to present his idea to Sam and see what he would think about it. Until then, he will find a way to help Sam dealing with his injuries.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, how was it? I repeat: I'm not a doctor. So if there are any mistakes that REALLY bothers you, tell me, so I can rewrite it, okay? Thanks!<strong>

**I'm currently thinking about how to put Bobby into the story again, so until I figure it out, the story will probably be updated with small chapters. But who knows? I may have my kiss from the muse sooner, so you can get a longer chappy with Bobby in it! :) Wish me luck!**

**Read and Review! See you soon!**


	11. Chapter 10

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Some fluff.**

**Warning: I still won't leave Sammy alone! :D**

**Hey guys! Here's the new chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it!**

**Have a good read!**

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><p>The next time Sam woke up, the horizon was colored in orange by the rising sun. He could see the darkness receding away from the light through the window. The last thing he remembered was that woman… Dr. Ward? … examining him. Then he'd felt pain in his arm and heard the snarl of that wolf… Sam shuddered at the memory. After that he'd blacked out, luckily. Judging by the sky, he was out for a whole day.<p>

Lying still for a few minutes, he took deep breaths to calm down then he began easing himself up into a sitting position. The pain expectedly flared up in his side, but it was more bearable then the previous morning. When he finally straightened up, he noticed that his bad arm was tied up with a sling. Leaning against the headboard, he pressed down on the rib to soothe the pain. When it ebbed away, he started his task of standing up.

Turning towards the edge of the bed and lowering his feet onto the floor was relatively easy and pain-free. But when he gripped the edge of the nightstand to pull himself up, his side exploded in fire. Sam held his scream back, but a whimper escaped him. He was panting harshly through his nose to calm himself down, then continued the process. It took him a while to stand up fully: the sky was already light blue crowned by the golden sun shining into the room. Sam took a couple of minutes to get himself together, eyes closed against the throbbing pain.

Finally, he straightened out and pressing down on his rib, he started limping carefully towards the door. His eyes landed on the mirror in the room, so he shuffled there to take look at his state. He let out a partially relieved sigh at the reflection.

His right side was covered with thick gauze, bandage holding it in place wrapped tightly around his torso, from armpits to hips. His right arm was in a cast to the elbow and from there another big patch of gauze was wrapped around his bicep. He gently touched the bandage and hissed at the stinging he earned with it. He remembered the sight of that injury vividly and swallowed against the nausea rising in his throat. Apart from those injuries, he had a scar on his right cheek, beginning just under his eye and ending at the corner of his mouth. It was clearly visible, but it seemed that it will disappear completely. He noticed a faint bruise at his hairline on his forehead and guessed that he had an injury there, too.

Getting enough of observing himself, he limped out of the bedroom, his hand keeping the pressure on his rib. When he reached the stairs, he hesitated to go on, scared by the number of the steps. He tried to lift his free, injured hand up from the sling to support his balance on the wall, and he finally succeeded with quite amount of pain. Watching out for his injuries, he slowly descended the stairs. He grinned satisfied, when he reached the bottom step and the downstairs' floor, feeling giddy from success. He started shuffling towards the kitchen, hoping to find someone, hopefully Dean, in there and maybe have something to wash down his parched throat.

As he got closer, Dean's voice floated out of the room:

"I don't know… You're sure this works? …" the man sounded concerned and a bit lost. "Okay… Alright, how much? … Don't you think six is a little too much? … But… But, what if…?" Dean sighed in defeat. "Okay, I'll see what I can do… Thanks, bye…"

Sam stood there for a minute, just to process the one-sided conversation he heard. What was Dean planning to do? Did Sam have anything to do with it? Pushing those confusing questions aside, he limped into the room.

"Dean?" he spoke, his voice rough and mouth dry. Dean instantly spun around, eyes wide from surprise.

"Sammy?" he spoke worried and hurried to the boy. "Are you alright? Why aren't you in bed? Why is your arm out of the sling?" As he asked the last question, Dean carefully put Sam's injured arm back to its place. Sam tensed from the pain, but it didn't hurt as much as he expected.

"Wanted t' see you…" Sam croaked out, his words cut off by coughs. Dean quickly fetched a glass of water and helped the boy drink it. Sam swallowed the cool water down eagerly, not stopping until the glass was empty. Dean put the glass down onto the table then wrapped his arms around Sam's waist loosely. The boy leant his forehead on Dean's and nuzzled it slightly, eyes closing from pleasure and peace. He even hummed happily, feeling his lover's arms around him, which caused the man to chuckle softly.

"You're so cute" Dean whispered, pressing a kiss on the smooth skin, next to the scar on the boy's cheek. Sam answered with a shy peck on the other's lips. "How do you feel?" Dean asked, still worried.

"Much better" Sam replied quietly. Seeing Dean's look, though, he raised his voice to a firm tone. "Believe me, I'm much better than I was. Much better than how you found me…" the boy trailed off, shuddering from the memory. Dean carefully pulled him closer, just feeling the warmth of his love's body, the coldness of blood loss still too vivid in his mind.

"What do you say we have some breakfast together?" Dean asked, looking into the beautiful, lively hazel eyes. "In bed, of course."

"Only if you help me get upstairs" Sam answered with a smile, his uninjured hand stroking Dean's arm. The man pulled away slightly and turned him around to lead him to their room, but he was halted by the sudden rigidness of the boy. Turning back, Dean met with deathly pale features drawn into terror, frightened gasps reaching his ears. The hand in his hold started shaking furiously.

"Sammy?" Dean called concerned as he stepped closer, but no answer came. He followed the terrified gaze, which was pinned onto the window. At first Dean didn't understand Sam's reaction, but then his mind processed the greenery outside: the forest! Dean swore inwardly; he forgot about that! He quickly gathered Sam into his arms and guided the boy's head into the crook of his neck, the wide eyes covered by his shoulder, while he caressed the brown locks.

"It's okay, Sammy" Dean whispered, trying to calm the panicking boy. "You're safe, I'll protect you. Shhshshshh, beautiful, you're alright…" As he spoke he carefully lifted Sam into his arms and took him upstairs. He felt tears drip down his neck and Sam's good arm sneak onto his back, fisting his shirt, so he tightened his hold in reassurance. Once he got into the bedroom, he laid Sam onto the mattress and without releasing him or forcing the boy to release his hold, Dean climbed into the bed next to him. He pulled Sam into his arms more comfortably, shushing the boy's distress quietly.

After a few minutes, Sam's sobs died down and the boy pulled his head away to look up at Dean. The man's heart broke at the sight of the tearstained face, eyes reddened and slightly puffy from crying. As he wiped the tears away, he couldn't stop the chuckle at Sam's soft hiccups. In spite of the situation, Sam was really adorable like that.

"'S not f'nny" Sam mumbled with a pout, but Dean saw the small smile hiding in the corner of Sam's lips. He pressed a kiss onto them, rubbing Sam's back in comfort and to help him relax. Minutes flew by them, as they just lay on the bed and enjoyed the other's presence. But their peace was quickly disturbed by the rumble of Sam's stomach. They both laughed at that, but neither one of them wanted to move from the warm cocoon of their embrace.

"Alright" Dean spoke as he reluctantly pulled away from Sam. "I'll make us some food." Catching the sad puppy pout Sam aimed at him, Dean bent down and kissed it away, sucking in the boy's lower lip, drawing out a delicious moan by that. "Be back soon" he mumbled and left the room. Only when he reached the stairs did he really think about the discussion he had on the phone.

Sam felt a bit ashamed by his reaction of seeing the forest – he shuddered at the word – but he knew he went through a trauma, which made him feel better slightly. His only hope was that Dean will help him get through this and everything, so they could have a chance of being together – maybe forever. That thought sounded more and more appealing as Sam thought about it.

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><p>Later in the afternoon, Dean made his decision. He was watching over Sam as the boy had a nap, still exhausted from the events and the pain in his body. Sam had already had a nightmare, but Dean had quickly chased that away without waking his beauty up. He couldn't bear to watch his angel suffer like this and he felt helpless, not sure what he could do about it. That was when he remembered the discussion again from that morning. And he decided.<p>

"What's on your mind?" Dean was startled out of his thoughts by Sam's whisper. When he returned to reality, he met curious but worried hazel irises, gazing at him like they were reading his very soul.

"It's nothing" Dean avoided the answer with a smile. "Just some stuff…"

"The bond?" Sam asked. Dean was amazed how well the boy could read him and his emotions.

"Sort of" he replied, still a bit stunned. He saw the frustration in the boy's eyes, but Sam didn't say anything. "Are you thirsty?" Dean changed the subject quickly. Sam let out a sigh then with a nod he released the man. Dean got up and gave him a smile, before he left the room. Getting a glass of water in the kitchen, he composed his thoughts before taking action.

Sam was lying on the bed, his mind on Dean. The man wasn't telling him something. This conversation had gone down between them once, and Sam got the same kind of hazy response. He felt annoyance creep up on him, his 'wanting-to-know-it-all' nature kicking in, but he knew he had to trust Dean to tell him those secrets. Sam was sure the man will confess to him eventually.

"You okay?" came Dean's voice, halting his thoughts. Sam saw the man sitting next to him on the bed, a glass of water on the nightstand. Sam slowly began to push himself up and Dean instantly helped him. Before Sam could lean against the headboard, Dean slipped behind him and pulled the boy into his arms. Sam relaxed at the gesture, a smile appearing on his face as the great feeling of protection overflowed him. "Here" Dean said, holding the glass in front of him. Sam thanked him with a smile and drank all of the water with one breath. Dean took the glass away and on the nightstand, but Sam noticed the shaking of the fingers and the tightening hold around him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, but he got no answer, just a calming kiss on the back of his neck. They sat there for a few minutes, Dean rocking Sam slowly, who enjoyed the tenderness silently, his limbs relaxed.

Suddenly the temperature in the room began climbing, rising steadily from warm to hot. Sam felt drops of sweat dribbling down his temples, as his vision began swimming, eyelids feeling heavy. The soft thrumming of his heart rose in volume until it was pounding on his eardrums. He felt his muscles twitching stronger and stronger, sending his body into convulsions. He started gasping, but with every intake of breath, his heartbeat doubled. It felt like hours have passed, before his eyes finally rolled back and he was swallowed by darkness. All the while the arms wrapped around his torso remained in their places, their hold tight, and the rough cheek brushed against his own.

* * *

><p>Dean tensed when he felt the change in the relaxed body in his embrace. Sam's breaths became a little erratic and drops of sweat appeared on the boy's face. Then the boy began trembling, his pulse quick and slightly unsteady at Dean's ear. The man heard it perfectly since he laid his head on Sam's shoulder. The hands lying on his arms started shaking so hard as if the boy was electrocuted. The erratic breathing turned into almost hyperventilating, and the boy's heart pounded faster and faster. Dean's only hope about the whole thing was Sam's silence, which was a good sign so far.<p>

Soon Sam started convulsing, his body hitting against Dean's chest, his head knocking against the man's shoulder. Dean noticed as he turned slightly towards Sam, that the hazel eyes were rolled back but weren't closed.

"Come on, Sammy" Dean breathed, his gaze not leaving the stubborn eyelids. "Don't fight it! Just let yourself go!" After terribly long seconds, Sam's body went limp, his whole weight pressing down on Dean's chest. Dean let himself breathe easier; Sam wasn't screaming from any pain, he fell unconscious without a sound. Dean knew then, despite the slow heartbeat and almost unnoticeable rise and fall of the boy's chest, that the whole process went down perfectly. Sam will be okay after a good restful sleep.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, how did you like it? Don't worry, everything will be explained soon!<strong>

**Read and Review! See you soon!**


	12. Chapter 11

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Sadie decided to rule my land of Imagination.**

**Hey, guys! I'm SO sorry for the LOOOOONG wait! I had a really hard time to write this chapter. But the waiting paid off, because it turned out pretty good. And the extra length is my apology for keeping you waiting. I'm sorry once again!**

**And someone's back! I'm sure you know who it is by now. :)**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

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><p>The soft sounds of nature floated into the bedroom with a gentle breeze, fluttering the curtains in the window. But for Sam those quiet noises were like sandpapers scrubbing his eardrums. His head was pounding so hard like someone was beating the inside of his skull with a sledgehammer. It was worse than his hangover after New Year's Eve, which was saying something, since he spent his whole day in front of the toilet with Jessica by his side, comforting him and cooling him down with a washcloth.<p>

Finally Sam opened his eyes and squinted in the light of the sun. He didn't know what time it was, but he had enough of these blackouts. He slowly pushed himself up with his good arm and leaned against the headboard, scrubbing his hand down his face. He tried to remember what happened.

He and Dean were lying in bed… Sam woke up from a nap, Dean next to him… The man wasn't here now. Sam asked about Dean's troubles, hoping he could help, but he got that annoying, hazy response… Dean brought him some water… Then he felt feverish and blacked out…

Sam felt rage course through his body, as every memory returned from his last awake period. How could he do this to him? The bastard… He felt tears of betrayal slide down his cheeks. He wanted to wait… Sam quickly jumped up onto his feet and started towards the door, but something halted his strides: there wasn't any pain from the abrupt movement…

Sam shook his head, putting this issue to the side for later observation and continued his way out, fury filling him again. He walked to the stairs and heard the voice he was looking for:

"You sure we did the right thing?" Dean asked someone, his tone uncertain and scared. Before an answer could have come to his question, Sam rushed into the room, anger rolling off of him in waves. Dean and Julia jumped up from their seats at his arrival.

"Sam…" Dean spoke, but he was cut off:

"What did you do to me?" Sam hissed angrily, his body shaking, his chest heaving in fury.

"What…?" Dean looked confused and tried to step to the boy, but Sam staggered back from him, fresh tears gliding down on the glittering paths on his cheek. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and pulling him in: judging by the chin in front of his eyes, it was Bryan, his embrace protective.

"You drugged me!" Sam cried out, leaning into the taller man's hold, seeking for comfort.

"What?" Bryan exclaimed in disbelief. "You drugged him?"

"No, I didn't!" Dean shouted back desperately then pinned his gaze onto Sam's. "You know I would never…"

"You've already done it once!" Sam replied shakily, soft sobs breaking out of him as Bryan's arms tightened around him. The room was filled with tense silence, Dean watching his lover cowering away from him in fear. All because he tried to help the boy… He rounded on Julia with tears gathering in his eyes.

"This was your idea" he snarled. "Fix it right now!" Sam looked at the two of them confused. What does Julia have to do with this? The girl stepped forward with a guilty expression on her face.

"Sam" she spoke softly like she was talking to a wild, injured animal. "Are you in pain?" Sam frowned at that, completely lost, but shook his head. "Dean didn't drug you" Julia continued. "I swear to you. Yes, it was my idea. But we couldn't tell you about it, because you would've tensed up and it would've been much worse. Sweetie, believe me! This was for your own good."

"Then what happened?" Bryan asked, seeing as Sam was still too upset to speak.

"We couldn't watch him to suffer so much" Julia turned to Bryan, pleading with her cousin to understand. "Dean was really desperate to help him and this was the only thing that could help besides time. It wasn't a drug, just a cure to quicken the process of healing."

"What was it?" Sam uttered out, eyes falling onto Dean. The man noticed it and answered in a whisper:

"Blood… My blood…"

Sam's eyes widened comically at the three words. Dean made him drink blood? But how come the water wasn't colored from it? And how much…?

"Six… drops?" he asked unsure, remembering the overheard conversation from the previous day. Dean looked surprised but nodded. Sam leaned his head onto Bryan's shoulder as he walked through his memories with this new information attentively. Between the conversation on the phone and the action half a day went by. Which meant, Dean was considering it really hard, debating whether to do this or not. And even though it was a terrifying experience, the blood helped him with the pain: his side wasn't even hurting anymore.

"It also served greatly as a test, although it wasn't intended to be that" Julia spoke again. Sam turned his attention to her. "The reaction you got from the blood showed us that Dean was right. You're his mate" the announcement came out with a happy, bright smile from the girl. Sam felt a huge weight fall off his heart at the news. He always knew that Dean and him belong together, but to have actual confirmation… It was a very uplifting feeling.

"Don't do this to me again!" Sam choked out, feeling the craving for Dean's touch and kiss return as his rage dissipated.

"I won't" Dean whispered, his eyes mirroring the same emotions inside Sam. "Promise."

That one word was enough for the boy to break out of Bryan's embrace and leap into his lover's arms, sobs of relief breaking out of him and muffled by the strong shoulder. Dean hugged him tightly, his hold more solid and firm than ever. Sam leaned into the embrace, his limbs relaxing as his body finally had contact with the love of his life. He was pulled forwards as Dean started backing to the couch. Sitting down, the man situated Sam on his lap, the boy straddling him, head cradled in the crook of Dean's neck. The man combed his fingers through the chestnut-brown locks to give comfort, calming the distressed boy tenderly. Sam's sobs and hiccups died down soon, enjoying his lover's embrace tiredly, worn out from the scene earlier.

A soft kiss landed on the top of his head as he finally fell into a short but restful nap.

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><p>It was nighttime, the end of a very busy day. After Sam had woken up from his nap, Dr. Ward had been called out to check on her patient. After the examination, the doctor had exclaimed that Sam's broken arm was almost healed, the claw marks on his chest had sealed shut, only leaving behind long white lines on his skin and the rib had mended completely. But the best news had been about the skin on his bicep: the newer tissues had finally covered the wound, still tender and wrinkled, but the danger of losing his arm had passed, much to Sam's relief. As the doctor had taken the arm from the sling to move it around, she'd declared that the sling was not needed anymore, but Sam has to be extra careful with moving his arm around.<p>

Now the pair was in their bed, finally enjoying each other's presence without the fear of hurting Sam. They were sleeping peacefully, Dean's arm wrapped around Sam, spooning behind the boy. Wind was blowing through the leaves of the trees, howling softly as it wafted through the trunks in the forest.

Sam was woken abruptly from his dreamless sleep. Snapping his head up he looked around the room, looking for anything that disturbed him. Not finding anything he lay back down and closed his eyes again. In the middle of falling asleep, he looked up again quickly: this time he certainly heard something. He started trembling from fear, when the wind howled again in the forest. He laid his head back onto Dean's arm under his head, but this time he didn't close his eyes. He waited and waited…

There it was again: a small shuffling sound from the darker part of the room. Sam trained his gaze onto that spot, trying to see through the blackness… Was it a shape there? Was it… _moving?_

Sam's breathing picked up speed from fear, his gaze not leaving the spot where he saw movement. He tried to speak up or wake Dean because someone was in the room, but his mouth wouldn't open and no sound would come out of him, no matter how hard he tried it. The howl of the wind was stronger now, but it was different… So much more different…

He saw the movement again and the shape was bigger now… Like it was coming closer… Sam tried desperately to speak, to moan, to whimper, _something…_

Growls filled the room, reverberating from the walls, the floor, the ceiling and into Sam's ears… _They're everywhere… Coming closer…_ A snarl resounded in front of him and the shape materialized into… _mangy fur… foaming mouth… crazed eyes… full of hunger…_

_ It prowled a little closer… then crouched down… getting ready… teeth glinting in yellow… almost like a victorious smirk… He still couldn't speak… Dean, wake up… Please… It's ready… Pounces…_

_As the ugly features closed in on him, a scream tore out of his throat…_

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><p>"SAM!"<p>

When Dean had woken up, he'd been scared to death from the screams greeting him. He had been trying to wake Sam up for minutes, but the boy had been unresponsive, only screaming bloody murder and thrashing wildly, like he'd been trying to get away from something. Dean had quickly held Sam down, thankful of the sheets that had wrapped around the boy's legs. Now he had only had to hold down the flailing arms and the bucking body.

At his shout Sam's eyes snapped open, but he was still trapped in his nightmare, not letting the screams up. He still tried to get away from the hold around him, but he was too panicked to have success with his attempt.

"Sam! Calm down! You're okay!" Dean tried, to no avail. With a last desperate attempt, he clamped his hand onto Sam's mouth, muffling the screams of torture that the nightmare inflicted on the boy. Sam tried to fight, but Dean just shook him hard to stop his wriggling. Sam started sobbing and shaking in terror, but his tenseness let up, when he recognized the arms around him. He whined pleadingly into the palm holding his mouth shut, and grabbed the other hand tightly.

Dean pressed a kiss onto the boy's head and loosened his hold to turn him around and into another tight embrace. His heart broke into pieces at the mental torture his lover had to go through.

"W-W-Wolf-f" Sam sobbed out, his body convulsing from the force. Dean closed his eyes dejectedly: his lover was afraid of wolves. This felt like a dagger straight through the remains of his heart.

"Shhshshshhh, there's no wolf here" Dean shushed the distressed boy. "There's no wolf here, just you and me… You're safe, beautiful… You're okay… Just a nightmare… It was just a nightmare…"

"D-Dre-eam?" Sam uttered out with all his puppy-like confusion. Dean realized that the boy was just waking up.

"Yeah, Sammy" he answered with a soft kiss onto the brown locks. "A dream…"

"T-Tried t' ca-all you…" Sam continued. "Cou'n't speak…"

Dean felt like a medium at those words: he instantly knew what the dream meant. Sam dreamed about the wolf that attacked him and he couldn't get help from Dean… He must have been begging desperately for _someoneanyoneDean_ to help him, but no one could hear him…

"Sammy" Dean spoke up softly. "The wolf is dead." Sam's body went rigid at those words.

"Dead?" he breathed with what sounded like hope.

"Yes, Sammy. Lorie killed that beast. Right on the spot."

This time the sobs were soft and small, indicating the huge relief this information caused to Sam. Dean rocked his angel gently, showering the dear face with loving kisses, until Sam calmed down. Exhaustion pulled the boy back under the river of sleep, and both of them had an undisturbed night.

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><p>"Who's Lorie?"<p>

Dean was startled out of his reverie at Sam's quiet question. They were lying in bed the next morning, Sam still trying to get over his nightmare. He was nestled into Dean's side, the man's arms around him, his hold protective and loving.

"Oh, right" Dean exclaimed, as the light bulb went off in his head. "You haven't met her yet. She's Bryan's fiancée."

"I thought Bryan had a girlfriend" Sam mused with a frown.

"No, he has a fiancée. They haven't made plans for the wedding yet. They want to wait for the right time."

"I hope my wedding will be in spring with all the flowers and the blooming of a new life…" Sam's dreamy voice trailed off as he sank into his own fantasy. Dean looked at his lover with a knowing smile on his face. He stared at the glazed look in the boy's eyes, the light blush coloring the cheeks, which appears every time when Sam is daydreaming. Not able to contain himself anymore, he leaned forward and pressed a loving kiss onto the curved-up corner of the soft lips, breaking Sam out of his trance. The boy blushed deeper, as he realized what happened.

"Sorry" he whispered. "I got ahead of myself."

"It's okay" Dean answered, closing the subject for now. After a little thinking, he spoke up again:

"Lorie is a white wolf."

He felt Sam's body go rigid instantly, as the words left his mouth. The hold on his T-shirt tightened into a fist, bunching up the material, while a shudder ran down the boy's spine. Dean rubbed Sam's back in comfort, until the tenseness evaporated from the muscles. He then decided to distract his lover from his memories.

"I was thinking" he said, earning a curious look from Sam. "Maybe it's time for me to meet your father." His suggestion was greeted with a gasp.

"Are you saying…?" Sam breathed.

"We should take some time off, away from here" Dean continued. Sam rewarded him with a kiss.

"It would be a nice change from the fff… f-f-fo… f-f…" Dean watched Sam worriedly, as he struggled. Tears of frustration filled the boy's eyes, as he fought to get the word out. "Ffff… f-f-f… fff…"

"Shhh…" Dean stopped Sam, pulling him back into his arms. Small sobs broke out of the boy, confirming Dean's suspicion about the damage his lover mentally suffered. "It's okay… You're gonna be okay… You're not ready. That's why we should visit your Dad. It would do you a lot of good. And you can start healing…"

Sam nodded at his words, knowing that healing meant reliving his memories of the attack and facing his fears from the trauma. He let himself forget about that now, though, and concentrated on the upcoming trip back home. Although, no matter where he will go in the future, as long as Dean was with him, Sam always felt at home.

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><p>Julia and Bryan were sad that the pair wanted to leave for a while, but they helped them get ready for the trip. While Julia accompanied Sam in the packing, Dean and Bryan did their best to make the Impala as comfortable as possible. When Sam and Julia stepped out of the house with two duffel bags, the passenger seat was filled with pillows, which came in handy, since Sam's body was still sore and tired. As soon as Dean joined him behind the wheel and tucked the boy in with a soft blanket, Sam drifted away to sleep, only managing a wave towards the cousins. As the Impala's engine began purring and Dean started maneuvering the big car out of the village, his hand gripped Sam's firmly, entwining their fingers. Sam wandered away to dreamland with a smile on his face.<p>

When he woke up, they were already in Sioux Falls, the sun half above the horizon. Sam stretched out as best as he could and then straightened up. Dean lifted their joined hands up and pressed a kiss on the back of Sam's, sending a gentle smile to his lover. Sam guided Dean to his father's house. Soon the car stopped next to a white picket fence, guarding a two-storied house, walls painted in blue, the shutters of the windows white. Sam let out a pleasing sigh, happy to be back. He was really worried about his Dad, since he didn't know how the man reacted to his absence, and certainly didn't know what greeting will wait for him. Looking at Dean he was shocked by the sight in front of him.

Dean seemed to be in a stupor, as he stared at the house. He was shaking slightly, his features pale and showing visible fear. But in his emerald eyes Sam saw recognition besides the terrified glint.

"You okay?" he asked the man, who startled from his voice. Sam noticed then the tight grip on his hand, Dean's palm sweaty from nervousness.

"Yeah" Dean squeaked out, but quickly cleared his throat. However, the next attempt wasn't successful, either, so he just nodded.

"Don't be scared!" Sam tried to comfort the man quietly. "Everything's gonna be fine." He waited for Dean's nod then climbed out of the car. The man followed him and together they stepped into the yard. As they got closer to the porch, Dean's shaking grew harder and harder and when Sam knocked on the door, he heard the man gulping loudly.

A few seconds later the front door opened up, revealing an older man, blue eyes widening at the sight of his guests.

"Sam?" Bobby breathed in hope and disbelief.

"Hey, Dad" Sam smiled uncertainly, a little afraid from his father's reaction. The next moment, though, he was yanked forward and pulled into a tight hug. Sam returned it with all his might, tears rolling down his cheek at the long-awaited familiarity. "'M sorry" he whispered into his Dad's shoulder.

"I was so worried" Bobby said as he pushed his son away to look him over. Seeing the cast on the boy's arm, he froze. "What the hell happened to you?"

"An accident" Sam brushed it off quickly, but Bobby didn't miss the shudder that ran through his boy. Then his gaze landed on the other guest, recognition filling him at the man's features and blonde hair.

"Dad" Sam stepped to the side, "this is…"

"Dean?" Bobby asked in disbelief. Sam snapped his head to his father, surprised that he recognized his companion.

"Bobby" Dean nodded nervously, eyes shifting from the older man to Sam and back. But then Bobby realized something else, as he remembered a night, his son scared to death…

"You" he hissed. Sam took a cautious step towards Dean, ready to shield him from his father's wrath. He heard another loud gulp from his lover and knew that Dean was more than terrified now. "You kidnapped my son!" Bobby shouted. "Your own brother!" As he began rushing forward, fully intent to throttle the young man, who hurt his boy, Sam grabbed him quickly and held him back.

"Dad! Stop!" Sam cried out, as he struggled to keep his Dad away from Dean.

"I should fill your ass with so many bullets that you'd crap lead for a whole week!" Bobby bellowed to the cowering young man.

"Dad, enough! It's over!"

"It ain't over, until I kick his ass into next week!"

With great effort Sam pushed his father away, hissing as the movement pulled on his healing skin. Dean immediately jumped to his side to help him, but Sam just shook his head with a grateful smile.

"Get away from my boy, you bastard!" Bobby shouted angrily.

"Dad, listen, please!" Sam begged and his pleading gaze seemed to calm the older man down some. "I know what Dean did was horrible, but everything changed ever since." Bobby just stared at his son dumbfounded, his suspicion from the time, when Sam was here, confirmed.

"I need a drink" he grumbled, as he walked away to the kitchen, leaving the door open as a kind of invitation.

"I'll get our stuff up" Dean spoke, still shaken from Bobby's outrage. "Why don't you talk to your Dad?" Sam nodded and pressed a quick kiss onto his lover's lips, before following his father into the kitchen.

As Dean got their bags up to Sam's room, the voices began growing in volume in the kitchen. By the time he was sitting on the bed, waiting for Sam to join him, a screaming match occurred downstairs that anyone, even humans could've heard clearly.

"That asshole kidnapped you and hurt you" Bobby's voice shot upstairs, hurting slightly Dean's enhanced hearing, "and you want me to just accept him?"

"I love him!" Sam screamed back. "So if you want me to be happy, at least you can show some effort to be civil to him!"

"Just because a fluke made you change your opinion about him, it doesn't mean that you love him!"

"You don't understand what I'm feeling for him! You'd never understand it!"

"He's just using you for his own good! But I won't let him! You're gonna break things off with him, and that's that!"

"I HATE YOU!"

Sam's last scream was followed with deep silence, which was broken by loud thumps coming up the stairs. Dean jumped up when the door of the room was wrenched open then storming in Sam slammed the door shut so hard that the whole room shook from the force. Dean watched sadly as the boy threw himself onto his bed and began sobbing harshly into his pillow. Dean carefully climbed in behind him and pulled his distraught lover into his arms, spooning behind the shaking body. He shushed the boy into sleep, caressing the brown locks tenderly and pressing kisses onto them.

Making sure that Sam was sleeping soundly, Dean got up from the bed and snuck out of the room. He heard Bobby pacing downstairs in the kitchen, so he walked down to him, trying to mend the relationship between father and son. Bobby just poured out some whiskey into his glass, when Dean stepped in.

"What d'ya want?" Bobby grumbled, downing his drink in one gulp. Dean lowered his gaze shamefully, playing with his fingers in his anxiety.

"I wanted to apologize" he spoke up finally in a soft voice. "I didn't mean to screw with you two. I didn't mean to make you argue. Guess I'm only good for messing up other people's lives."

Bobby observed the young man in front of him. He still remembered the young boy, all happy and bubbly just like every other kid… Just like Sam was… But Dean always had this more mature side of him, and he always protected his little brother… Even though he had a great childhood with the Winchesters, he still had to grow up too soon. And it seemed to pay off right now. He had more will to stay calm and level-headed, even when Bobby was about to chop his head off in anger.

Bobby sat down with a heavy sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face. Why is it so much harder to deal with Dean and his reasonable arguments then with Sam and his tantrums? He heard movement beside him; when he looked up, Dean was kneeling next to him, looking up at him with big, bright emerald eyes, full of respect and adoration towards the older man, just like when he was a kid. For a moment he saw that little boy in the adult features.

"I just don't know what should I do" Bobby sighed again. "With Sam and you."

"You're just worried about him" Dean said. "Scared for him. I understand. But keeping him away from me is not the best solution. Every time I left him alone, he got hurt…"

"What are you talking about?"

"The car accident was because I left him" Dean explained sadly. "He was too upset to think clearly and he got behind the wheel like that. I didn't even know he had an accident until I came to get his car. And… the cast on his arm" Bobby straightened out some; he had a bad feeling about this, "he got hurt because I was terrified. That was the day I learned about the accident, and I panicked. He got lost in the forest near the village I live and…"

"And?" Bobby asked when Dean trailed off, not wanting to finish the story.

"And he got attacked by wolves" Dean whispered guiltily. "He almost died… I'm so sorry…"

"Oh, God" Bobby breathed out in horror. However, seeing the guilt and self-loathing on the young man's face and in his eyes, he couldn't stay mad at him. "Well, he's a lot better now. I guess he needed a change of scenery, right?" Dean nodded.

"You have to understand what's happening to him" the young man continued. "He loves me and I love him whole-heartedly. If I would leave him, it would break his heart again and vice versa. I remember Auntie Karen and you; I'm sure you understand what Sam feels. Please, Uncle Bobby!"

Bobby was amazed by the changes in Dean. One moment he's just like his adoptive father, it's like John Winchester is kneeling in front of him, but the other moment Dean turns back to his younger self, just staring at Bobby, waiting for the clever adult to give answers to every question in the world.

"I missed you, kiddo" Bobby whispered, trying to keep his emotions in line. He yanked the young man up into a hug, feeling the small sobs escaping through the young man's tough exterior.

"Me, too, Uncle Bobby" Dean replied, returning the embrace firmly. With that bridges were mended between the two and they could start repairing the family bond and healing their loved one, Sam.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, am I forgiven? -smiles sweetly with Sadie supporting with the kitty eyes-<strong>

**Hope you liked it! And that Bobby's anger was good enough. I thought just a threat would be enough, there's no need for the gun. -Sadie tilts her head to the side, deep in thought- No, Sadie, forget about it! -Sadie pouts and hides in closet, plotting revenge-**

**Anyway, hope I did good with this chapter! See you soon!**


	13. Chapter 12

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC, SLASH.**

**Hey, guys! Sorry for keeping you waiting! I have ideas to this story, but it's so hard for me to begin writing it. I just never seem to be able to find the right words. Hope this will be okay for you!**

**If it's a little fast, I'm sorry, I just want to get to the actions and closer to the important things. And of course, I wanted Sam to cope with his trauma finally. But I won't leave him alone for too long. :) -Sadie nods approvingly-**

**There's a little peek back to Love Under The Moonlight. I don't know if you remember the scene, or more like moment. I'm sure you're gonna recognize the song. The lyrics were written by ear. I had the song going on and on until I could write the scene. A little spoiler: in this story Dean can sing. He's just shy.  
><strong>

**So, have fun with this chappy! Hope you'll like it!**

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><p>The next morning Sam woke up completely worn out and like he just cried himself to sleep. Which, as a matter of fact, was true, now that he remembered it. Scrubbing at his swollen, itchy eyes, he raised his head up to look around. He was in his old room at home, familiar warmth molding into his back as a strong arm held him in place. Sam eased himself back onto the mattress and snuggled into the warmth. The arm tightened around him then Dean was leaning over him, checking on him worriedly.<p>

"How're you feeling?" he asked silently, pressing a kiss onto Sam's temple, who sighed at the gesture.

"Like I cried for days" Sam answered hoarsely. Dean reached over him to the nightstand and gave him a glass of water. Sam slowly sat up and accepted the drink, cooling his burning throat down. Dean, of course, still hadn't let him go and Sam just enjoyed the feeling of being held and cared for. He felt fresh tears gather in his eyes as he remembered the argument between him and his father and a small guilt bloomed in his heart for screaming at his Dad. He was just scared that someone will take Dean from him and this time he wouldn't live without him.

"Shhh…" Dean shushed his lover, feeling the distress coursing through Sam's body. "Everything's gonna be fine… I'm here and I'm not going anywhere…" Sam hid his face into Dean's neck, his deep breaths hitching now and then as he tried to calm down. Dean kept up his whispering and comforting and soon Sam let out a contented hum, filled with peace and love and the joy of being loved. Their moment was suddenly interrupted by loud growls erupting in their stomachs. They laughed at each other then got themselves out of bed and walked downstairs in search of breakfast.

As they reached the kitchen doorway, Sam froze in his place and began tensing up: Bobby was in there cooking.

"Mornin', Uncle Bobby!" Dean greeted cheerfully as he lead Sam to the table. He knew there was nothing to worry about, so for this once, he wasn't anxious about the awkwardness of the situation.

"Morning, Dean!" the older man answered as he turned around to give them their breakfast. "How're you feeling, Sam?" Sam felt his stomach churn guiltily at the genuine smile on his father's face. He had to look away before he broke down in front of everyone. Gosh, he was seriously messed up! And then a pair of strong arms wrapped around him and Sam immediately knew who was hugging him.

"'M sorry, Daddy" Sam breathed out as he returned the hug.

"It's okay, son" Bobby stroked his boy's locks comfortingly. "I was worried about you and things got out of hand. I'm sorry, too."

"I don't hate you" Sam felt that he had to clear that up with the man who was so good to him all these years.

"I know, baby boy" Bobby replied, tightening his hold on Sam briefly. After a few moments they separated and started in on their breakfast, Dean all the while smiling at his lover reassuringly.

* * *

><p>The afternoon found the young lovers in the living room sitting on the couch, while Bobby was washing the dishes from their dinner. Dean's head was leant against the back of the couch, his cheek resting on Sam's chestnut-brown locks. He had his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of his lover cuddled into his side, knowing that the boy was gazing into the nothingness and almost hearing the cogwheels spinning in his lover's head.<p>

Not like he himself wasn't wracking his brain for a solution. He wanted to get Sam through this horrible trauma and he knew it's going to take quite a while. He just hated to see his beauty so broken and terrified. However, the only way to start the healing process was if Sam finally decided to let his burdens out. He didn't know that he won't have to wait so long.

"Dean?" Sam spoke up timidly and with a little fear. Hearing that, Dean pulled away just enough so that he can look Sam in the eye.

"What is it, beautiful?" the pet name brought a quick, shaky smile onto the boy's face, but it was gone in a moment.

"I…" Sam began, but he gulped nervously. "I-I w-want to get better…"

"I know, Sammy" Dean pulled the boy back into his arms. "And you will be in time." They just sat there in each other's arms, when Dean decided to try something to draw Sam out of his shell. "Do you want me to get Bobby?" Sam pulled away surprised but then nodded gratefully. Dean gave his lover a chaste kiss before standing up and walking into the kitchen.

Sam's gaze remained on the spot where Dean disappeared. He wanted to do this for so long, he was just scared of the memories. He knew that this was the first step to cope, but it wasn't an easy one. Hell, he would go into a f-f-forest – Sam shuddered; it was getting harder to say that word even in his mind – instead of saying the happenings out loud. But Dean and his father deserved to know. Hopefully that weight on his chest will disappear after he was done.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Dean returned from the kitchen with his Dad. Dean sat onto the couch and immediately wrapped him in his arms, while Bobby sat down on Sam's other side.

"I want to tell you about… this" Sam started, showing his arm in the cast. "But… I don't know how to start…"

" Dean told me the shorter version already" Bobby eased his son's worry about the subject. Dean just held his lover tightly. Sam nodded then with a gulp he started his story:

"Well, when Dean panicked and ran out of the house, I took off after him. I was afraid that he would do something stupid and I wanted to be there for him. But Dean…" Sam uncertainly looked at Dean, silently asking him about the wolf-thing, but Dean just shrugged. "Dean was already at the t-trees" Sam decided to leave the wolf-issue out for now. "Of course I followed him, but I didn't watch where I was going and I got lost. It was… so dark…" Sam trailed off and he reached a shaky hand out to his father without a word. Bobby grasped the trembling fingers firmly, giving support for his son. "I couldn't see anything… Or hear anyone… I started walking in some direction and I was walking for a while when I slipped and fell. I rolled into a ditch next to a small river… My ankle started hurting…"

"Yeah, you twisted it" Dean noted silently, giving time for his lover to get himself together. Sam nodded and wiped at his eyes that he couldn't stop from tearing up.

"I cooled it down in the water then I remembered… the river is visible from the village… so I followed it in the right direction. I was walking for another while, when I had this… awful feeling… like when you're in danger, but you just don't know it yet… it's just a hunch… Suddenly there was the w… w-w-wo-wolf… in front of me…" Sam choked on his sobs that were trying to break out of him, the pictures too much for him. Dean began shushing and rocking his lover, trying to alleviate some of the weight of Sam's memories. In the meantime, Sam was holding onto his father's hand so tightly like a lifeline.

"It's okay, baby boy" Bobby murmured, leaning closer to his son. "Take your time."

"I-It was just standing there…" Sam continued, his voice strangled from the pressure of crying on his throat. "W-Watching me… G-G-Gr-rowling… It was c-crazy… I th-think it was r-rabid…"

"No, it wasn't" Dean spoke comfortingly. When Sam looked at him questioningly, he continued. "It bit you, but you didn't catch anything from it, especially not rabies."

"B-But I w-was out… for a week" Sam said confused.

"It was from blood loss and the shock" Dean explained, his body starting trembling from the vivid pictures of his lover covered in his own blood, lying on the floor unresponsive. Seeing that, Sam guided Dean's free hand with his own onto his chest, just above his heart. Dean relaxed some, feeling the strong, although quick beat under his fingers.

"What happened then?" Bobby asked after a few moments.

"I tried to escape" Sam continued, his voice a bit stronger. "I climbed out of the ditch as fast as I could and ran away. My ankle hurt so much, though that I fell into a tree. Before I could go further, I h-heard more g-gr-rowls behind me… I was s-s-surro-ounded…" Dean wrapped both of his arms around the struggling boy, knowing that now comes the hardest part of the story, judging by Sam's stutters. "I was pr-praying…" Sam's breaths began hitching again. "I thought I w-was doomed… But then I heard a h-h-ho-howl in the distance, which distracted the w-w-wo-w… the o-others…" Sam leaned into Dean, searching for comfort, all the while his hold unyielding on his father's hand. Bobby placed his free hand on his son's, gripping it tightly. "I quickly ran away, but I heard them coming…"

"It's okay, Sammy" Dean shushed his lover, the boy's trembles strengthening visibly. "I'm here, you're safe…"

"Th-they got closer and closer… One of them t-tackled me, but I just rolled with it and I could go on…" Sam started gasping in fear, his eyes widening when he realized he couldn't fill his lungs with air. His ears began ringing, his vision blurred and he felt bile rise in his throat as the memories finally returned so vividly as if the whole attack happened just yesterday. His body tensed with the strong gag, his stomach protesting against the pictures in his mind. He felt numbness creep into his limbs, and distantly felt the soothing caresses on his locks. All of a sudden a quiet, murmuring voice reached his ears, breaking through the loud ringing:

"Breathe, Sammy, just breathe… I'm here, I won't leave you, just breathe, I'm begging you… Breathe…"

Sam heard the anguish in Dean's tone, so he forced his lungs to expand enough so he could get some oxygen in them. Slowly his inhales deepened and the nausea subsided, taking the numbness with it. When his sight cleared, he saw Dean kneeling in front of him, a bucket behind him, while a pair of arms held him up from tumbling forward.

"That's it… In… And out… In… And out… Good…" he heard Dean's chanting. Sam felt his body relax at the gentle tone and he closed his eyes. A small burp escaped him as his stomach finally settled and Dean pressed a kiss onto his forehead.

"Do you want to stop?" the man asked quietly. Sam shook his head weakly. Strangely, his mind accepted the happenings at last, and he believed from now on he could step further in his healing. He just had to finish his story, but the peace settling in his soul indicated that it won't be a hard task for him. Dean sat back onto the couch next to him and embraced him, while Bobby kept his hold firm on the boy's hand.

"I was running away, when suddenly they got in front of me" Sam continued in a weak but steady voice. "I had to stop, because I was scared that they would attack me otherwise… They surrounded me again and I just waited for something… anything to happen… searching for a way out… And then that w-w-w-wo-wolf jumped on me, bringing me down to the ground… Its c-cl-laws tore up my side and it b-b-bit me on the arm, trying to t-t-tear it apart…" Sam flinched at the pain in his memory. His stutters signed that he still had some healing ahead of him for his mental state. "I thought I was gonna die, when the white w-w-wo-w-wolf appeared and saved me…"

"Thank you" he heard Dean whisper almost inaudibly and Sam knew he was planning to thank Lorie for being there in time.

"Lorie, the white one, stayed with me" Sam explained mostly to his father, guessing that Dean already knew what happened from this point on. "She tried to keep me warm until someone found me… I lost a lot of blood and I passed out when the doctors could finally tend to me… Next thing I know I'm in bed with Dean sitting next to me… Then I must have passed out again, because after that Julia, who I was with all this time, was trying to hold me down, when I wanted to get up… It hurt so much…" Sam turned his head into Dean's neck, while the man caressed his brown locks and Bobby rubbed his back.

"Thank you for telling me" came Bobby's slightly shaky voice. "You did a good job. I'm proud of you for telling everything to me."

"Me, too" Dean whispered into the boy's ear. "I'm so, so proud of you. You're gonna get better soon, this was a huge step and you did it… I love you…"

Sam, hearing the praises, felt his resolve crumble, and he broke down into soft sobs, relieved to have that weight off his chest. He heard some murmurs above his head and feeling the tightening, protective grip on his shoulder, he realized that Dean must have finished the story to his Dad. When the murmurs quieted down, Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders.

"'M tired" he whimpered. One of Dean's arms slipped under his knees and the man lifted him up gently in bridal style. His father's hand stroked his back once more then he was carried out of the living room. When he felt soft sheets under his weary body and a warm blanket covering him, he finally let himself drift away to sleep, knowing Dean will guard his dreams next to him.

* * *

><p>The next days were filled with comforting, provided by Dean and Bobby, trying to help Sam to get over the impact the storytelling caused him. Dean spent his time with his lover, guarding his dreams at night and filling the days with playfulness and happiness. Sam's arm was much better now. They had a surprise visit from Angela, who got Sam's cast off and examined the wound. After some exercises she declared the arm to be fully healed. The scars on Sam's bicep were still visible but they were just slightly lighter than the skin. The tangled mess made the skin feel rougher, which made Sam a little ashamed and embarrassed, but that night Dean showed him how much he loved him no matter what by showering the wound with kisses and caresses.<p>

Sam spent some time with his father, as well. Bobby gave the boys everything they needed and had a few long conversations with his son. Sam still didn't know how to tell his father about the wolves and the possibility that he's going to become one, so he waited for the opportunity to rise.

During the family time, Dean left them alone, wandering around the house, reliving his memories about the place. He found the stain on the carpet, faded by time, when he and Sam had been fighting over ice cream. Aunt Karen had never been furious with them, so when the ice cream had fallen down onto the carpet, she'd just shook her head with a smile and asked the boys to help her clean it up. The brothers had been eager to help her, feeling guilty, and even Sammy, who had just passed his second birthday, had gotten a wet rug to scrub at the stain. Dean smiled at the picture his Sam made back then, the chubby face flushed from the effort and speed he had been scrubbing. He was really adorable then.

As Dean looked over the shelves he found a stack of records on the bottom shelf. Kneeling down he slowly leafed through them, remembering the times when they had been played and recognizing some of the songs. As he reached the last one, a smile lit up his face: a memory of a morning came back to him, the room filled with hesitant singing… Turning the record around he read the track list and found the one song he was looking for. Dean began bouncing in his place excitedly, hoping to bring his lover some joy after the hard days.

* * *

><p>After a brief hushed talk with Bobby the next day, Dean had his plan in motion. After breakfast and when Bobby left to get some provisions, Sam walked upstairs to change from his pajamas so Dean hurried into the living room, changed into the clothes he hid there at night and placed the record onto the turntable of the gramophone. Putting the black fedora hat onto his head he turned the gramophone on and waited for his lover to come downstairs. He heard Sam walking down and towards the kitchen then stopping.<p>

"Dean?" he heard the call.

"In the living room, Sammy" Dean answered and soon the boy appeared in the doorway. Hazel eyes widened in surprise as he took in Dean's outlook: dark grey suit, white shirt and light-blue tie, black dress shoes, topped with the black fedora hat that was pulled slightly into emerald eyes. Sam's jaw dropped at the sight and a blush began spreading on his cheeks: Dean looked damn sexy in that attire!

"Dean?" Sam breathed shocked, his voice weak and shaky. Dean smirked at his lover's stupor and looked down at the gramophone, placing the needle to the correct point. After some soft crackling, trumpets filled the room as the music started. Sam gasped as he recognized the song and then Dean's outlook clicked in his mind, falling more in love with the man at the knowledge. He couldn't breathe as Dean and his favorite singer, Frank Sinatra began serenading to him:

_'Heaven'_ Dean stepped closer, _'I'm in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak and I seem to find the happiness I seek'_ Dean reached Sam and grasped his hand, pulling the boy closer. _'When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.'_ Dean caressed Sam's cheek at the last words, drawing a smile out of the boy at last.

_'Heaven' _Dean led Sam to the center of the living room, _'I'm in Heaven, and the cares that hung around me through the week, seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.'_ During this verse, Dean guided Sam's arm around his shoulders, still holding the boy's other hand and he wrapped his arm around the boy's waist, pulling him closer. Sam chuckled as they began swinging to the rhythm.

_'Oh, I love to climb the mountain and to reach the highest peek, but it doesn't boot me half as much, as dancing cheek to cheek.'_ Sam blushed some more listening to Dean's singing, almost forgetting Sinatra's voice in the background. They began turning around in the music's rhythm.

_'Oh, I love to go out fishing in a river or a creek, but I don't enjoy it half as much as dancing cheek to cheek.'_ Dean pushed Sam away and twirled him around, improvising something to boost their dance. Sam laughed during the moves, going with his lover's moves easily.

_'Dance with me, I want my arm about you'_ Dean pulled Sam back and embraced him, Sam wrapping his arms around Dean, too, _'that charm about you will carry me through…'_ Dean caressed Sam's cheek with his knuckles, slowing the dance down to just gentle swinging.

_'To Heaven, I'm in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find that happiness I seek, when we're out together swinging cheek to cheek.'_ As the interlude began, Dean pushed Sam away again, twirling the boy around and reveling in the happy laughs breaking out of his lover. At the louder drums, he pulled Sam back, grabbed his hips and lifted the boy up, turning around with him like this, Sam bracing himself on his shoulders.

_'Come on and dance with me, I want my arms about you, that charm about you, it will carry me through…'_ Dean put the boy down and pulled him back, Sam's back to his chest, his hold around his waist tight as he rested his head on his lover's shoulder, just swinging again to the music.

_'Right up to Heaven, I'm in Heaven'_ Dean turned Sam back around, _'and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing…'_ Dean wrapped his arm around Sam again, grabbing Sam's hand with his free one.

_'Out together dancing…'_ Dean tipped Sam back then pulling him up he pushed him away.

_'Out together dancing cheek to cheek.'_ At the last words Dean pulled Sam back into a tight embrace, their cheeks resting against each other then at the ending of the music Dean twirled Sam again and dipped him.

As silence filled the room, Sam just gazed into Dean's eyes, a smile on his face. He couldn't believe that the man would do this for him. From the hope in the emerald seas Sam realized that Dean did this to cheer him up.

Dean slowly lifted him upright, his arms still around his lover. Judging by the long crackling silence, this song was the last on the record. Dean was gazing back at Sam, hoping his little show worked. He still couldn't believe that he had been singing. However, he would do anything for Sam.

"How did you know?" Sam whispered, his voice shaky.

"What?" Dean asked rubbing Sam's back.

"That this is my favorite song." Dean sighed in relief and a smile appeared on his face.

"You were singing it one morning" he answered and noticed the surprise in Sam's eyes. "You were so cute" Dean murmured dreamily, as he caressed a flushed cheek with his knuckles. "You're voice was unsure and quiet… I immediately knew what song it was."

Sam felt tears gather in his eyes at the sweetness of the act. He almost forgot that morning and Dean remembered it for him. He sang the song for him, gave him a serenade…

"Oh no, Sammy" Dean whispered as a sob broke out of the boy. "Don't cry… I did this to cheer you up. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"I'm not sad" Sam laughed softly, feeling a little childish from the conversation. "These are happy, touched tears." With that he pressed a shy kiss onto Dean's lips. "Thank you" he breathed. Dean smiled at his success and kissed Sam more firmly, tongue caressing Sam's lower lip. Sam opened up and invited him in, sliding his hands around Dean's neck. As they broke away, they rested their foreheads to each other, eyes closed, enjoying the other's presence and warmth. They didn't move from their position, not even when Bobby arrived with the groceries.

Bobby halted in his steps as his gaze landed on his son and his 'nephew' together, the world forgotten for them in that moment. Not wanting to disturb the couple's peace, he crept into the kitchen to pack his purchases away as quietly as possible.

* * *

><p>Sam startled awake. As he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by darkness. Before he could panic, his nightmare flitting through his mind, his eyes adjusted to the dark and he could make out the familiar furniture of his room. With a sigh he remembered that he was home. He was in Sioux Falls for days now, not in the village. His tense body relaxed and he almost fell back to sleep, when a shiver ran down his spine. He was so cold; maybe that was what woke him up.<p>

Turning around he met with an empty side of the bed. Dean was nowhere to be seen. The blanket was rumpled and the sheets were cold. Sam guessed that Dean was up for quite a while now. He slowly got out of bed and wandered out of his room, looking for his lover.

Upstairs he had no luck, so he ventured down the stairs. Before he could search the rooms, he heard a yip from outside. As he reached the kitchen doorway, he saw the open back door. Moving to close it, he caught movement outside in the moonlight. He walked outside and down the steps, his bare feet making very little noise in the grass. The yip came again from the far end of the backyard. As he looked that way, he noticed the swarm of fireflies. He stepped closer, a smile tugging at his lips from the beautiful sight, when something huge jumped up from the shadows, teeth snapping at the bugs, another yip escaping the figure.

Sam felt fear tighten around his heart and he took one step away from the figure. His eyes roamed over the long muzzle, the slim body, the bushy tail, a gasp escaping him at the sight of the claws. Hearing the gasp the creature snapped its head his way, enormous body freezing. The silver moonlight reflected on its yellow fur, worry glinting in emerald irises. Sam stepped back from the animal, but his knees buckled in his terror. As he landed on the ground, the animal stepped closer to him with a whimper, but Sam cried out and began scrambling away.

It was a w-w-wo-w-wolf! A huge w-wo-w-wolf! Twice the size of the one from the forest. Sam just continued putting distance between him and the animal, but then a loud whine broke through his panic. Stopping in surprise, Sam's head finally cleared and he noticed the animal backing away from him cautiously, its head lowered and tail tucked between its legs. Whimpers escaped from the animal constantly.

Sam felt his heart slow down as the creature backed away from him. The farther it got, the more it nagged at his mind. This animal was strange, not like the ones back in the f-f-forest. Then suddenly a beam of light ricocheting from somewhere glinted in one lively emerald eye, which was filled with fear and dejection, but those were overshadowed by something unexpected: unadulterated love. Sam's eyes widened as recognition filled him.

"D-Dean?" he stuttered out shakily and one pointy ear lifted up hearing the name. "Dean, is that you?"

The animal whimpered and took a hesitant step forward. Sam fought the urge to back away, waiting for the animal's next move. The creature slowly lowered himself to the ground and relaxed, head resting on the crossed forelegs, just watching Sam and waiting.

Sam took a few deep breaths, trying to silence his panicking thoughts that were constantly screaming at him to run or he's going to be killed or mangled again. Watching the animal like a hawk, Sam cautiously leaned forward, preparing to scoot closer to the animal. After another deep breath he reached forward and slid himself a couple inches closer to the creature. Pausing in his moves, he checked the animal for any reaction, but the only difference he noticed was the amount of hope rising in the emeralds; the animal was frozen on its spot.

A couple of calming breaths later Sam repeated his move, pausing again to check for reaction and finding the same one. He repeated it until he was in front of the creature. Sam swallowed down a whimper as he caught a glimpse of the claws resting on the ground, but the animal was still not moving. Finally Sam lifted a hand and inched it closer to the animal's head. Almost at the destination, he snatched it back, scared that the creature would attack if he touched him and thinking he heard a growl. When nothing happened, he reached out again, but he withdrew once again. Chiding himself inwardly, he took a couple deep breaths and repeated his move.

This time his trembling fingertips touched fur then soon fingers buried into the yellow – no, blond hairs. He caressed the silky fur, awed by his actions, but then the animal moved its head closer to him with a groan. Sam startled and froze in his place, terrified that this was the end, he was going to die. However, it seemed the animal realized its mistake and went rigid.

Soon Sam's heart slowed down from its racing and he returned to the caressing of the fur. With a glance to the animal, he slid closer and carefully buried his fingers into the long hairs on the animal's back. He felt a smile tug at his lips again, as he stroked the creature. Feeling confident in himself, he spoke:

"You're cute."

Checking the animal for a reaction, he met with emeralds glinting with mischief, but nothing else happened. Sam felt his panic fade away, so he settled into the animal's side and laid his head on his arms that were crossed on the creature's back. It turned its head carefully towards him, but the fear usually caused by that was nonexistent now. Sam smiled at the animal that slowly curled around him; the boy felt familiar warmth flooding his body. The emeralds gazed at him, seemingly waiting for something.

"You're…" Sam started but he felt his throat tighten around the word. "You're…" He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, convincing his mind to give in. After a few silent minutes, he looked up again, eyes filled with confidence.

"You're a wolf."

The wolf began panting happily, its tail thumping on the ground leisurely. Sam scooted closer and cupped the wolf's jaw.

"You're a wolf, Dean." With an agreeing yip, Dean licked Sam's cheek, the boy laughing out loud at the gesture. Sam wrapped his arms around the wolf's neck and burrowed his face into the fur. Dean rested his head onto the brown locks, letting the boy know that he's going to protect him from anything.

"I see you had a great time" Sam mumbled, nodding at the fireflies. Dean groaned playfully and nodded. He poked Sam's head carefully with his nose and yipped once. Sam translated it as: _'So will you once.'_ That was when he remembered the bond between them. For the first time, Sam considered being a wolf like Dean. His submissive side purred in his mind – which was odd, since he would be a wolf, not a cat – at the thought and he felt more relaxed at the idea of changing species. However, there seemed to be an obstacle in it: he didn't know how to tell this to his father.

"What the hell?" The pair snapped their heads up at the voice and came face to face with a shocked Bobby. Sam quickly straightened up, but didn't move away from Dean.

"Dad" he spoke, his mind frozen from anxiousness. Now he had the opportunity to fess up, not like he had a choice. "I can explain…"

"I've never seen a wolf this big" Bobby muttered stunned. "I must be dreaming…" Dean whimpered at the older man, begging him to believe Sam.

"Dad, he's not a normal wolf" Sam spoke up, finally earning his father's attention.

"He?" Bobby asked confused.

"Yes" Sam nodded then with a gulp he continued. "He's Dean."

"What?" Bobby was shocked into silence. The wolf was Dean? That can't be right. He was just speaking to him this afternoon.

"It's true. There's an entire village with wolves like him" Sam explained. "I was there this whole time. They can turn from human to wolf and back. I saw it with my own eyes.' Bobby still couldn't speak, his mind processing what he heard. "Dad, please, you have to believe me!"

"Can he turn back?" Bobby spoke abruptly. Dean recoiled at the question and his eyes filled with embarrassment: if wolves could blush, his face would be as red as a tomato.

"Um…" It seemed that Sam's mind was on the same track. He turned to Dean. "Do you have any clothes?" Dean nodded and looked at the stairs. As Sam followed his gaze, he noticed a pile of clothes next to the steps. He jumped and hurried to gather them, returning to Dean's side. The wolf glanced at Bobby, who was watching him attentively, then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

As he slowly let it out, the fur shrunk back into his skin, his legs reduced in size and fingers grew back onto his hands. His nozzle shrunk, too, and soon a very human Dean was lying on the grass, eyes averted from everyone and face colored with the blush of embarrassment. Sam quickly handed him his clothes. Dean hurriedly got into his jeans then they stood up to face Bobby's reaction.

"Dad?" Sam spoke, as they took in the older man's wide eyes and slack jaw, still looking at Dean in disbelief.

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" Bobby muttered out in a weak voice. "Can one of you pinch me, so I can wake up?" Sam cautiously stepped closer to his father and did as he asked. Bobby startled and seemed to shake his stupor. "It's real" he breathed then swiftly turned around and dashed back into the house. Sam and Dean quickly followed him and found him at the liquor cabinet, chugging down the whisky. After a couple big swigs, Bobby slammed the bottle down and turned to the boys.

"Explanation! Now!" he ordered. The boys looked at each other, feeling like kids again then the three of them settled down around the table and discussed this whole issue. The first beams of the sun greeted them, when they retired to their room to sleep. Sam was tossing and turning in his bed nervously, since they still couldn't bring up the possibility of him turning into a wolf. He had to tell his father about it, he just didn't know how. Hopefully Dean will help him out in this and his father will take in the new information as calmly as possible.

_TBC_

* * *

><p><strong>So, how was it? Bobby is NOT a hunter, hence his reaction. I didn't want him to faint, so I made him drink... -sheepish look-<strong>

**By the way, Frank Sinatra is one of my favorite singers, and this song is the best in my opinion. At least for now. :)**

**Alright, Read and Review! See you soon!  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 13

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Angst ahead! Mentions of MPreg.  
><strong>

**Hey, everyone! Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long! This chappy is more of Sam struggling with some new information and his internal confusion.  
><strong>

**I decided that this part of Sam and Dean's love story will be ended soon. I already have an idea for the next part, and some smaller ones for the one after that. I realized that I need to cut this part into two, otherwise it would be so much longer than LUTM was. So, I just thought I'd give you a heads-up.**

**But don't worry! This story has some more struggles ahead. There's still one character who hasn't been in the spotlight yet. -Sadie purrs delightedly-  
><strong>

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

_(PS: Congratulations to Jared on having a son! I'm sure he'll be a great father.)_

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><p>The next morning Sam was awoken by chirps floating through the window and small noises in the bedroom. As he opened his eyes, his mind still half-deep in sleep, he could make Dean out, who was moving around the room. After a few seconds, Sam realized that the man was gathering their stuff, packing them away in the duffel bags.<p>

"Dean?" he called sleepily, causing Dean to look up with a startle. "Wha's goin' on?"

"Sorry" Dean sat down next to Sam on the edge of the bed. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"S'okay" Sam replied, rubbing Dean's thigh, slowly emerging from the clutches of sleep and haze. He smiled when Dean caressed his cheek. "What are you doing?" he asked, pushing himself up against the headboard, scrubbing the last of his dreams out of his eyes.

"I was thinking about going back" Dean replied guiltily. "I miss the others and the village. But if you want to stay some more, we can… I'll just put everything back…"

"It's alright, Dean" Sam cut him off, threading his fingers with Dean's. "We should get back." His response earned him a grateful kiss and smile. "I just need to talk to Dad, okay?"

"Of course" Dean nodded. "I'll just finish packing and then meet you downstairs." With another kiss, Sam got out of bed to change his clothes and went to search for his father. He found the older man in the kitchen, only starting to get the ingredients for breakfast.

"Hey, Dad" he spoke up. Bobby turned around with a smile.

"Mornin', kiddo."

"Dean and I are gonna get back to the village" Sam said softly. Bobby's smile fell, giving way for sadness.

"So soon?" he asked gruffly. Sam immediately knew his Dad was upset.

"Yes" Sam began playing with the hem of his T-shirt. "Dean is already packing upstairs."

"Yeah, I guess I should've expected that" Bobby sighed. "It will always be hard to see you go." Hearing that, Sam remembered the day he'd decided to move out. Bobby had been upset and withdrawn, trying to show a gruff exterior just like now. And just like last time, Sam stepped to his father and burrowed himself into the older man's arms. Even though there were a few inches of height difference between them, Sam could always cuddle up to his Dad like when he was a little boy. As usual, Bobby ruffled Sam's hair affectionately, holding the boy's head in the crook of his neck for a few moments.

After a few seconds Sam pulled away and sent a reassuring smile to his Dad. Bobby stroked his cheek then patted his shoulder in silent acceptance. Sam then remembered the one thing he needed to share with his father. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Bobby uncertainly.

"Dad, the thing about Dean?" At Bobby's confused look, he elaborated. "About the wolves?" he felt some confidence gathering in him as he said the word without stutters.

"Oh, yeah" Bobby nodded. "What about it?"

Sam swallowed, looking into the light blue eyes of his Dad. He had to tell him… He needed to know what his son got himself into… He had a right to know…

"I just…" Sam started, but his throat closed up from nervousness, choking his words back. After another swallow, he forced himself to speak:

"I just wanted to know if you're okay with this" Sam's eyes widened when he finished his sentence. What the hell? This wasn't what he wanted to say. His mouth fell open slightly in surprise. Bobby, luckily, hadn't noticed anything.

"Well" the older man spoke, "it's kind of unbelievable, but I saw the proof that it was real. So, I'm okay with it. Although, I need some time to adjust to this." While Bobby was talking, Sam quickly composed himself, not wanting to give his reaction away.

"Thanks" Sam said, just as Dean stepped into the kitchen.

"Hey, Sammy" the man called. "Everything's packed and in the car."

Sam nodded and said bye to his father. As he turned back in the doorway, he caught Dean hugging Bobby, as well, so he walked out to the car, giving the two a little privacy. He was leaning against the door of the passenger's side, when Dean walked out of the house, followed by Bobby. The older man waved at Sam with a sad smile and the boy waved back before climbing into the car. The next moment the engine revved and the Impala pulled away from the house, leaving the town behind.

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><p>Empty fields flashed by, the sky dressed in a beautiful shade of light blue, fading into white as the sun ascended. Sam's eyes were stuck on the exquisite view whisked away by the speed of the car, his mind filled with wonder how such a breathtaking scene can possibly exist. However, his troubles succeeded to worm their way in amongst his thoughts, chasing away the peace inside him. Why couldn't he tell his father about the bonding? He really wanted to hear the man's opinion about it and hoped that he would give his blessing on them. They explained everything; it should've been an easy topic to discuss.<p>

Then he realized: he didn't want to upset his father. Bobby was sad even from seeing his son leave him, although Sam definitely planned to get back for a visit. If the man found out that Sam considered changing species for Dean, he would most likely take it the wrong way, thinking that Sam wouldn't be the same as before. Sam knew that this must be the answer since he was afraid of that concept, too. How much would he change from the bonding? It didn't even happen and Sam already developed a submissive personality, which made him feel a bit schizophrenic. If his body changes to accommodate to the submissive role, would his entire being change with it? He had to find that out, he didn't want to lose himself.

"What is it?" Dean's voice broke through his thoughts, the tone the same as the night when Sam had seen his lover change into a wolf. Sam sighed heavily and tried to think up the words to share what was on his mind.

"Just thinking" he said eventually, feeling the silence stretching out too long. "About us."

"Oh?" In that simple sound Sam heard the inquiry and a little worry.

"Dean" Sam started with a deep breath. "Ever since you brought up the bonding and me being your mate, I've been thinking about it. Everyday." Sam looked up at his lover, who had his eyes trained on the road, but the frown on his face indicated that he was listening. "You know how much I love you. I want to be with you, no matter what. So I started considering the… completion." At his last word, he snatched his gaze away, feeling a blush burning his cheeks. As he was trying to decide how to sink into the ground without injuring the car, he didn't notice the Impala pulling over to stop. Only when the engine was cut off did he look up: they were at an empty field, Dean staring at him deep in thought from the driver seat.

"I'm sensing a 'but' here" the man commented softly. Sam felt guilt creep up into his mind and he averted his eyes again, while giving a nod to the statement.

"I know it seemed like I was concentrating on the right development of our relationship, wanting to go slow and all, and I still am, but…" Sam turned back to Dean, needing to say this into the man's face. "I want a family." Dean's frown deepened as understanding appeared in the emeralds. "I know that you want it, too. I heard you with Julia. I just… I can't see it happen with us." Dean lowered his gaze at that. Sam felt like he just destroyed a little boy's sandcastle on the beach right after he was done with it. "It's not like I don't want a family with you. I do, just as much as you want it with me. But… you can call me an idiot, but I want to have my own children. To raise my own flesh and blood. I know that as two guys we have the option to adopt, but it just wouldn't be the same, you know?"

Dean was still silent, as if he was still only processing Sam's words. The boy pushed down the urge to bounce his leg in nervousness, his fingers already playing with each other. The deep silence was so tense and heartbreaking; Sam felt horrible, like he just ran over a puppy. He reached out to comfort his lover, but at the last minute he caught himself, snatching his hand back, guessing that Dean needed to sort his thoughts out on his own.

"So" Dean spoke up in a firm voice devoid of emotion, "you would let me turn you and would want to complete the bond, if you could have children of your own?" Sam nodded sadly. Dean then squared his shoulders slightly, seemingly preparing for a huge conversation. "There's something I need to talk to you about." A bad feeling filled Sam's heart: a discussion starting with that sentence usually wasn't a good one. He just hoped it wasn't a break-up speech. He would die from heartbreak in that instant.

"Wh-What?" he asked with a gulp.

"Do you remember the day the family-thing came up?" Sam nodded shakily. Was this about his freak-out from back then? "That morning" Dean continued, "after you found the bracelet, you caught me off-guard." Sam's brow furrowed. He remembered that morning: it was the first time Dean gave him that hazy answer. The picture of widened emeralds in the mirror, the perfect image of being caught with a hand in the cookie jar before dinner was still very vivid in his mind.

"There is an option for having a family" Dean's voice broke through the rush of memories. "For us, even." Sam's eyebrows slid up in surprise. His lover, though, was still drilling a hole into the floor of the car with his gaze. "There is a chance that your body will change to fit into the submissive role."

"I know" Sam replied confused, "you said that already…"

"Sam, listen!" Dean looked up at last, straight into the hazel irises. "There is a chance that your body will _change_ to fit into the role."

Sam needed a few seconds to realize what Dean was trying to say to him. When the message was received, his eyes widened to saucers and his mouth fell open from shock, nothing escaping from his frozen body. A minute later, during which Dean hadn't broken the eye-contact, Sam jerked into motion.

"Are you saying…" Sam started breathlessly, "that… you're… I…" It looked like his brain needed some more time to reassemble. When Dean nodded, he felt the air in the car's closed space press down onto his lungs and all of a sudden he couldn't get any oxygen in. With a jump, he clawed at the car door, trying to get it open and only succeeding after a few tries. He stumbled out of the car and away into the empty field.

Dean just watched his lover stagger away, hands rising up and burying themselves into chestnut-brown locks. He knew how big this new information was, that's why he hadn't moved yet to join Sam. He kept a watchful eye on the boy, in case the panic overwhelmed him. He just hoped that Sam will be able to calm down so they can rationally discuss this or have a calm goodbye to each other. After a few moments, he heard the deep, rattling breaths as Sam tried to get himself under control. He shuddered from the sound, feeling helpless and guilty, not liking when his mate had to suffer.

Meanwhile, Sam gripped his hair tightly, the tiny pinpricks keeping him somewhat grounded in this craziness. What the hell had he gotten himself into? Was he right about Dean's implications? Did he just say that…? But how could _that_ happen? He slowed his breathing down, not finding passing out a very appealing idea. Well, if there are wolves like Dean… He tried to rationalize this whole new aspect. As he slowly went through the trials he'd gone through so far, he felt himself and his thoughts settle down. If there can be shapeshifters, such as Dean…

Why would it be so impossible for him to get pregnant?

Dean watched the tense muscles in his lover's back unwound, relieved to see that Sam finally got himself together. The hands buried in the brown locks fell down, slapping against the boy's jeans, while Sam's head lowered. There was still a slight tremble wracking Sam's body that only his sharp vision could pick up. He knew there was a long way for Sam to calm down and get used to the idea he just presented to his lover.

Sam took deep breaths, fully aware that his mind wouldn't settle just yet, waiting for the opportunity for a complete meltdown. As he finally looked up, his gaze involuntarily slid to his stomach. What would it be like to have a tiny life growing inside him? Feeling the movements and kicks from the inside, knowing that his child is healthy and is getting ready to be born? Before he could stop himself, his hand lifted up inching closer to his stomach, his brain trying to come up with an image of him being… With a jerk he snatched his hand back, lowering it to his side quickly. What was he thinking?

He breathed in a couple more times then shaking himself free from tension, he walked back to the car and got in. He felt Dean's intense and worried gaze pinned to the side of his face and after a few seconds he returned the look. With a weak smile, he reached out and took Dean's hand, gripping it tightly briefly to assure the man he was alright. Dean's gaze roved over his face attentively then without a word he started the car and they continued their way back to the village.

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><p>Sam was sitting on the edge of the king bed, head resting in his hands, deep in thought. Dean and he had arrived early this afternoon back in the village. They'd been greeted by Julia jumping into their arms happily, while Bryan had waved with a smile. The two had noticed the slight tension between the pair, so they'd ushered them upstairs so they can settle down. Dean was now downstairs talking to Julia, after they took a nap together. Sam was still in his pajamas.<p>

His mind was miles away from the house. More exactly, it was next to an empty field in the Impala. He was mentally going through the conversation he had with Dean. He was really happy that he can have a family with the love of his life. It was just such an enormous step that he was scared to take it. He has to change _species_ for that to happen! Dean was great with his dilemma. He didn't rush him to make a decision, he just waited and loved him the same way as before.

Sam looked down at his stomach with a frown. The part of his mind that was filled with general knowledge screamed in protest of this unnatural information. Men can't have babies! They can't give birth! But the other part that was growing steadily, fed by the new experiences he went through since he'd met Dean, fought with tooth and nail against the protests. That part found an ally in his heart and emotions towards Dean. If Dean said that he can get pregnant if he was turned – after all, he had given some proof of the unnatural by being a shapeshifter, who can turn into a wolf – then he should believe him. Dean loves him, he wouldn't play with him this cruelly.

Out of the blue, a strange thought occurred in his mind. He straightened up, lowering his hands into his lap, giving himself a better view of his stomach. If he did get pregnant, would his stomach grow with the baby, stretching his skin out? Would he be as moody as women from the hormones? He certainly wouldn't want to experience morning sickness.

One of his hands slid closer to his stomach then after a second lasting forever, his fingertips touched their destination. Almost immediately his palm joined his fingers, warming his skin through the T-shirt. He felt awe fill him, even though he didn't even have a life growing inside him. Looking up to peek around, not wanting to get caught, his eyes landed on the full-length mirror. He noticed how pale his features were, eyes wide like a deer's that was caught in the headlights.

He tilted his head in question as his gaze roamed over his reflection. He felt a little embarrassed when his eyes swept over his hand on his stomach. His brow furrowed: what would he look like? He tried to imagine himself with a big belly, but his mind just wouldn't supply that for him. With a sudden idea, he turned to the head of the bed. Maybe…? It wouldn't hurt…

With a shrug, he stood up and grabbed a pillow from the bed. He looked at the object uncertainly, doubting his sanity a little bit, but then with a deep breath he fluffed it up, while he walked to the mirror. Observing his reflection watchfully, he slowly stuffed the pillow under his shirt, right onto his stomach, careful about the pillow's form. Pulling his T-shirt over it, he arranged it a bit so it would look like he was… Ignoring the blush coloring his pale cheeks, he pulled his sweatpants up a little, covering the whole pillow with his clothes.

Sam's jaw fell open as he looked his work over. He couldn't believe how accurately he nailed the image that was circling in his mind, only letting small glimpses out, and was now firmly in one place, cleared from everything else for more detailed observations. The only thing missing was his bellybutton poking out through the fabric of the T-shirt. With the pillow he looked like he was six months along, at least he thought so. By strange coincidence, his stomach growled soft and long, almost like something was… _inside…_ Before he could snap out of his shock, his hand flew to his abdomen, tenderly smoothing out on the pillow, as if…

Sam felt himself begin shaking: what was going on with him? As he was stressing himself about his reaction, his stomach growled again the same way but a little longer. His hand unconsciously started sliding up and down the pillow, almost soothingly… A distressed sob broke out of him, when he caught his actions. He was losing his mind…

Suddenly heat washed over him and he recognized the instincts of his submissive side flaring up. When another growl sounded in his stomach, he returned to the soothing strokes of the pillow and before he could stop himself, his mouth opened:

"Shhh…"

Looking up, he noticed the redness in his eyes and the tear tracks glittering on his white face. His breath caught in his throat, when he realized what happened. However, before he could do something about it, a voice rang out behind him:

"You're beautiful…"

Sam's heart jumped up to his throat: he'd been caught! He slowly turned around, finding himself face to face with Dean, who was in the doorway, watching the boy with awe and love in his eyes. Sam quickly tried to get the pillow out from under his T-shirt, but Dean appeared next to him and grabbed his wrists gently, halting his frantic, shaky movements.

"Leave it" Dean said softly, arranging the pillow back as it was then wrapping his arm around Sam's waist. He wiped the tears off of Sam's cheeks tenderly, pressing a gentle kiss onto the boy's lips. "Look" the man turned his lover towards the mirror. Sam broke down at the sight, confused from the slight disgust and disbelief from his mind and the constant joy and pleasure coursing through his heart, the two clashing together. His submissive side purred at the sight and the feel of his dominant around him.

"Look how gorgeous you are" Dean gushed softly as he pulled Sam tightly into his arms. His heart was hurting from the distraught sobs wracking the boy's body, but he noticed in their reflection that Sam was watching himself in the mirror. "It's okay" Dean whispered, rocking them slowly to calm Sam down. "You're going to be a great parent."

As soon as that sentence left his mouth, Sam's eyes crossed and his body went limp. Only Dean's arms held him upright, the boy's head falling onto the man's shoulder. Dean tightened his hold around Sam, not letting the poor boy slip out of his grip. When he had a good hold of him, he lifted the heavy body into his arms like it weighed nothing and carefully laid his lover onto the bed.

"Sammy?" he tapped at the boy's cheeks, trying to rouse him, but he had no success. He lovingly brushed the stray locks from Sam's eyes then carefully pulled the pillow out from under the T-shirt, laying it under the boy's head. He pressed a soft kiss onto Sam's forehead, feeling the rapidly throbbing pulse under his fingertips, when he cradled the boy's neck. With a sigh, he got up and left the unconscious boy alone, not wanting him to wake from blissful darkness, only to be reminded of the happenings so rudely with Dean's presence. With a last look, he closed the door behind him.

_TBC..._

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><p><strong>So, how was it? I don't think any man would take this news too calmly. :)<strong>

**Please, Read and Review! The more I get, the more courage I have to write the next chapter.**

**See you soon!**


	15. Chapter 14

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. SLASH, as in a bit aggressive man/man loving.  
><strong>

**Hey, guys! Here's the next chapter. Hope you're still reading this story.  
><strong>

**In this chappy, Sam's angst-filled rollercoaster ride of emotions is coming to an end. And also, a new character is introduced.  
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**I hope you'll like the change in the end. ;D  
><strong>

**Alright! Enjoy!**

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><p>The feel of a cool breeze and warm sheets under him greeted Sam, when he regained consciousness. He tried to open his eyes, but it was like lifting up an eleven-pound dumbbell with his pinky. When he finally succeeded, a sharp pain pierced through his brain, making him moan. He lifted his hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose, hard enough to dig his nails into it. When the pain decreased to a bearable level, he looked up again.<p>

He was alone. The room was quiet. Even the birds outside were silent, as if they were waiting for something. Sam's brow furrowed when he hazily remembered a voice:

_'You're beautiful…'_

Sam slowly staggered up against the headboard, one hand on his forehead. It felt like his brain wanted to leak out of his head through his ears and nose. The pain inside was thrumming and Sam soon realized that its rhythm is the same as his heartbeat. As he lifted his gaze up onto the room, his vision wavered slightly and the ground tried to pull him down, but he fought it with all his might. He took deep breaths, in through his nose, out through his mouth, and the pain eased up a little, chasing the dizziness away.

_'You're going to be a great parent.'_

Sam startled at the voice. It was Dean. However, when he looked around the man was nowhere in sight. But it was so real, like he was in the room with him…

All of a sudden, the memories from before his blackout slammed into his head, shoving everything else out of their way, competing for the front of his mind. Sam buried his face into his hands and slowly sorted them through…

_Farewell… to Bobby…_

_ Panic… on an empty field…_

_ Shock… in a car…_

_ Fear… of rejection…_

_ Relief… on a front yard…_

_ Wonder… at the mirror… at a pillow…_

_ Disgust… at a reflection…_

_ Love… for a life… not even inside him yet…_

Sam's eyes snapped open. He remembered everything now. His hands flew to his stomach, which was now flat. He deflated in relief and… sadness? Why would he feel sad? This wasn't natural! He was going crazy…

He was missing the feeling…

Sam shook his head hard to dismiss that thought. Why can't everything be normal for once? Be calm for once? Why couldn't he have a calm, peaceful, _normal_ life like everyone else? Like what he dreamed of? With a loving partner… a house… kids…

He felt that warmth besiege his stubborn mind and he knew that the parasite in his heart called _'his submissive side'_ was behind all this. This was so unfair… It's like he can't even recognize his own body… His own thoughts… He was ruined…

Sam swallowed back a sob and carefully stood up. He needed some air before he went nuts inside here. He wobbled a bit when he was upright but stubbornly made his way out into the hallway and to the stairs. Clutching at the railing, he walked slowly down the steps.

As he reached the bottom, he heard voices from the kitchen. A sense of Déjà vu filled him: nowadays he gets information from eavesdropping. Leaning against the wall, he listened in on the conversation:

"Don't you think it was a little too soon…?" It was Julia. She sounded worried. Her words were cut off though by a low growl.

"Oh, yeah, why didn't I think of that?" From the snappy, sarcastic tone, Dean was pissed, but worried. "You know what? Then why don't you wave your magical time-traveling wand and send me back to yesterday so I can clock myself in the face to remember to shut up?"

"Watch your tone with me!" Julia retorted in a firm voice then sighed. "Okay, you're right. He _did_ bring the subject up. But…"

"Don't tell me I should've sugarcoated it, 'cause I swear…"

"Fine, fine…" Julia was now a bit exasperated. "You did sugarcoat it. Saying that was a thousand times better than 'if I change you, you can get pregnant'."

Sam cringed from the words. _'Yeah, Dean did sugarcoat it…'_ he thought hazily, just before the panic filled his mind again. This can't be true… This _isn't_ true! He can't be… This wasn't normal… Sam felt himself get worked up, his trembling strengthening to full-blown shakes. He fisted his hands to fight for staying afloat on the ocean of confusion and denial.

He jumped so suddenly that he slammed himself into the wall: a hand touched his back. He whirled around, pushing himself into the hard surface behind him. His wide, crazed eyes landed on a small, blonde girl, probably eighteen years old. Her crystal-blue eyes were wide, too, but from surprise and concern… For a moment, the picture of a white wolf in a forest flitted through Sam's mind. However, he wasn't thinking clearly: his heart pounded in his ears erratically, his vision spun in a dizzying speed, his breaths turned into wheezy gasps as he tried to push himself back and back…

"Sam?" he heard Dean's voice beside him, making him jump again. The emerald gaze was glinting in fear as they roamed over Sam's shaky form. As the tremors increased, Sam's last memory was Dean rushing forward, before he was swallowed by the darkness.

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><p>Dean cradled Sam's limp body close, as he was kneeling on the floor. He'd barely managed to stop the boy's fall, saving him from a nasty hit on the head. He looked up at Julia helplessly, who was looking at the two in shock. For once the girl was speechless.<p>

"Dean?" the blond girl stepped closer. The firm determination on her young face told him that she was going to take charge for now. "Who is he?" her voice was so gentle, like a cooling breeze in the hot summer afternoon.

"Sam" Dean answered shakily, feeling like a little boy, lost in the darkness with his younger brother. He glanced at Sam long enough to stroke the deathly pale, clammy cheek, before turning back to the girl.

"Is he your mate?" she asked. Dean nodded.

"Help him, Lorie" Dean pleaded, for once helpless, and tightened his hold on Sam.

"Okay" Lorie nodded. "Why don't you lay Sam onto the couch?"

Dean did as he was told, being gentle with Sam as if he was made of glass. As he arranged the unconscious boy on the couch and covered him up with the comforter on the back of the couch, he pressed a kiss onto Sam's lips. When he cradled Sam's neck, his fingertips felt a more erratic pulse than before. He felt guilt seep into his heart. He did this to Sam. He caused this much pain and trouble to his beautiful mate. Just because he was not a human being…

Lorie appeared next to him, brushing a comforting hand across his shoulders then began mopping up Sam's sweaty brow with a wet cloth, making her way down the boy's cheek. When she reached his neck, she frowned at the quick pulse under her fingers.

"Julia?" she called out and the girl stepped to them. "Could you make us some tea?" Lorie asked. When Julia's green eyes widened, Lorie nodded grimly. Without another word, Julia disappeared in the kitchen.

"Lorie" Dean spoke, his voice now more composed. "Let me do it!" With a smile, the girl handed the wet cloth over and left the pair alone.

Dean lovingly tended to his mate, pressing small, soothing kisses onto the boy's cheeks and temple. He felt horrible, seeing his beautiful angel in such a state. Why couldn't he have waited with the revelation? They haven't known each other for two months yet. They were moving onwards in their relationship so fast, Dean was afraid they would crash into something… Like now…

He knew he should have waited. He was considering staying quiet after Sam confessed. But he was afraid. Afraid that if he doesn't tell Sam the truth then he would leave him. Sam wanted a family… _His own_ family… Dean couldn't deny that from him. But he selfishly chose to confess, hoping that Sam stayed with him and they would live happily ever after…

_'Yeah, right'_ he thought bitterly, hating himself. Instead Sam had a breakdown and was possibly on the verge of a heart attack or an aneurysm or something. _'Good job, Dean.'_

"Here." A cup was held out in front of him, the liquid in it steaming. Dean smelt the unpleasant scent of valerian, recoiling from it. Julia chuckled at his face. "Give this to Sam when he wakes up."

Dean nodded, taking the cup and putting it onto the coffee table. The girls left the room silently, leaving them alone, hoping they could discuss what was happening between them.

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><p>Sam groaned inwardly when he realized he fainted again. He was angry at himself for being so weak. He can't even get himself together for ten minutes without collapsing. But he felt so overwhelmed by everything… The wolves… his injuries… his fears… the option of <em>pregnancy…<em> He was surprised he was still sane after everything.

He was pulled out of his self-loathing by a smell making his nose wrinkle. He turned his head away with a groan, but the scent seemed to follow him.

"Come on, Sammy" he heard a soothing voice. He felt his heart skip a beat: it was Dean. He tried to open his eyes but the lids just fluttered slightly. It was like they were stuck. "Come on. Rise and shine, beautiful!"

Sam sighed then finally gathered enough strength to look up. His gaze landed on Dean's pale features in front of him. The emerald gaze was glinting with worry. The room they were in was slightly darker than before: night was closing in.

Sam carefully pushed himself up, his limbs still shaking from exhaustion and nerves. He noticed the cup of steaming tea in Dean's hands.

"Drink this" Dean held the cup out and Sam took it obediently. He made a face at the smell of the drink but slowly emptied the cup. As he handed it back to Dean, he felt the effect of the tea: his racing thoughts slowed down, settling in their places in his mind. He couldn't help but sigh from the peace that engulfed him. "You're okay?" Dean asked quietly.

"Better" Sam replied wearily. Dean suddenly stood up and held out a hand.

"Why don't we take a walk?" he suggested. Sam thought about it. He really wanted to get out of this house and away from the reminder of the afternoon, but if Dean wanted to come with him, he would, no doubt, want to talk to him about what happened. Finally, he accepted the fact that there was no way out of this, so he grasped Dean's hand and let himself be pulled up to his feet.

They slowly walked out of the house and down the steps. Dean intertwined their fingers and Sam leaned his head onto Dean's shoulder for a moment before he was pulled forward. He felt a little drowsy from the tea, but not as much as that night when he'd been bullied by those teenagers. When he found his head leaning towards Dean's shoulder again, the man pulled his hand away and wrapped it around Sam's waist, bringing him closer. Sam slipped his arm onto Dean's back and they walked together leisurely like this. They weren't talking; they just enjoyed the fresh air and the peaceful silence around them. Sam breathed deeply, feeling that peace fill his lungs and traveling through his veins into every fiber of his body. He never felt so content in his life like in his lover's arms in a secluded village, without the crowds and the noise of a city.

They've been walking around aimlessly for quite a while, Sam closing his eyes and letting Dean lead him, trusting the man, when Dean stopped. As soon as Sam looked up, he froze.

They were standing at the edge of the forest.

"What do you say?" Dean whispered as if he was afraid of frightening him again if he spoke louder. "You wanna take a stroll in there?"

Sam swallowed audibly, his eyes stuck on the dark trunks of the trees. His side and arm began aching from the memories of claws and teeth. He wanted to get better, but he didn't want to worsen his fragile state of mind by another shock.

"Okay" Dean breathed. "How about this?" As he stepped closer to the forest, he met resistance followed by a scared whimper. "Shhh, it's okay… I'm here, no one and nothing will hurt you…"

"Don't wanna…" Sam whimpered. Growls filled his ears and the whistle of the air as he tried to escape.

"It's okay, Sammy" came Dean's voice crystal-clearly through the sounds. "Calm down… We're not going in…"

Sam took deep breaths and shut his eyes tightly, too terrified to look at the trees. He felt himself step forward, guided by Dean's gentle hold, and the man grasped his hand. Sam jumped when his fingers touched a rough surface, which he recognized as the bark of a tree. Echoes of growls around him assaulted his senses, the stench of mangy fur filling his nose. The pain in his side was thrumming relentlessly, reminding him of that day. A piercing scream flowed out of the forest… Sam needed a few moments to realize it was his own scream from his memories…

"That's it" Dean breathed into his ear, his words breaking through the wall of sounds like a cobweb. "You're safe… I'm here with you… I'll protect you…"

Sam took deep breaths to regulate himself, focusing on Dean's gentle tone and soothing words. He was with Dean… Dean's arms were around him, keeping him safe… He wasn't in the forest, surrounded by wolves… He was with Dean… As he repeated this mantra, his muscles unwound from the tension and his memories slipped away into the room, where the horrible things from his past resided, safely locked away. As the key turned, a click resounding in his mind, he cautiously opened his eyes.

Crickets began their concert among the trees, the gentle wind rustling up the leaves. Sam saw his hand on one of the tree trunks, Dean's fingers holding it there. As the night slowly approached the village and the forest, the darkness slowly wound itself around each and every tree like weed, creeping closer and closer. Sam watched the sight fascinated. The sun was still way up on the sky but the forest was darkening like it was already midnight.

Without realizing it, he stepped closer and out of Dean's hold. The man let him go, but stayed close to him; his presence was enough to keep Sam grounded. Sam slowly lowered his hand, caressing the coarse bark of the tree in front of him. Stepping around it, he looked over the crowd of brown pillars and the small golden beams breaking through the green treetops.

"It's beautiful" he breathed, his fear squashed by the serene view in front of him. He sensed Dean coming closer then arms wrapped around his waist, Dean molding into his back with a pleased sigh.

"Wanna take a walk?" he asked. Sam nodded, still in awe and the two penetrated the forest.

* * *

><p>Everything was silent, the air filled with the last chirps of the birds, giving the stage to the crickets. The breeze helped their music to travel around the forest, spreading it to the animals as a lullaby or as an awakening. As it flew through the trees, it met with two people, who were walking leisurely in each other's arms. It circled them, bathing them in the soft rhythm, before moving on.<p>

Sam sighed as he finally left his worries and terror behind, more and more with every step. He reveled in the warm weight of Dean's arm around him and watched in wonder the beautiful scenery they waded through. As he looked up, the sun peeked through the leaves now and then, blinding him slightly with its bright, golden beams. Sam couldn't understand how he could've been so terrified from something this breathtakingly stunning. Looking back, though, it was perfectly understandable, but he couldn't help the shame he felt from being afraid. However, he did everything to indulge in his surroundings, to make up for the sight he deprived himself of because of the trauma.

They reached a smaller clearing where the grass was shadowed by the crowns of the trees, sheltered against the descending sun. Sam felt like he stepped into a fairy tale, as some butterflies flitted through the air, landing on the flowers now and then before retreating into the forest for the approaching night.

"Come on" Dean spoke as he led Sam towards the center of the clearing. When they reached it, Dean sat down, pulling the boy with him. Soon he was lying on the soft grass, Sam in his arms, watching the clouds inch by above them on the sky and the sun disappear minute by minute beyond the treetops. "You okay?" Dean asked quietly, turning towards Sam.

"Yeah" Sam replied, still in awe from the scene he witnessed. "I feel loads better." His answer was welcomed by silence. When he looked at Dean, he saw the reluctance in the emerald eyes. Sam knew instantly what Dean wanted.

"What happened?" came that accursed question. Sam averted his gaze, the peaceful mood evaporating in a moment's notice. "What's wrong?" Trying to avoid the answer, Sam got to his feet, wrenching himself away from Dean. His arms found their way around his torso, as he wished desperately to sink into the ground, away from those piercing eyes filled with worry that pulled at his heart.

"Please, Sammy" Dean stood up, as well, but didn't go to the boy's side, knowing when his touch was welcome and when it wasn't. "Let me help you… You scared me back there. That wasn't like you at all. You're always so strong… Seeing you so broken and hopeless hurt me. Please, talk to me!"

Sam began shaking from the raw pleading in his lover's voice. His instincts begged him to give in, to confess his feelings. However, this just made him feel angry. The deep silence stretching between them showed that Dean must have felt the rising fury inside Sam.

"It's too much…" slipped out of Sam's mouth in a broken tone. "Everything's too much… I just want peace… Just want it to shut up…"

"What?" Dean stepped closer at that, confusion filling him. What was Sam talking about? What does he want to shut up? When he didn't get a reply, he cautiously walked to the boy's side and laid a hand on a trembling shoulder.

At that moment, Sam whirled around, grabbed his T-shirt and pushed him up against a tree. Dean was so shocked, he didn't even register the aggressive lips attacking his at first. However, before he could respond to the kiss, Sam pulled away with a whimper and lowered his head onto Dean's chest. The boy was shaking so hard, Dean was afraid he would go into a seizure. Slowly he smoothed his hand up Sam's biceps and onto his shoulders.

A furious growl halted his movement then Sam straightened up, gripped his wrists and slammed it against the tree above Dean's head. Dean flinched from the pain the rough treatment inflicted on him, but Sam was now back on his lips, shoving his tongue into Dean's mouth forcefully. This kiss lasted no more than a second, however: Sam went limp with a whine, falling into Dean's chest, who had to catch him before Sam collapsed onto the ground. Dean was now panicking, that feeling only increasing when Sam started sobbing dejectedly. What was going through Sam's head to act like this? If only he could find that out somehow… He felt so helpless: his mate clearly needed help, needed Dean's support and love, but Dean was at a complete loss to know what to do.

Suddenly, as he pulled Sam closer, the boy tilted his head to the side, revealing his neck and pulse point. At the same time, Sam's hands tumbled down to his sides, his body completely relaxed and limp, only loud sobs breaking out of him. And Dean immediately understood what was going on.

"Oh, Sammy" he breathed. "I'm so sorry, beautiful." He tightened his hold and leaned close to Sam's ear. "Come back to me, love…"

Sam shivered from the breath tickling his neck then straightened out, burying his face into the crook of Dean's neck in shame. Tears trickled down Dean's skin, breaking a shudder out of the man. He waited for his mate to collect himself, shushing the desperate sobs and stroking the trembling back. When Sam settled down and pulled away to wipe his eyes, Dean cupped his cheek to make eye contact.

"I'm so sorry" he breathed again. Sam sniffed and nodded at his apology.

"It's just…" the boy began, "it feels like I don't know myself anymore. I have this… voice in my head and I can't chase it out of there… It's trying to control me… I feel like I'm going crazy…" A couple more tears made their way down his flushed cheeks but Dean lovingly wiped them away.

"I'm sorry for forcing you into this…" Dean said. Sam looked up at him with wide eyes. "I shouldn't have done that to you… I should've tried harder to lure you closer than to tame you so forcefully… But you can control it" he spoke, his voice hardening. Sam seemed a little taken aback by the change of tone. "It doesn't have to control you."

"I'm not strong enough…" Sam whispered, but Dean cut him off:

"Yes, you are. And you have an advantage."

"What?"

"You have help. I'm gonna do everything I can to help you through this" Sam's face crumpled, his emotions already gone haywire from the happenings. Those words made his heart overflow with love towards this genuine man. "Starting now" Dean finished, causing Sam to look up in surprise.

"Now? What…?" Sam began, but he choked on his words from what came next.

Dean leaned against the tree behind him, keeping eye contact, and slid his hands up above his head. Finally, with a last look of love and total trust, he turned his head away, revealing his weak-spot: the pulse point.

A rose-red fog filled Sam's mind at the – surprisingly arousing – picture in front of him. Dean's body was wracked with fine tremors, whether from lust, nervousness or fear he didn't know. He didn't care. The sun-kissed skin was pulling him in, closer and closer, until his lips touched it tenderly.

Dean jumped from the unfamiliar feeling. It was always him at the wheel, bringing Sam to pleasures the boy hadn't even known then. Being at the mercy of another person, especially a submissive was scary and unnatural for him… but also incredibly arousing. He should have noticed Sam's inner struggle with that new side and the instincts accompanying it sooner, not just to relieve Sam from the effort, but to get to know these feelings. They could have had some more fun like this by now.

His thoughts were interrupted by a whimper. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Sam holding his head, as if he was having a migraine – or an inner battle.

"Shhh, it's okay, Sammy" he shushed, hoping his voice was enough to sooth the struggle in his mate's mind. "Do what you want!" Soon enough, Sam's body relaxed then he lifted his head, nuzzling Dean's neck, taking a whiff of the man's scent.

Dean felt his own headache coming on. His dominant side roared in fury at the treatment a submissive dared to use on him. It demanded retribution, screamed at him to step up and take back the lead. It screamed _'HOW DARE YOU LET A BITCH TURN YOU INTO ONE?_' Was this how being a submissive feels like? Was this how Sam felt every day by Dean's side? Fighting those unknown instincts just to be himself?

Out of the blue, Sam grabbed him around the waist then shoved him down onto the ground. Dean slid a foot on the grass, shaken from the unexpected hostility. However, as he turned on his back and looked at Sam, who was just a looming shadow above him, the fire in the hazel green irises made him freeze. The pitch black, dilated pupils contained flames so hot, even Dean had trouble breathing through the heat. His dominant side hushed away, retreating to the background, suddenly curious of what the submissive will do to him.

Sam slowly lowered himself onto the ground and Dean, just an inch of air separating the two bodies. Dean's eyes roamed over the hardened features, only discovering signs of lust on the boyish look. The piercing gaze made him relax, stretching out on the grass, and turn his head away again, offering himself up. This time the change of status went without any inner argument. The young man above him – because he certainly wasn't a boy now – leaned closer and breathed in the pheromones that without a doubt were pouring out of Dean's heated body. Dean felt his dominant side seep out of him with every exhale, and he knew it was shutting off Sam's submissive instincts. Even this animalistic side of his wanted Sam to be happy, to be _free…_

A hand closed around his throat, not too tight, just enough to let him know who the dominant is. Nails dug into his skin, as his head was turned back towards his mate and demanding lips besieged his own. When a tongue probed for entrance, Dean opened up willingly, letting his lover ravage his mouth. The hand on his throat traveled up to his hair, gripping the short tresses hard and painfully, but Dean didn't even utter a whimper. The soft flesh roamed over his tongue and the roof of his mouth, before Sam leaned into him some more and seized him with everything he got. The two men's teeth clashed from the force of the kiss.

After a few minutes, Sam ripped his lips away from Dean's and attacked the man's neck with such fervor that he grazed his skin with his teeth. Dean's back arched off the ground when Sam began sucking a purple bruise onto his neck. His hand traveled up to Sam's shoulders, but the young man slammed them onto the ground with a deep growl. Sam entwined their fingers, keeping Dean's arms on the ground like that. When Dean felt two rows of teeth clamp down on his already sensitive skin, his hips flew off the ground, straight into Sam's groin. The flames of Hellfire fanned up between them ignited into almost unbearable levels, spitting live coals into the rest of their bodies. Dean's heart thrummed in his ears so loudly that he barely heard anything from his surroundings. After a moment, he realized that the heartbeat was that loud because he was hearing Sam's, too, in perfect synch with his. His blood boiled from lust and ecstasy at that recognition.

All of a sudden, he cried out in pleasure: a hand grasped him, raising the heat of the fire inside him tenfold. Another hand gripped his jaw, guiding his eyes to those flaming hazel ones.

"You're so fucking beautiful" Sam growled out, his voice deep and husky. Dean moaned wantonly, raising his hips up into that wonderful heat.

"Please, Sammy…" he gasped out. Sam chuckled, unknowingly – or perhaps knowingly? – bringing Dean closer to heaven.

"You better get this into your pretty little head" Sam continued, his voice still deep and husky and _so freaking fucked out_ that Dean almost lost it. "I can't be tamed."

"No, never…" Dean agreed instantly. He would agree to anything, just… "Please …"

"Beg for me" Sam ordered. Who knew that he could be so damned demanding?

"Please! I'm begging you! Please, just please!" Dean shouted, not able to take anymore. Sam chuckled again than crashed his lips to Dean, while squeezing the man to release. Dean slammed his head back and screamed into the darkening forest. His sight whitened out for a moment then everything swam back into place. Harsh pants broke out of him as he came back to Earth. He heard a drawn-out moan above him then heavy weight collapsed onto his chest. He realized that Sam reached his own release.

They lay there together, just trying to catch their breaths. Dean felt boneless, not just from the bliss he had luck to experience, but from the joy of being dominated, too. His arms sluggishly slid around Sam, who laid a hand on his rapidly beating heart.

"You okay?" Sam asked fearfully after they calmed down, looking up at Dean.

"I'm awesome" Dean sighed out with a drunken smile.

"I just don't know what's gotten into me" Sam continued. "I just wanted to be in control…"

"Oh, please, be in control as many times as you want" Dean spoke. Sam laughed but both of them heard the seriousness out of the man's voice.

"Thank you" Sam breathed, rising up onto his elbow to kiss his lover.

"You're welcome" Dean replied. "And thank you" he retorted with a smirk. Sam laughed again, but answered:

"You're welcome."

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, how was it? Was it hot? *wiggles eyebrows*<strong>

**Please, Read and Review, and help me improve where I need improvement. Especially with the end scene.  
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**See you soon (hopefully)!  
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	16. Author's Note

Hey, guys!

Chapter 15 was changed! It's now a new chapter of the story.

Have a good read,

HP/SPNLuver92


	17. Chapter 15

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC. Warnings:  
><strong>

**Angst, slight MPreg, SLASH (as always), gore, mentions and attempt of sexual harassment (nothing too serious...).  
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**Hey guys! This chappy is LONG (10 and a half pages). Hope you're happy. It has everything: angst, some humor and, thanks to our dear Sadie, violence!  
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**I hope you like the image to this story and LUTM. This is my very first Photoshop project. I'm not an artist, but I'm really proud of myself. I'm still getting the hang of it.  
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**There's a URL for Lorie in my profile. Don't forget to check it out!  
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**And finally, there's a poll in my profile for the story Jade. Check it out if you're interested!  
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**Alright! On to the chappy! And I can only say:  
><strong>

**BE PREPARED!**

**UPDATE: I'm going to concentrate on Jade and Differences In Love for now, since they have the most of popularity amongst you, Readers! BUT (and it's a BIG BUT) I'm going to work on my other stories, including this one, in the background. With this, hopefully I can provide with quicker updates, once the popularity returns to my other stories. Hope you don't mind my decision!  
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* * *

><p>"Are you okay?"<p>

"Yes… Just like two seconds ago."

The pair was walking through the forest back to the village, arms wrapped around each other's waist. Sam kept shooting sideways glances towards Dean, who was currently praying for some patience. The moment they began their walk back to the village, Sam kept asking if Dean was alright or if he was mad, and the most annoying: if he was sure.

"So you're not mad?" _'Here we go.'_ Dean thought, hearing the question.

"No" he replied with a sigh. "Of course not."

"Are you sure?" came the next one without missing a beat.

"Of course I'm sure" Dean said a bit exasperated. "I should know: it's _**me**_ who's not mad."

"Fine" Sam muttered, but Dean knew the boy wasn't satisfied.

"Sammy, I loved it. You saw it with your own eyes, unless it was your doppelganger." Sam let out an irritated huff. "I enjoyed it so much I want to do it again some time."

"Dean" Sam spoke up, stopping their walk and turning to his lover, "you don't have to do this. I just don't know what came over me. I've just wanted to control things for once. Everything's slipped out of my grasp and I've got scared. But it's passed…"

"So?" Dean asked confused, raising an eyebrow. "Does that have to mean that we can't do it again?" His question met with silence and a slack-jawed expression of shock from Sam. "What?" he asked.

"You really liked it?" Sam spoke, his voice full of incredulity.

"Wasn't me screaming into the trees proof enough?"

"But" Sam looked a little uncomfortable at the conversation. _'Tough, Sammy, you brought it up.'_ Dean thought with an inward eye roll. "Usually it's you in control…"

"Sometimes it's great to give that to someone I trust" Dean spoke firmly. Sam smiled at him shyly, clearly ecstatic that Dean trusted him this much. Feeling the urge to feel that adorable smile against his lips, Dean gripped Sam's T-shirt and pulled the boy in. However, as he did that, he bent his knees a little, so that Sam has to lean down to reach him. Following instincts, Sam did just that, meanwhile wrapping a strong arm around Dean's waist, much to the older man's pleasure. Dean cupped Sam's cheek tenderly, but it was the boy he controlled the kiss.

After a few seconds, their lips separated and Dean let out a content little sigh, not noticing Sam's smug smirk.

"God, I love you" Dean whispered, almost purring, leaning his head onto Sam's strong shoulder. Sam pressed a kiss onto his forehead and they stood there for a minute to get themselves together. At last, they continued their way back to the village.

"I still feel like I owe you" Sam spoke a little uncertainly.

"If you really want to make up for it, I have an idea" Dean stopping again. When Sam looked at him curiously, he smirked. "A strip tease."

"Come again?" Sam asked, blinking a couple of times.

"A strip tease" Dean repeated. "If you do a strip tease, you're officially off the hook. How does that sound?" The man couldn't help but lick his lips hungrily, as he pictured his beautiful lover swaying to an erotic song.

"I… I'll take a raincheck" Sam stuttered out, not knowing what to think and dazed from the wolfish gaze boring into him and mentally stripping him already. Dean nodded and they carried on walking.

"I like you in control, though" Sam stated quietly. "I don't want that to change."

"So, you like being bottom. Good to know" Dean replied, causing Sam to promptly choke on air. Dean laughed and, as soon as he got his breath back, Sam joined in. In that good mood, they stepped out of the forest.

"Hey, guys" a soft female voice greeted them. Turning in its way, Sam recognized the blonde girl from before. He felt embarrassed about his panic attack right in front of her.

"Hello there, Lorie" Dean answered cheerfully. Sam's eyes widened as he looked her over.

The petite girl was probably at the same height as Julia and looked no more than eighteen. Her long blonde hair reached the middle of her back in straight tresses, framing a round face and wide, crystal-blue eyes. Her beautiful face was covered in freckles, giving her a slightly childish look. Her full lips were in a bright, serene smile. She was wearing a white tank top and faded jeans.

"Everything okay now?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah" Dean said, tightening his hold around Sam's waist for a moment and the boys smiled at each other. "I think we're finally alright."

"That's great to hear" Lorie's smile brightened if that was possible, before being replaced by a serious look. "There's someone here to see you." Sam noticed the worried look in Dean's eyes. "Or more like Sam."

"Me?" Sam spoke up in surprise. "Who would wanna see me? No one knows where I am."

"They're at the main house" Lorie added. Dean finally nodded and the three of them walked back to greet the guest. As they went through the house and stepped out onto the back porch, Sam stiffened in fear. Dean's arm tightened even more around him and he felt himself being pulled backwards a little.

Wolves. At least eight of them. Sam recognized them from the pack that attacked him. And they were staring right at him.

"They're only here to talk" Lorie said calmly. As Sam looked at her, he caught Dean glowering at the wolves, daring them to attack again.

One wolf, a grey one, probably the leader, stepped forward cautiously, keeping its tail tucked between its back legs and its ears flattened in a sign of submission.

"Lupe initiated this meeting" Lorie commented, seemingly the translator between the two sides. "She wanted to speak with you, Sam, about what happened in the forest."

Sam swallowed as the painful memory resurfaced in his mind, but seeing the pleading look in the wolf's big brown eyes, he nodded shakily. At that, the wolf, Lupe, straightened up still doing everything not to look harmful, and began growling and whimpering. Lorie concentrated on the noises Lupe was making and Sam watched the two a little bewildered. When Lupe finished, she looked at Lorie.

"She wants to express her deepest apologies in the name of the whole pack" Lorie translated. "She wants you to know that they would never hurt a human being, especially the mate of a child of Matron Moon."

Sam's eyes were wide like saucers by now, hearing the words. A wolf wants to apologize to him? If Sam wouldn't have been living with shapeshifters for a while now, he would check himself into a mental hospital. During his shock, Lupe continued to groan and growl.

"Lorie is the only one, who can speak with the normal wolves" Dean whispered hurriedly into Sam's ears, seeing the baffled expression on his lover's face. "They communicate through telepathy."

"She says" Lorie spoke again, when Lupe finished, "that if she'd had the power to stop that one wolf to attack you, she would've stopped him."

"Then why couldn't she do it?" Sam asked still a bit frightened. Lorie turned back to Lupe, who looked her in the eye. After a couple seconds of silence, Lupe began "talking" again.

"She says: that wolf was a stray and they took him in. He was infected, though, with some kind of venom. They think he was bitten." Sam looked positively terrified at that, blood flooding out of his cheeks, leaving deathly pale skin behind. "That venom only affected normal wolves like him" Lorie reassured him quickly and by the tone of the next groans, Lupe was doing the same. "She says he went crazy. He attacked some of the pack, luckily no one was bitten. On that day" Lorie went on as Lupe began groaning and whimpering again, "when he caught your scent, he went insane with hunger and threatened to snap everyone's throat if they didn't help."

"Was that why they didn't attack me?" Sam asked, his throat closing up in anxiety. "Only that crazy one?" Lupe nodded awkwardly, when Lorie forwarded the question.

"They want to offer themselves up" Lorie spoke again, "to help you in any way they can to compensate for what happened to you."

"Tell them thank you" Sam spoke, feeling touched by the wolves' offer. "I appreciate it."

When Lorie translated that, the wolves bowed their heads to them and to Sam, as well, before turning around and starting their way to the forest, disappearing amongst the trunks one by one. Sam lifted a hand to his forehead, suddenly feeling his mind get heavier with the events.

"You okay, Sammy?" Dean asked worriedly, holding him tenderly.

"I'm tired" Sam breathed, barely keeping his tears of exhaustion in place. As he leaned into Dean, the older man lifted him up bridal style and took him inside. Sam clung to his lover until he fell asleep, even when he felt the softness of the mattress underneath his worn-out body. He knew he was going to get a peaceful sleep with a gentle embrace around him and the thrum of a heartbeat in his ear.

* * *

><p>Sam was watching the peaceful expression on his lover's face, as morning came. He'd been awake for a while, just reveling in the silence and the lightness of his mind. Finally, finally he felt alive again. Felt himself again. With Dean's love and care, he'd overcome the obstacles caused by the attack and the revelations. He was still wary about the status change that occurred the previous day in the forest. No matter what Dean said, he was afraid that his rebellion will kick him in the ass later on.<p>

Reaching a hand out, he caressed Dean's cheek lightly, not wanting to wake this wonderful person from his finally restful sleep. He couldn't help but smile in satisfaction, remembering the screams that tore out from the writhing body underneath him. Although his mind was swallowed up by the fog of lust, he remembered every second of their 'interlude'. He had to agree, he wouldn't mind another round of that in the future…

_'Don't get used to it!'_ came a booming voice from the back of his mind. It hurt his ears a little, causing him to whimper. _'You're a submissive, your role is submission!'_

_**But I'm still human,**_ he argued with the voice desperately. _**I'm not even changed yet!**_

_'That is why you got off the hook so many times already' _the voice answered, although the tone was much gentler now. It was a little familiar…

"Sammy?" Dean's worried call cut through the inner argument. "What's wrong?"

"So loud…" Sam whimpered, covering his ears. He felt Dean's strong arms embrace him and one hand soothingly stroke his back.

"Don't forget, Sammy!" Dean spoke in a firm tone. "You can control it. It doesn't have to control you." As the man pressed a kiss onto his locks, Sam felt the urge to relax and turn his head away, letting the dominant control him, but he fought it. He gasped as the instinct almost tore him up inside, and he fisted his locks in agony. When the pain of fighting back reached its peak and Sam was ready to give up, a shock of something like electricity ran through him before the urge disappeared completely. Sam panted at the ache left behind in his whole body and exhaustion pulled on his mind. "Sammy?" came Dean's worried voice.

"M'kay" Sam slurred. As he was gently pushed away, he blinked up at Dean owlishly.

"Why don't you rest a little?" Dean asked, stroking Sam's bangs out of his eyes. Sam nodded and scooted back to lay his head onto the pillow, grimacing as every inch of his body flared up in pain from his movements. As soon as he closed his eyes, he drifted away, only followed by a loving kiss on his temple.

* * *

><p><em>Silence weighed down on his eardrums, almost popping them… The pain left his body, leaving him alert and full of strength… As he opened his eyes, he had to blink a few times when nothing changed… Blackness surrounded him…<em>

_ Sam slowly pushed himself up, his skin making contact with something solid he couldn't see, which, at the same time, wasn't really there… As he looked around, shaking his head, he couldn't make out anything, so when he looked down on his body, he jerked in surprise at the light colors of his clothes. He reached out tentatively, not knowing if this was real or just a really trippy dream. When his fingers touched soft cotton, he frowned in confusion. So he was real, his clothes were real – thank God –, but this place wasn't… Or was it?_

_ "It's in your head" came the gentle voice. He jumped then looked around. No one. Checking it again, the result was the same. There wasn't a single soul in this place, except himself. He wiped at his face with a sigh. What the hell was going on? The voice was familiar but from the strange echo, it seemed to come from everywhere. He was going crazy…_

_ "No, you're not" came the voice again, but this time from a specific direction. Sam whirled around – and his jaw dropped from astonishment._

_ The owner of the voice was himself, standing a few feet away from him. But… it wasn't really himself, either. Sam slowly got to his feet and approached the person. As he got closer, the picture got clearer._

_ It was definitely him. He would recognize his own face from anywhere, since he saw it in the mirror nearly every day. However, there were so many differences from what he knew he looked like and the person standing in front of him. His floppy locks were grown out, reaching his waist, and they were arranged in beautiful waves. They hugged a frame much slimmer and leaner than his own: he had an hourglass-shape, just like a woman. The nails on the long, delicate fingers were actually claws, but they made his hands look more feminine than animalistic. As he looked himself in the eyes, his own widened: amber orbs glowed under the brown bangs._

_ "Who…" Sam started. At his pause, he saw his eyebrow disappear in curiosity. "What are you?" The other Sam laughed, looking at him almost endearingly. As he smiled, Sam noticed the slightly elongated canines._

_ "I'm the one you always fight with" the other Sam answered, sadness pouring off of him._

_ "You mean…"_

_ "The parasite in your heart? Yes." Sam felt guilty from the crestfallen expression on his own face. This person, this alternate version of himself… was his submissive side._

_ "I'm dreaming" he said, his tone suggesting a question. The other Sam nodded._

_ "We need to talk" he said. Sam cocked his head in confusion, but before he could ask a question, the blackness melted into the clearing where he and Dean spent their late afternoon the previous day. The other Sam crossed his arms then turned away to pace leisurely up and down. Sam just watched him, waiting for him to speak._

_ "I don't want to fight" Dream Sam spoke after a couple minutes. Sam huffed in disbelief. "I really don't" Dream Sam stopped and turned to him. "But I can't help it, if you're making this harder."_

_ "I'm not making anything harder" Sam replied heatedly. "I just want to live MY life. But thanks to you, I can't even have control over my own body."_

_ Dream Sam sighed, like he'd heard this a million times. He had to since he 'lived' in Sam._

_ "It's not my fault you can't keep your control" he spoke quietly._

_ "So it's mine, right?" Sam sneered._

_ "Yes" Dream Sam cried out exasperated. "If you would just get your head out of your ass and listen to yourself…"_

_ "Everything slipped out of my hold ever since you appeared in me!" Sam shouted angrily._

_ "We wouldn't have this conversation, if you'd just accept it!" Dream Sam interrupted, his eyes glinting from annoyance._

_ "What the hell are you talking about?" Sam asked confusion joining his fury._

_ "But you know what's fucked up?" Dream Sam continued like Sam hadn't even spoken. "You can't even accept the fact that you accepted it!"_

_ "WHAT?" Sam cried out, cutting off the other one's words._

_ "Your new life with Dean" Dream Sam answered after a minute. "You just can't see that you want to be with him. That you want to settle down with him, have a family…"_

_ "What makes you think that I want it?" Sam asked, a little scared from the answer._

_ "I'm proof of that" Dream Sam answered quietly, almost shyly. "Once, in the very beginning, I looked just like you. But the more you got involved with this life the more I changed. It couldn't have happened, though, without you wanting it." As Dream Sam spoke, Sam buried his face in his hands, trying to digest everything he heard. "Why are you fighting this? I can feel it now, too, right at this moment."_

_ "It's just too fast" Sam choked out, a lump forming in his throat. "I need to let it sink in, but everything is revealed so fast… It's not natural…"_

_ "For a human mind, yes" Dream Sam spoke sympathetically. "It's a lot to take in. But you need to open your mind even more. It can get easier… Do you love Dean?" The question came so out of the blue, Sam's head almost flew off of his neck, when he snapped it up._

_ "Of course, how can you ask…?"_

_ "Then why are you fighting against a life with him?" Dream Sam continued. "Why are you fighting against being eternally bonded to him? Having his children…?"_

_ "Whom I have to carry?" Sam shuddered as he spoke. "Having the option to… to…" he swallowed, "it's not natural… It's too much to take in…"_

_ "But you already did" Dream Sam spoke, stepping in front of Sam. Sam looked up with a startle and a confused frown. Dream Sam tenderly grasped Sam's hand and guided it towards himself. Smoothing the long fingers and big palm onto his stomach, he gauged the other's reaction._

_ Sam's eyes widened to saucers. Expecting hard muscles of a six-pack under the other Sam's shirt, he felt the warm curve of soft flesh instead. Feeling a tremble start up and tears gathering in his eyes, he was caught off guard by the soft nudge under his hand. Judging by the quick glance down, Dream Sam was surprised, as well, by that._

_ "You see?" Dream Sam whispered as he looked Sam in the eye, cupping the other's cheek tenderly. "You couldn't be feeling this if you don't want it." Sam's face crumpled as the words cut into his heart. He felt himself be pulled into a hug, but his hand stayed on the bump. As his tears escaped from his eyes, they soaked the soft shirt Dream Sam was wearing._

_ After a couple of minutes, Sam gathered himself together, wiping his face._

_ "I… I need to think…" he spoke. Now his diverting words were met by an understanding smile, not an annoyed look. "I just…"_

_ "… have this other life" Dream Sam finished for him. "And don't worry! I can see the change in you. I'll try not to bother you so much, but I can't promise anything."_

_ "Thanks" Sam whispered. The clearing melted away around them then Dream Sam was slowly swallowed up by the darkness. The last thing Sam saw was the gentle, content glint of amber orbs, before he opened his eyes._

* * *

><p>Sam startled awake, finding himself in the bedroom he and Dean occupied. He felt the tears run down his temples, so he tried to wipe them away. He knew he was alone: Dean must have gone downstairs. The sun was higher up in the sky, so it must be well into the morning by now.<p>

His head was somewhat clearer and the pain from his fight before the dream had dissipated. He still felt confused, everything a slightly jumbled mess inside. However, the only thing he registered was the warmth surrounding his hand. He remembered the soft mound under it and knew now that he made peace with himself in this topic. His heart lurched, sending a wave of happiness throughout his body, attempting to suppress the voice inside his head that was still screaming at him how unnatural all this is.

Not able to bear the last battles of his inner struggle, he curled up on his side, his back to the door, and burrowing himself into his blanket, he broke down into tears and loud sobs. Calming waves floated through his body, feeling their source in his heart and knew his submissive side was trying to help him. Embracing the emotions surrounding him, he let them push out his doubts and fears and disbelief from his mind in the form of tears, cries and gasps. During all of this he vaguely felt arms wrapping around him and warmth molding into his back, the mattress behind him sinking slightly from the additional weight.

For the first time in this whole mess, despite the difficulty to breath, Sam felt at ease and at peace.

* * *

><p>"So you're saying that you had a dream with your submissive side?"<p>

Sam nodded, feeling slightly self-conscious by the wide, forest-green eyes of Julia. They were sitting at the kitchen table, Sam drinking some juice and playing with his lunch. He wasn't really hungry, but he took the occasional bite from time to time. Dean was sitting next to him, one arm draped around Sam's waist, his emerald gaze watching his mate worriedly. After Sam had calmed down, he realized that Dean had been the one lying with him. Apparently, the man had heard one of his louder sobs when he was outside and had hurried up to him to help in any way he could. Sam appreciated it and the constant contact Dean kept up since then.

Sam had insisted to meet with Julia, only then telling everything to them about his dream and his breakdown. They had listened to him patiently, only their wide, surprised eyes showing some reaction. Sam, however, left the last bit out, his emotions on the topic a bit too raw to bring it up. His palm was still a little warm, keeping his memories of the feeling alive. When a soothing kiss landed on his temple, he realized that he started trembling. Before Dean could lean away, Sam burrowed himself into the man's side.

"I love you" he breathed, feeling it important to say.

"I love you, too" Dean answered. "No matter what, I'll always love you." Sam closed his eyes. Dean now knew about the conflict in his mind and was supportive as always. Despite the tight hold around him, Sam was sure if it came to that and if Sam wanted it, Dean would let him go in a heartbeat. Sam didn't know what he wanted to choose: live with Dean or continue living his normal life. However, the knowledge that he had a chance to make his own decision was everything he wished for, all the control he needed to hold onto.

As these troubling thoughts flowed through his mind, his heart was aching slightly. He knew if his submissive side would stand next to him, he would be whining in pain. It wasn't that strong, though, which could mean that it agreed with him.

"We still have time" Sam spoke quietly, "right?"

"I have all the time in the world" Dean said, just like on every occasion this came up. "Don't you worry about that, beautiful!"

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><p>A couple of days went by since Sam faced his other side. Everything was settling down and Sam quite enjoyed the days he spent with Julia and her family. On one dinner, Bryan and Lorie visited them and Sam now understood what Dean had meant about 'slobber over your girlfriend'. If the two weren't eating, they were glued to each other's mouth. Sam just grinned at the happy couple, enjoying the company of his own lover.<p>

Caleb occasionally joined them, as well, but his work and other businesses called him away a few times. During the meals which he could attend to, Sam was always engrossed with the topics they were discussing. Caleb was such an enthusiastic character that he made everything seem enjoyable. They had quite a few laughs about some of his jokes he cracked during meals.

Since Sam's breakdown, Julia became more mothering to him than ever before. Sam knew he gave quite a fright to everyone with his panic attacks, so he endured the hovering and soaked up the attention. It felt good, though, making him remember the shreds of his memories about Mary and the few intact ones about Aunt Karen.

Dean, as always, was perfect. He showered Sam with love and care, and in private, with kisses and hickeys. Sam loved the latter ones the most. Ever since their status change in the forest, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Dean took every opportunity to pleasure Sam, which the boy returned with everything he got. They were still keeping themselves to make-out sessions, mostly because Sam wanted to wait, but Dean had told him that it was even dangerous for them to do anything like that. If Sam would be bitten without the power of the full moon, he would be condemned to a fate no one would wish for anyone, not even for their enemies.

So, Sam was getting accustomed to the life in the village. Seeing all the love surrounding this little family – or as Bryan and Caleb calls it: the pack –, he felt more and more comfortable about joining them. And every time he looked at Dean, he knew he wants to live with him forever… And he wouldn't mind having a family with him…

* * *

><p>Sam shut the engine of the Impala off then climbed out. He'd volunteered to a quick errand into the nearest town, where the village gets the supplies from. It was already dark outside, the moon shining down on the world, only starting to decrease. Sam laughed as the wolves' night on the full moon came forward in his mind. All of them had been so adorable mock-wrestling with each other, or trying to catch the fireflies. Sam had been a little surprised when the average wolves and even some foxes had joined the night's activities. But all the while, he'd been accompanied by Dean, who had enjoyed the occasional belly rubs or just guarded Sam.<p>

Sam grabbed the bags of groceries from the backseat and shutting the door with his hip, he made his way to the house. Balancing the heavy bags on his lifted leg, he quickly opened the door, before he could lose his balance. No one was inside, but he knew Dean will come back soon. Putting the bags onto the floor close to the entrance door to be noticed, he walked into the living room – and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hello, Sam."

Caleb was sitting in an armchair that was turned to face the room's entrance. He was slouching with a smug expression on his face, his chin resting in his palm. His light-green eyes roamed over Sam, taking in the sight. Sam shuddered at the strong gaze, feeling very uneasy. Something was wrong…

"I was waiting for you" Caleb said standing up slowly. He had an entire attire in black on that screamed _'You're gonna regret this night!'_

"What do you want?" Sam spoke finally, his voice guarded. When Caleb stepped closer, Sam took a step back.

"You shouldn't be here alone" Caleb smirked. "Something might happen…"

As Sam took another step back, the back of his leg hit something. Glancing down instinctively was a big mistake.

His upper arm was grabbed so tightly, he had to hiss. He resisted when Caleb began pulling him closer, but the man gripped the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. As the deep inhale reached his ears, Sam shuddered in disgust.

"So innocent…" Caleb whispered, rubbing his nose into Sam's neck. "Untouched… Perfect…" the last word came out as a growl. Sam's eyes widened and he instantly began fighting the man's hold on him. The hand on his shirt flew up into his hair, gripping it tightly and a tongue licked a stripe up his neck. Sam ripped the hand off of his hair, not caring about the few hairs that were torn out with it, then he shoved the man away. The grip on his upper arm slipped and he quickly escaped out of it, dashing up the stairs, taking three at a time.

Ripping the bedroom door open, he sighed in relief when he locked it behind himself. Wedging himself into a corner, he fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dean. He thanked every deity that Dean answered almost instantly:

"Hey, beautiful."

"Dean, come back, please!" Sam begged into the phone, his voice shaking from terror.

"What is it? What's going on?" Sam could've cried as he heard Dean begin walking somewhere hurriedly.

"I don't know, I was attacked and he's still here, he can find me any minute, I need you, please, hurry back, I'm so scared…"

"Alright, Sammy" Dean interrupted quickly, just as a car door slammed shut. "I'll be home soon. Try to keep him away from you!"

Before Sam could've answered, a loud thud shook the door, breaking a cry out of Sam.

"Oh, God, Dean" Sam sobbed into the phone, tears breaking free as his terror grew and grew… "Please, hurry, he's-"

Another crash reverberated in the room, but this was followed by a tremble of the floor. As Sam looked up, he saw the door on the ground, Caleb standing on it with a triumphant grin on his face. His light green eyes pinned onto Sam. They were filled with such malice and – Sam felt nauseous – lust that they almost burnt the clothes off of Sam.

Sam jumped up and tried to run, somewhere, anywhere, just away, but Caleb rushed to him and caught him by his waist. The force of his lunge knocked the phone out of Sam's hand and the both of them fell onto the floor. He tried to wrestle out of Caleb's steel-like hold, crying out in fear.

Suddenly, Caleb grabbed Sam's hair and began heaving the young man up by that. Sam screamed in pain, but he was soon on his feet and in Caleb's grip. He bucked and struggled to get free, but his arms were pinned down. He was slowly dragged to the bed and thrown onto it so hard that he hit his head in one of the wooden slats under the mattress.

He instantly tried to crawl away, but Caleb turned him around and straddled him. The man grabbed Sam's flailing arms by the wrists with one hand, while the other gripped Sam's jaw tightly.

"So feisty…" Caleb growled in pleasure. "I like that…"

Sam shook his head to dislodge the man's hold on him and wriggled around to free himself. Caleb, though, just leaned closer, at the same time leaning hard onto Sam's wrists, who cried out in pain.

"You're so beautiful" Caleb whispered with a husky growl. "Just fucking gorgeous…"

"No!" Sam cried out, not stopping his struggling. "Please, no! Let me go!" he sobbed out a scream as Caleb licked his neck again, this time scraping his teeth on the goose-bumped skin. The man's free hand slowly wandered down Sam's chest, eliciting a disgusted shiver from Sam, who tried to pull away from his touch. As the hand came closer to Sam's groin, the young man freed one hand from Caleb's hold and clawed at the other's face, blood welling up in the scratches. Caleb growled in anger and backhanded Sam. The young man cried out again, the blood welling up in his mouth spurted out from the force of the blow, splattering the pillows and the cover.

As Caleb started to lean down again, Sam renewed his struggles, not letting this psychopath do anything to him and praying for Dean to come back. Since Caleb sat up to hit Sam, the young man used this opportunity to try and clamber away. Caleb grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked on it, but the material was just ripped apart, leaving Sam in his T-shirt. He heard Caleb chuckle as steel-hard grips yanked him back, the man leaning down again.

"Like a wild steed" Caleb whispered between harsh pants. Sam sobbed when the man's breath landed on his cheek. "So much fun to break in…" Ice-cold fingers slipped under Sam's T-shirt, caressing the young man's stomach. Sam sobbed out a scream again, hoping someone would hear it. Tears ran freely down his face, soaking the pillow under his head. His hair was now sticking onto his damp skin. He knew he was tiring out. "But the fun only lasts so far…" Caleb continued. "When it's over…" he leaned closer, right to Sam's ear, "they're useless."

Sam's eyes widened. This man wants to rape him then throw him away! Or maybe… _kill him!_ He continued his struggles with renewed strength. He tried to hit the man, but his hands were held down again and his legs couldn't reach up to their destination. Caleb was sitting on his thighs to hold them down. He thought of everything.

Caleb's eyes suddenly flashed in an eerily light blue color, even lighter than Bryan's eyes. Sam knew the reason for that: during his struggling, one of his legs brushed a hard length. He held his gag back, but he began outright sobbing. Caleb leaned down again and licked at his neck. Sam bucked again with a scream.

"NO!" he screamed in terror. "LET ME GO! GET OFF OF ME! PLEASE! NOOO!"

Just as the echoes of his last scream started up, a body slammed into Caleb and they tumbled off of Sam. The crash of the window was almost drowned out by Sam's bloodcurdling scream of pain, before he sank into darkness.

* * *

><p>Two bodies fell through the window, one of them beginning to twist and grow in the air, the shards of glass and splinters of wood raining down on them. They landed with a huge thud on the ground. As Caleb jumped onto his feet, a snarl on his lips, he froze in horror at the sight in front of him.<p>

A huge, blonde wolf with dangerously flashing emerald eyes was standing in front of him. Its mouth was pulled back in a snarl, a deep, menacing growl flowing out of his lungs, drowning the man with the flood of only one emotion: _killkillKILL!_

"No…" Caleb breathed, recognition filling his eyes.

Before he had a chance to move, the wolf pounced on him, its aim accurate. His scream was cut off, leaving only gurgling behind as a twisted echo. The only sound among the houses was the growls of the animal, the ripping of flesh and crunch of the bones.

A minute later, silence filled the air. The wolf was puffing out harsh, growling breaths as it tried to calm down. Its muzzle and fur was covered in blood, its emerald gaze was pinned onto the pile of bloody chunks in the grass, the only trace of what happened. After a few seconds the wolf's body began shrinking and soon a man was standing in its place, glaring at the same spot.

Dean spat onto the pile, before hurrying inside, he grabbed his discarded shirt and wiped the blood off of his face. He snatched his hastily thrown off jeans and slipped into them, ignoring the rest of his clothing. His mind was only on Sam, his mate, hoping he was alright…

But as he reached the doorway, his hopes were stomped into the ground. He fell against the doorframe, slowly slipping down onto the floor, just like his tears on his face.

Sam was lying on the mattress lifelessly, his beautiful hazel eyes closed. His face was deathly pale, almost as white as the pillow under his head. What attracted Dean's gaze instantly, though, was the growing puddle of blood under Sam's limp body, dripping onto the carpet drop by drop.

Dean's throat constricted with a gag, but he didn't throw up. Feeling the need to do something, he stumbled onto his feet and cautiously walked closer to the bed. His eyes sought out the source of the blood. It was easy to find: four deep, long vertical cuts darkened the soft tanned skin on the inside of each wrist, as the attacker's claws sailed through it when Dean lunged at him.

Dean kneeled up onto the bed, next to Sam's head, and stroked the damp, brown locks lovingly. He pressed a kiss onto the clammy, cold forehead, tears landing onto the peaceful features.

"I'm so sorry" he breathed, sobs wracking his body. He nuzzled the boy's forehead tenderly, his heart breaking into even tinier pieces. Pulling away, he cupped his lover's cheek, eyes roaming over the angelic face to memorize it until the dawn of his life.

One teardrop fell onto Sam's eyelid…

_Which fluttered._

Dean's breath halted, when he saw that.

"Sammy?" he breathed, his voice full of hope.

Sam's eyelids fluttered again, and the tiniest of moans broke through the closed lips.

Dean immediately called an ambulance, blessing his mind that he got his jeans on with the phone in its pocket.

"Hold on, Sammy" he whispered brokenly after he made the call, searching for a pulse. He sobbed in relief as he found one, although it was weakening with every passing minute. He just prayed the ambulance would arrive in time to save his mate.

* * *

><p>The waiting room of the hospital wasn't that crowded this night. Dean was sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs, twisting his fingers in impatience and worry. Although it was still dark outside, it was hours ago, when the ambulance had arrived with shrieking sirens in front of the house. After the doctors had rushed Sam into the ER, The police had arrived and asked Dean what'd happened. Dean quickly altered the happenings, telling them that he'd gotten a phone call from Sam that someone had attacked him in their home. He'd told them that when he'd arrived he'd lunged at the attacker to get him off of Sam and they had fallen through the window. He'd said that the attacker had escaped.<p>

Now, he was waiting for someone to come and inform him about Sam's condition. He couldn't believe how fast the events had gone down. It took Dean less than the usual ten minutes to get back from the town to the village and Sam almost died. Dean's going to take care of Sam, not even leaving his side for a second. _Just don't take him away from me…_

"Mr. Winchester?" a voice called out. Dean snapped his head up. An elderly man in the usual white coat was looking around the room's few occupants. Dean hastily jumped up and almost ran to the doctor.

"How is he? Is he alive?" Dean started but the doctor held up a hand.

"Are you Dean?" he asked instead. Dean nodded a little confused. "Normally we would only allow relatives in" the man said, "but when the young man woke up he asked for a Dean. I'm guessing it's you."

"So, he's alive?" Dean breathed, tears slipping down his cheeks. This seemed to soften the doctor's hard exterior even more, because he nodded and waved for him to follow him.

"He's in shock and he lost a lot of blood" the doctor explained. "The attack also traumatized him, so I would appreciate it if you didn't agitate him."

"Yes, sir" Dean answered almost automatically.

"We're going to keep him under strict observation because of the blood loss. He had a transfusion and there are already signs of improvement. However, he needs rest and plenty of fluids."

During the explanation they arrived at Sam's room. Dean was scared what would await him inside. The doctor must have noticed his trouble, because he squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before leaving him alone. Dean took a deep breath and opened the door.

Sam lay in the middle of the bed, looking like death warmed over. He looked so small despite his height, his face just a shade darker than the sheets. Next to the bed were some kind of machines, Dean only recognized the heart monitor beeping in a steady rhythm. Both of Sam's hands were wrapped in gauze tightly, protecting the stitches that Dean was sure were under them. An IV was stuck into Sam's arm and a blood bag was hanging on a metal rack. Dean shuddered, remembering a similar scene from before.

Walking closer, he saw that Sam was sleeping. Trying not to wake him, he caressed the pale cheek with the tip of his index finger. Sam's eyes fluttered at his touch then opened up with a faint moan. Tears spilled over in the beautiful hazel-green eyes, when they landed on him.

"Dean?" Sam croaked out. Like it was a sign, Dean cradled Sam's face in his hands tenderly and flooded the dear features with loving kisses, ignoring the taste of salt on his lips.

"You're okay" Dean whispered. "Everything's okay, you're alive, I love you, I'm so proud of you…" Words of encouragement streamed out of Dean's mouth, the words eventually jumbling up, but that didn't matter. Sam shed his tears of relief just hearing the voice of his mate, the love of his life.

Eventually Sam fell asleep, exhausted from the happenings and the blood loss. Dean dug his phone out of his pocket. There was one more thing to arrange.

"Dean?" came Julia's voice. "Is everything okay?"

"I need you to burn a body" Dean spoke in a low, indifferent voice.

"A body?" Julia asked in disbelief. "Who?"

"Caleb" Dean growled.

"What? Caleb? But that's impossible…"

"Yeah? Well, tell that to Sam when you come to the hospital…" Dean could barely restrain himself from shouting.

"No, Dean, you don't understand" Julia's shocked voice made Dean pause. Then his body froze at the next words:

"Caleb is right here with me."

_TBC_

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><p><strong>DUNDUNDUNNNN! :D<strong>

***gasp* What is going on? You'll see in the next chapter! *Sadie purrs delightedly*  
><strong>

**Please, Read and Review! And like I said before, I'm not a doctor.  
><strong>

**See you in the next chapter!  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 16

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!  
><strong>

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC, SLASH (very minor).**

**Hey guys!**

**I know I said I will concentrate on Jade and Differences In Love, but I couldn't help but upload this. It's not THAT much but I hope it's enough for now. I'm still traumatizing Sam in here, but that's not gonna last too much longer.**

**Hope you'll enjoy this chappy! Have fun reading it!**

* * *

><p>Dean was sitting next to Sam's hospital bed, his thoughts chasing each other around in his head. He had one hand on Sam's, holding the lax fingers gently, caressing the pale skin absentmindedly. The sun was slowly ascending the sky, just barely peeking over the horizon.<p>

What was going on? First a crazed wolf, now this? When will they ever catch a break? Dean was surprised Sam's mind hadn't shattered after all this horror. Although, the way Sam whimpered Dean's name when he woke up and a couple of times in his sleep, that breaking point might as well have arrived. The boy hadn't spoken anything else, only 'Dean…'

And what is this about the attacker? Dean saw with his own eyes that it was Caleb. He even had the intention to kill him, no matter how close they were to each other. And now Julia tells him that Caleb is alive! Hell, he was with his sister the whole night! Was this Fate's way to say he and Sam weren't meant to be? No, Dean shook his head in self-reprimand. He couldn't think that way. Maybe it was Fate's way to test how far they can go to keep each other, how strong their love is for each other. That had to be it!

Dean swiped at his face, trying to erase any trace of exhaustion. He had to be ready for the soon-to-be revelation: Julia said that they will come into the hospital to front Sam with Caleb. Dean tried to refuse, he outright forbade them to come here while Sam was in this fragile state, but that woman was even more stubborn than him. So, Dean hoped that everything will go smoothly and Dean will be able to keep Sam calm.

Dean caressed Sam's pale cheek, his throat closing up as he remembered how close he'd gotten to lose his angel. He took in the smooth features, the black circles around Sam's closed eyes that were moving rapidly under the lids and the trembling lips. Sam must be reliving the terrors of the night. Dean couldn't do anything, just sit there and guard the boy, but he was happy that Sam had his head turned towards him, like he knew even in his sleep where comfort was waiting for him when he'd wake up. Dean pressed a light kiss onto the boy's forehead, just as someone knocked on the door.

Dean sighed as he stood up and opened the door slightly. Through the gap he met with Julia's worried forest-green eyes and Caleb's horrified light-green gaze. Dean glanced back at Sam, who was sleeping undisturbed, then stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. Turning towards the newcomers, he frowned. Caleb seemed different now. There were small things with him that screamed at him as he remembered the attacker. The most outstanding difference was the days-old stubble on the young man's cheek, unlike the smooth skin of the attacker's face.

"How is he?" the question slipped out of Caleb's mouth, much to the others' surprise. Dean saw the worry and – strangely – guilt in his eyes.

"He'll live" Dean replied solemnly. "Thank God…" His added words were echoed by the siblings.

"But what happened?" Julia asked. Dean took a deep breath and told them everything he knew:

"I was in town, just finishing with work, when my phone rang. It was Sam… He was begging me to go home, because "he" wanted to hurt him. He was sobbing and pleading…" Dean had to stop to swallow and Julia gripped his upper arm. "I hurried back to the house as fast as I could, it took me about five minutes, maybe six. When I heard him scream, I took off all of my clothes, ready to change. By the time I ran up the stairs, that bastard was on him" Dean's voice turned into a growl. Only Julia's touch could keep him from wrecking everything he could reach for. "I saw red, so I jumped at him and we fell out the window. I…I killed him…" Dean stopped again, his eyes widening in horror. "I killed…"

"Shh, sweetie" Julia whispered, gathering the shaking man in her arms. "You did the right thing. That man wanted to take your lover away, he wanted to hurt him. He deserved it…"

Dean straightened up with a nod, still in shock from what he had done. With a dazed tone he continued:

"I hurried up to help Sam, wanting to comfort him, to hold him and make him forget about it, but…" Dean's tears now leaked out again, before he could stop them. "He was lying on the bed, blood everywhere… When I tackled that bastard, he ripped Sam's wrists open… The ambulance arrived just in time to save him…"

"Oh, God" Julia breathed and hugged Dean again, this time she being the one needing the comfort. Dean embraced her, but kept his eyes on Caleb. The man looked nauseated from what he heard and leant against the wall for support.

"I wouldn't…" he looked up, begging with his eyes for Dean to believe him. "I would never…"

"I know" Dean answered. "Thanks."

"Does Sam…?" Caleb couldn't finish the question, but Dean knew what he wanted to ask. He just nodded: Sam thinks it was Caleb.

"We have to change that" Julia spoke, pulling away. Dean looked unsure if bringing Caleb into one room with Sam was a good idea. "You just need to keep him calm" Julia turned to him. "Go inside and if he's awake, tell him we're here. If he's still sleeping, we'll come back later."

"Does Bryan know about this?" Dean asked, his hand already on the doorknob.

"He said he will come to visit later" Julia replied. Dean nodded then stepped into Sam's room. The boy was still sleeping, but just before Dean could turn around and send the others away, Sam began stirring. Dean hurriedly took a seat next to the bed, wanting to be the first thing Sam would see. Sam slowly opened his eyes and whimpered, shakily reaching out for him. Dean grabbed his hand instantly, kissing the fingers lovingly.

"Hey there, beautiful" he whispered, brushing Sam's bangs off his forehead.

"Dean…" Sam breathed out, shifting closer to him. Dean felt his heart break. How hard had Sam's mind shattered by now?

"There are a couple people here to see you" Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Is that okay?"

Sam didn't seem to comprehend what Dean just said, but after an agonizing minute he nodded. Dean kissed him as he stood up to let the others in.

Julia was the first to step in and she rushed to Sam immediately, throwing her arms around the boy. Sam returned the embrace a little afraid, but Dean knew that was and going to be a constant emotion, overruling every move the boy will make, every sound he will utter and everything else he will feel. At least for a while…

"I was so worried" Julia said tearfully, letting Dean sit back down, when she pulled away. Sam immediately reached out towards him and Dean gave his hand willingly. He will gladly be a constant comfort for the boy throughout this nightmare.

Dean swallowed as he heard Caleb step closer. He readied himself for the worst possible reaction ever – and wasn't disappointed.

When Sam's eyes landed on Caleb, they widened to saucers, almost popping out of their sockets. Dean jumped up as soon as Sam opened his mouth wide to scream, and covered it with his palm. The boy's terrified screams were muffled by Dean's hand, and the man winced when Sam began clawing at it fervently.

"Sam, shh, calm down" Dean whispered, trying to speak over the haze of fear surrounding Sam's mind and senses. He blessed the nurse that had been here earlier to take the blood bag away and the needle out of Sam's arm. "It's okay, Sammy, you're safe." Dean felt his heart quicken when the heart monitor started beeping faster and faster. "Sam, he's dead!" Dean exclaimed quickly and the effect was instantaneous.

Sam froze on the spot, his nails still digging into Dean's hand, breath rushing in and out of his lungs, his nostrils flaring with every exhale. Wide hazel-green eyes were pinned onto Caleb, the perfect picture of the moment, when a deer had met its predator.

"The one, who attacked you" Dean went on, heart aching from the hard stab of Sam's whimper, "he's dead. I… I killed him… This isn't him…"

Sam stayed still for a minute, not showing any sign of understanding then he glanced at Dean. Dean nodded, his eyes backing his words up: the love, the fear and the horror of the realization. Sam's body slowly unwound, and he tried pulling Dean's hand away, his moves slower now. Dean let him go, sitting back onto the chair with a sigh. He noticed the small red dot on one of Sam's gauze-covered wrists and made a note to inform the doctor later.

"Sam" Caleb spoke, not daring to move from his spot halfway towards the bed. "You have to know that I would never do this to you. You're too important to all of us."

"Eyes…" Sam croaked out, his still wide eyes not leaving Caleb. The young man tilted his head in confusion. "Show… Eyes…"

"Show him your eyes!" Dean translated, his own flashing in amber. Caleb nodded then closed his eyes to call forth his wolf. When he looked up, his eyes were the same shade of amber as Dean's. When Sam saw that, he relaxed even more, his limbs slackening.

"Tired…" Sam breathed out, eyes closing on their own accord. Dean kissed his forehead, stroking the brown locks tenderly and Sam's body settled down into sleep. Dean sighed in relief: this was the most Sam had talked. Maybe there was hope for them after all.

* * *

><p>Caleb watched the poor young man curled up in his bed. Sam was still sleeping, body trembling and whimpers escaping him. He sometimes jerked, but Caleb didn't dare to touch him, fearing a bad reaction from the boy. One of Sam's hands had fresh gauze on it. The doctor had already checked on Sam, changing the stitches that had ripped during the commotion. Caleb had seen Dean's relief, when the doctor acted gentle and patient towards the traumatized boy, keeping him calm.<p>

During the examination, Caleb noticed that Sam's reactions to the world around him had slowed some. His eyes had remained wide throughout the whole time, fear seemingly permanently carved into his features. He was only reaching for Dean, his mate, looking at him for guidance, for help, for comfort… For protection…

However, Dean wasn't here now. After Sam had fallen asleep, Dean and Julia had decided to take care of the body Dean had left behind. Caleb volunteered to keep an eye out on Sam, on the condition that he would keep his eyes amber when Sam woke up.

Caleb scrubbed a hand down his face tiredly. How could this happen? How could someone impersonate him? By Dean's description, the attacker didn't do a very good job of copying his looks. And why would they want to hurt Sam, who had done nothing wrong in his life? Of course, they couldn't get Sam's side of the story yet, so they couldn't put some sense into the happenings. Maybe they wouldn't even find out what had happened, not if Sam will be so wrecked mentally…

A knock cut into his musings and the silence of the room. As Caleb looked up, Bryan's boyish features appeared in the doorway, as he peeked around it. Finding only Caleb in there and seeing Sam sleeping in the bed, the man closed the door as quietly as possible before sneaking closer.

"How is he?" he asked, keeping his gaze on Sam's trembling form.

"Bad" Caleb replied with a sigh, turning back to their friend, who seemed to have calmed some – or maybe the images from last night gave him a break. He explained Sam's condition to Bryan in more details, the other man listening with a horrified expression. When he was done, they sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Bryan already getting a chair from the other side of the room.

"Poor guy" Bryan breathed, wanting to reach out to comfort Sam, but not daring, in case he woke up. "I can't believe he's still alive and alright after all this."

"I don't think he's alright" Caleb spoke barely above a whisper. "He's broken. The only question is: is it beyond repair or not?"

Before Bryan could reply, Sam shifted, eyelashes fluttering open slowly. Caleb quickly called his wolf forward, eyes changing to amber, not wanting to scare Sam. When the boy looked at him, the hazel-green orbs widened, as usual, at the sight of Caleb, but seeing the amber eyes he calmed down.

"Are you alright?" Caleb asked softly, leaning closer slightly. After Sam processed the question, he nodded, before seemingly changing his mind and shaking his head then settling for a shrug. His eyes remained as wide as saucers.

"Do you need something? Water maybe?" Caleb tried again and received a meek nod in answer. As he stood up to grab the jug of water, Sam's gaze slid over to Bryan. The young man had only one moment of reaction time, before Sam let out a cry and started to scramble away from Bryan, pushing himself into the headboard. Caleb jumped to Sam's side and shushed him, only catching a glimpse of shock on Bryan's face.

"EYES!" Sam screamed, his face sheer terror. "EYES! EYES!"

Caleb yanked Sam into his arms, hiding Sam's face away from Bryan. It seemed to work: after a few seconds Sam's screams died down giving way for harsh, loud sobs, as the boy's body leaned into Caleb's embrace, going limp.

"What…?" Caleb looked towards the choked voice and found Bryan's crushed expression in front of him.

"Maybe you should show him your eyes" Caleb suggested, still shaken from Sam's reaction. Bryan looked at him like he was insane, but did as he was told. When amber orbs were revealed, Caleb began coaxing Sam out of his hiding place. He endured the nails digging into his back, as Sam clutched at him desperately. After a lot of calming words and sweet nothings whispered into his ear, Sam turned his head, so he could peek out from Caleb's arms. Seeing Bryan's changed eyes, a rush of sobs wracked his body, as relief washed over him.

"It's okay, you're okay" Caleb sighed out, stroking Sam's back tenderly. It took long, long minutes to calm Sam down and after that the boy just watched the two of them warily from his reclined position, still cautious and afraid of a sudden attack.

In that moment Caleb's phone chirped, indicating a text message.

"Dean and Julia will be here soon" Caleb forwarded the message to Bryan. "They found out who did this to Sam."

"Who?" Bryan asked sharply, ready to defend his friend.

"It doesn't say" Caleb answered with an angry sigh. "Hope they're gonna tell us later."

"They better" Bryan growled, but the flames in his eyes died out when he turned back to Sam. The boy seemed to be contemplating something, before he reached out towards Bryan with a whimper. Bryan immediately took a seat next to Sam, who buried himself into his side, still watching Caleb with wide, wary eyes. Caleb felt devastated that Sam decided he was a bigger threat than Bryan. He wasn't surprised, since the attacker was his look-alike, but that knowledge didn't help with the hurt. But he couldn't wallow in that now.

They just had to wait for Dean and Julia to give them the details about their findings, so they could start to hunt other possible attackers down.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile…<em>

"Why don't you go inside?" Julia asked Dean, when she saw the disgust and horror in the man's eyes. "I can take care of it."

The two were standing next to the house, the gaping hole on the wall of the first floor yawning darkly above them. Only the remains of a frame and glasses on the grass indicated that there was a window there once. The mound of bloody chunks was still where Dean had left it after tearing the attacker apart. At Julia's feet stood a can of salt, lighter fluid and matches on the top of the can. Dean had been confused when the girl asked for salt, but he guessed it was some kind of a cleansing.

Dean felt nauseous just looking at the pile in front of them. Flashes of last night danced in front of his eyes, all of them showing what he had done. It was like a series of pictures in red lighting… Like pictures of a twisted, bizarre photo shoot…

"Dean?" Julia's gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned his gaze away from the remains and onto the girl's worried features. "You okay, sweetie?"

"Y-Yeah" he swallowed, nodding uncertainly. "I'll just… go inside…"

"Alright" Julia stroked Dean's shoulder in understanding before the man made his way back to the entrance and disappearing from sight.

Dean swallowed against a gag when he heard the whoosh of flames after he sat down in the living room. He closed his eyes, trying to forget all this mess, or at least calm his thoughts before returning to his mate in the hospital.

How could this happen? Why would anyone want to hurt Sam? Nobody knew that the boy was living here for quite a while, except the village residents and the wolves of the forest… Dean froze in shock. The forest… Dean felt like hitting himself. _The forest!_ It separates them from the outside world. Anyone could've stumbled in from there… or spy on them without the risk of being noticed. The attacker must have been out there for god knows how long, just waiting for an opportunity to make a move…

As he leaned back with a sigh, wiping at his face tiredly, his gaze caught something strange. Getting up, he stepped closer to the shelf, a frown on his face.

Amongst the row of books, there was one book that stood out in an odd way: it was put back upside down. It would've escaped his attention, if he hadn't remembered that it was the right way before he left the house on the day of the attack. It was as if someone was in too much of a hurry to check it…

Dean plucked the book off of the shelf and opened it. He realized that he was holding a photo album. On the page that opened up, Dean caught his own smiling face, arms wrapped around Bryan's shoulders, his young, teenager face full of self-confidence and playfulness. The two grinning faces were flushed: they had been roughhousing in the backyard before Julia had snapped the photo.

Not understanding but going on an instinct, Dean grabbed the pages, starting from the beginning and let them fall back, going through the album quickly, looking for anything suspicious. Not far into the album, Dean stopped and turned a few pages back.

There…

In the middle of the page, a gap was staring back at him, the photo from there missing. Frowning in confusion, his eyes roamed over the two pages…

And realization froze him in place.

On another picture, this one a sepia-colored photo, showed two people in front of the house Dean was standing in. One of them, a young woman had shoulder-length, straight, dark hair, eyes a medium-dark shade, a gentle smile on her lips. It was Julia, when they moved in. She had shown Dean this picture. Next to her stood a handsome young man, clean-shaven, pale face set in a stern scowl, showing the pride and strength of someone starting a new life. It was the exact features of the attacker…

It was Caleb…

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Julia's voice cut through his shock and Dean snapped his head up, turning towards the girl.

"Did you take a picture from this?" Dean asked, stomach clenching in fear. The knot tightened painfully when Julia just shook her head confused. She walked to his side and peeked into the album. "What photo was here?" Dean asked, his tone urgent.

"I-It was…" Julia scrunched her eyes closed, trying to remember. "It was Caleb… Yeah, Caleb on the day we moved here. Before, he was in the army, so he needed some time to loosen up and be friendlier to the villagers and in general. But why? What's going on?"

"I think the attacker took that picture" Dean replied, pointing at the gap, before snapping the album closed and shoving it back to its place, this time the right way. "That's how he could look like Caleb, but still be different. I mean" he walked out of the house, Julia trailing after him, listening intently, "that bastard looked exactly like Caleb did in the fifties."

"And I think I know how that was possible" Julia added as the two jumped into the Impala and raced back to the hospital, Julia writing a text to her brother.

* * *

><p>When they arrived, Sam was still hiding out in Bryan's arms, sending frightened glances towards Caleb. Dean's heart shattered at the sight of his broken lover. Was there even a chance that he would get his lively, shy mate back in the future? With a determined feeling spreading through him that gave him strength to bring that Sam Morgan back, he strode to the bed and laid a hand on the trembling shoulder. Without hesitation, Sam crawled to the other side of the mattress and buried himself into the older man's embrace.<p>

"It's okay, Sammy" Dean whispered into the brown locks. "I've got ya… I've got ya…"

"What happened?" Julia asked softly, her words addressed to the two grim people sitting next to the bed. Bryan looked angry, while Caleb looked guilty and slightly hurt. Julia had an idea why, as she looked at Sam trembling in Dean's arms. Before anybody could answer her, Sam straightened up, grasping the lapels of Dean's jacket desperately.

"Eyes…" the boy rasped out, eyes even wider if that was possible. "Here… Eyes… Bad eyes… Horrible eyes… Then… Then no eyes… Good eyes…" Dean felt the stinging of tears at the broken words. Was it already too late to get Sam back? "Dean…" Sam sobbed out before leaning back onto Dean's chest, seeking for comfort. Dean wrapped his arms tightly around him and began rocking, shushing the distressed sounds muffled by his shoulder.

"When he woke up, he was fine" Caleb answered finally, his voice slightly strangled, the hurt audible in it. Dean wasn't the only one having a hard time watching Sam's suffering. "But then one look at Bryan and he flipped, screaming about eyes…"

"But why?" Julia asked bewildered, but Caleb only shrugged.

"Only when Bryan showed the wolf's eyes did he calm down" Julia glanced at his cousin, whose irises were still glinting in amber, not wanting to further traumatize the poor boy.

"Your eyes are blue" Julia gasped in realization. "Almost pale blue…"

"What are you talking about?" Bryan asked, straightening out, his body straining from tension at Julia's words. Caleb was the same and Dean just watched the three warily.

Suddenly Sam broke out of his hide-out and grabbed Dean's jacket again, even more desperate than before.

"Eyes… Here…" he repeated louder. "Bad eyes… Get me… They get me!"

"Sammy, it's okay…" Dean tried, but Sam cut him off with a shout:

"Not crazy! They here! NOT CRAZY!"

"Sam!" Dean grabbed Sam's head firmly with both hands, keeping eye contact. "I know you're not crazy. I believe you. The eyes _were_ here. But they're gone now. I promise."

"N-Not cr-crazy?" Sam spoke shakily after he registered Dean's words. "No… No mad… Not crazy…"

"No, you're not" Dean assured him. "You're just afraid… But I'm here, okay? I'll never leave you when you need me, alright?" With that Dean pulled his mate back into his arms, the boy sobbing again in fear, clutching at the leather of the other's jacket.

"Sweetie, you went through something horrible" Julia joined in, rubbing a soothing hand down Sam's hitching back.

"You're still holding on so strong" Bryan stepped in, as well. The look of gratitude Dean sent to him shattered his heart.

"It's perfectly normal to be scared after everything that happened" Caleb added softly, but still loud in the silence of the room.

"See?" Dean whispered into Sam's ear. "Nobody thinks you're crazy. We believe you." As he pulled away slightly to check on Sam, who had gone silent during their words, he saw the glazed eyes as Sam slowly took in everything that was said. Finally, Sam let out a relieved little sound between a sigh and a sob then his body relaxed completely and his eyes closed. As Dean pressed a soft kiss onto his mate's temple, the hand grasping at his jacket tumbled down limply. Dean sighed loudly when laying the boy down, he found Sam sleeping deeply and without any nightmares. Grasping one hand and holding onto it firmly with both of his, he turned towards the others, ready to interject into their future conversations if necessary.

"What is going on?" Caleb and Bryan asked at the same time, their voices hushed, not wanting to disturb Sam's temporary reprieve.

"We know who did this" Julia replied quickly.

"Or more like _what_" Dean interjected, caressing the top of his mate's hand with a thumb. His words brought confused looks onto the other men's features.

"It was a hybrid" Julia finally revealed. A soft 'Dammit' escaped Bryan's mouth while Caleb turned whiter than the hospital walls.

"You mean the spawn of a shedder and a werewolf?" Caleb asked softly. That explained how it could turn itself into Caleb, but not the right one. Dean nodded grimly. He hated shedders. He'd once run into one of them during his wolf years and caught it changing into someone else. It had been pretty disgusting. However, a hybrid never left evidence of its transformation, no piles of skin and slime, no teeth or blood. That's why Julia never found traces of this hybrid, only what was left of it after its encounter with Dean.

"So what now?" Bryan asked, ready for action.

"Luckily, hybrids are lonely creatures" Julia replied in a firm tone. "They don't have the instinct to have a pack. But we'll have to keep an eye out, especially in the forest. There's always an exception to the rule. It could've had a partner…"

"I'll take care of that" Bryan stood up, his stance calm and commanding. "I gather some wolves that can help us guard the village, especially at night." Julia nodded and her cousin hurried out of the room.

"We should go home" she turned to Caleb. "Sam needs his rest and its best if he's not scared of us during that." Caleb nodded slightly dejected and got to his feet. Julia leaned down and kissed Dean on the forehead then did the same to Sam. The boy sighed, unconsciously leaning towards the touch. Julia smiled adoringly before following her brother out the door.

"Good night" Dean called out quietly, getting a smile as an answer. As soon as the door shut, he turned fully towards Sam, lifting the limp hand to his cheek, savoring the feel of the soft skin against his. He hoped that he could help Sam back from his trauma once more, or at least give him the needed push towards it. He knew he could count on the others helping him and he was really grateful.

A teardrop glided down his cheek, smeared away as he nuzzled the loosened fingers longingly. Will everything return to normal again one day? Or was this a lost cause already…?

For the first time in his life, Dean prayed for his goddess, not noticing her silvery blessing shining down on both of them through the window. The moon watched over them, soothing the distress away with her invisible caresses.

After his prayer, Dean leant his head onto Sam's chest, still holding onto the boy's hand, and slept undisturbed, just like his beautiful mate.

_TBC_

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><p><strong>So, did you like it? I hope so...<br>**

**I'm already done with the first chapter of the next UTM (Under The Moonlight) installment. I'm considering to go full-on SLASH mode in that one, with... ehem... _semi-graphic __action scenes_...like the ones in Surprise. What do you think?**

**Alright, Read and Review!**

**See you at the next chapter!**


	19. Chapter 17

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!  
><strong>

**ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!**

**AU, OOC, moderate SLASH! (I'm on a roll ;D)**

**Hey, guys! Thought I update this, as well, with the others. I just got my diploma and began hunting for a job. Wish me luck! :D**

**I'm still stirring the plot-water quite hard, but I hope the scene in the end will make up for some of it. ;)**

**Sadie and Missy are quite satisfied with this chappy. Hope you'll be, as well! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The next couple of days went by somewhat uneventfully. After the small freak-out Sam had, the boy turned unresponsive to everyone – except Dean. No matter who visited them, Sam would ignore them just staring off into space without his mind being in the room.<p>

Dean was a little worried by that. He tried to coax Sam out of his shell, but nothing was working until they were alone in the room, but even then Sam wouldn't utter a word to him, communicating with him only non-verbally.

Only one type of sound would come out of Sam during those days: whimpers. Be it a nightmare, a flashback or – the most painful for Dean – his mate's arm snaking around his waist, Sam would start moaning in fear, almost keening like a terrified dog. The first times Dean tried sleeping with an arm around the boy, his heart broke and he jumped away as if his skin had been burnt. So instead, he chose the chair as his bed, only holding Sam's hand, which hadn't let him go since the boy's breakdown.

The only upside was Sam's stillness. With no more harsh movements to get away from possible attackers, Sam's wrists had time to heal so he could get out of the hospital sooner. Dean was determined to take the boy home, knowing that Sam would open up more willingly in a familiar environment than in a cold, plain hospital room. This realization became clear when the first day after the breakdown a different doctor visited them.

The moment she said the word 'psychologist' Sam's eyes widened even more than they were these days, and he began violently shaking his head, holding Dean's hand so tight that the bone would've snapped if the man had been human. Dean immediately sent the doctor away as politely as he could despite the rage towards her for disturbing Sam's peace, saying that he could take care of his lover without _that_ kind of help.

Finally, the day came to get Sam out of the hospital and home to heal his injuries – mental and physical, as well.

* * *

><p>"Home, sweet home."<p>

Dean smiled as he breathed in the familiar scent of the main house. It felt wonderful after the smell of clean in the hospital. It had burned his nose, making it itch slightly. He stepped through the door, taking another deep breath then turned around and reached out to grab his companion's forearm.

Sam stepped in cautiously, looking around carefully, letting Dean lead him into the house. Fine trembles were constantly wracking his body that Dean could feel under the sleeve of the dark hoodie. Sam had seemed more like himself when he had been dressed into his own clothes instead of the ones provided by the hospital.

Sam finally rested his gaze on Dean and gave a shaky twitch of his lips, making the man's heart dance with joy. That was the first hint of a smile for days now. Dean grasped Sam's hand in answer, threading their fingers, then lifted them up and pressed a gentle kiss onto the boy's knuckles. He didn't dare to do anything more, afraid of triggering a memory in Sam's mind and watching him break even further.

"What do you say we get you to bed, so you can rest?" he asked, keeping his tone cheerful and void of his worries. "Then I will make you some food."

A light-pink flush appeared on Sam's cheeks when Dean kissed his hand, the first time any color returned into his skin besides the whiteness. Finally, Sam turned his head away, eyes glazing over slightly as if his thoughts and emotions had been wiped out temporarily. Dean took that as a sign to take over, so he gently pulled Sam towards his room.

He felt Sam's hand twitch in his when they neared the staircase, but instead of ascending it, Dean walked further, leading Sam to the back of the ground floor next to the stairs. He opened a door and walked inside, Sam following him, his body unwinding from the tension of fear.

Dean pulled Sam to the queen-sized bed and sat the boy down. Sam looked around again, seemingly awakening from his inward wanderings, before raising confused puppy-dog eyes onto Dean. The man knelt down in front of him and pressed a kiss onto Sam's nose, smiling at the adorable sight. Sam's eyes crossed slightly, as he followed the movement, before the light flush returned to his cheeks, accompanied by a couple more shaky twitches of his lips and lids lowering onto glittering hazel-green orbs shyly. Dean risked a small caress on Sam's forehead, but other than discovering the warmth of a low-grade fever, nothing happened.

"Do you like your new room?" Dean asked when Sam's gaze refocused. Sam frowned before looking around once more. This time no kind of reply came. "Alright" Dean stood up with the smile still firmly in place. "I'll make you some food. You just rest." Sam seemed to ignore him, so he left the boy alone, only letting his smile drop outside the room.

As he started preparing a sandwich, his mind filled with all sorts of worries and fears. He was troubled by Sam's sudden muteness. Why wouldn't Sam want to talk? Dean already missed the boy's voice and he didn't count the whimpers and moans. He wanted to see his beautiful mate smile and laugh like he didn't have any care or trouble in the world. He wanted Sam to kiss him again, which hadn't happened since the attack. He wanted to hold the boy close, just as a reassurance that Sam was alive and with him, but the other was traumatized so badly, he even flinched and whimpered when Julia hugged him.

Why did this have to happen to someone as innocent as Sam? Why couldn't they just live in peace like every other couple, waiting for the big day to arrive? At least Dean hoped that there still was a chance for their big day, even though Sam hasn't said yes yet. And how long will this particular breakdown last? Dean wanted to help Sam forget all those horrible events and memories from that night, but Dean had no idea how he should do that without causing more pain and fear for his mate.

He picked the sandwich up and walked back to Sam's room to help the boy eat. Sam was having troubles with his hands, fingers sometimes going numb and frozen and Sam wouldn't be able to grab or hold onto anything for a couple of minutes. The doctor said that there was no physical injury to the nerves and this basically shouldn't be happening, but for some reason Sam's brain shuts those nerves down. It usually happened when Dean was trying to hold Sam or the memories resurfaced in the boy's mind. Maybe it was some sort of defense mechanism…

Putting the plate onto the nightstand and looking up, Dean's heart leapt into his throat, missing a beat.

Sam wasn't in the room.

"Sam?" Dean called, voice shaking slightly. He tore out of the room and through the whole ground floor. "Sammy?!" He stomped up the stairs, taking two at a time… and stopped short.

Looking down the hallway, Dean's gaze landed on a huddled form leaning against the wall, long legs stretched forward. Sam's head was lowered, eyes gazing at his hands, palms up, in his lap with a frown, his hair falling in front of his face like a curtain. He was sitting right in front of _that door._

Dean cautiously walked forward, not wanting to startle Sam, although it didn't seem to matter. Sam was lost in his own world, occasionally lifting his confused gaze onto the door opposite him, before returning to the inspection of his hands. Dean crouched down next to him, trying to figure out what Sam was doing here.

"What is it?" he murmured, relieved that Sam didn't jump at his voice. He didn't even acknowledge his presence. Dean risked laying a hand onto Sam's shoulder and that finally got a response: Sam snapped his head up to him. "Is everything okay?" Dean asked, but Sam only frowned in confusion, before returning his attention to his hands and the door. Dean reached out and took a hold of Sam's hand, realizing that the fingers were numb again. What could've caused that reaction this time?

"Come on" Dean spoke, tugging Sam up to his feet. "Let's go eat!" Dean led Sam away from the door, but didn't miss the last mournful look Sam sent back to it over his shoulder. When they returned to Sam's new room, Dean helped Sam eat the sandwich before tucking him in, so the boy could take a nap. He was hoping that with sleep Sam would get closer and closer to recovery, especially his mind. The boy fell asleep in a minute, Dean staying by his side to guard his dreams.

* * *

><p>The next couple of days were slow and torturous. Dean was spending his time with Sam, doing whatever he could to help in the healing. Julia and Bryan butted in anytime and anywhere they could, both of them just as concerned for the boy as Dean. Sam was still wary of the two, but endured their company, Bryan's even more if the man concealed his real eye color.<p>

Dean had hoped that the feel of home would draw Sam out of his shell some more, but the boy still wasn't talking and threw a fit if anyone tried to "restrain" him – that mostly meant hugs. Dean was sure it was because that bastard forced himself onto Sam, holding him down… That's why Sam had the slowly healing scars on his wrists… why he had almost died from blood loss…

On the first night, Dean tried once more to hold Sam in his arms while the boy slept, but when he stretched out on the bed behind Sam, only a hand on the boy's waist, Sam moaned in fear and scooted away, curling up into an even smaller ball than before. Dean had sighed and resigned himself to sleep in the armchair far from his mate until Sam got better. That didn't work completely well, because when Dean went too far away from Sam in the dark, the boy cried out for him. When Dean looked at Sam, the boy had one hand held out towards him, eyes begging him not to leave him alone. So, he pulled the armchair next to the bed and stayed by Sam's side, clutching Sam's hand the entire night.

Sam found a new "hobby", as well. Every time Dean left him alone in his room for a few minutes, when he returned Sam was gone. For the first couple times Dean tore the house apart to find him, but Sam was always in one spot: sitting in front of the door to the room he was attacked in. Whenever Dean had found him, Sam was alternating the focus of his attention between his hands and the door with the same confused frown over and over again. Dean didn't understand why Sam was doing this, but with each time one answer was forming slowly in his head.

So, he decided to try something out.

On the third day they were home, Dean left Sam alone in the room and sat on the couch in the living room, a perfect vantage point to keep an eye on the room, but to be hidden from sight so Sam wouldn't notice him. He waited and waited for the boy to come out of the room, curious why he was wandering upstairs.

Sure enough, after five minutes of silence, Sam's door swung open and the boy snuck out of the room, making his unsteady way towards the stairs. Dean was shocked at the look of firm and strong determination on Sam's pale face. He could only catch a glimpse of it when Sam had tried – and succeeded – to get over his fear of wolves by approaching Dean in the man's wolf form.

When Sam was halfway up the stairs, Dean stood up and followed him on tiptoes, using his animal instincts to help him as if he was on a hunt. When he reached the top and peeked around the corner, he caught Sam stepping to _that door_ with a gulp. He couldn't miss the sudden bob of the boy's Adam's apple even from this far. He was unconsciously holding his breath, wondering just what the hell Sam was trying to do.

Slowly one of the still bandaged arms lifted, hand closing in on the doorknob with trembles. It felt like hours until Sam finally laid his palm onto the knob but then something strange happened: one of the fingers twitched feebly as if Sam was trying to move them, before they froze up, judging by the struggling expression on Sam's face. Sam let the knob go and tried with the other hand, but the same thing happened. The boy stared at his hands in confusion before backing away, hitting the opposite wall then sliding down onto the floor, legs stretching out in front of him and hands lying on his lap.

Dean was stunned. Sam was trying to get into the room – by himself! It looks like that determination was for the will to get better. Sam wanted to get over his fears. Dean was glad, happy to realize that, but also shocked that it happened this fast. Maybe Sam had had enough of the continuous trauma and wanted to get better? In that case, Dean knew now how he could help.

He slowly walked around the corner and approached Sam's huddled form, disappointment oozing out of the boy's posture. He crouched down without a word and grasped one of Sam's forearms while wrapping his arm around Sam's waist to help him up. Sam seemed to deflate with a sigh as he followed Dean's lead, recognizing his touch now. However, instead of leading Sam away, as usual, the two of them stepped closer to the door.

Sam snapped his head up, gaze falling first onto the door then turning towards Dean with a big question mark in it. Dean just smiled at him comfortingly, before wrapping his hand around one of Sam's and lifting it up. Sam watched with wide eyes as Dean laid his palm onto the doorknob, curling the boy's numb fingers around it with his own.

"Together?" Dean whispered into Sam's ear and waited. After quite a few beats of tense silence, Sam finally nodded, his shakes strengthening slightly as he realized what they were about to do. Dean carefully tightened his hold around Sam's hand and the doorknob and slowly turned them. Sam gasped in a shaky breath at the loud click then Dean pushed at the door so it swung open.

The room looked the same as before all that mess, only the mattress on the bed changed and missing the sheets. The floor was spotless, no reminders of Sam's blood loss on it. Julia and Bryan – and possibly Caleb – had done their best to get the room and its atmosphere back to normal. Only the horrible memories reminded them of the events that had taken place in here.

Sam cautiously stepped inside, Dean following him a moment later. The boy was looking around with wide, fearful eyes, before his gaze settled on the bed. A whimper indicated Dean that the boy was having flashbacks from that night. When Sam covered his ears with his palms, moaning out a sob, Dean couldn't stop himself to step forward and wrap his arms around the boy's waist.

That was the first time Sam didn't flinch from a hug since the attack.

Dean felt tears land on his arm and the shakes increased momentarily before slowly dying away. Dean turned Sam around and embraced him tightly, sighing in relief when Sam just buried his face into the crook of his neck. Dean rested one hand on Sam's that was covering one ear, while his other hand was stroking the boy's back soothingly. He didn't say a word and he knew Sam didn't need him to. Just his presence was enough to keep the boy's thoughts steady and at bay.

After a few minutes, Sam pulled away, hands finally lowering down from his ears, small sniffs and hiccups interrupting the silence between them. Dean lovingly wiped the tears away on the ashen face, returning the shaky smile that Sam sent to him brightly. It wasn't a twitch at the corners… It was a full-blown smile – the watery variety – that Sam used to give to him.

"You okay?" Dean breathed, cradling the angelic face with both hands. Sam nodded slightly with a sniff, closing his eyes, when Dean pressed a kiss onto each of the flushed cheeks.

They slowly pulled away from each other and Sam turned towards the bed. Walking up to it, the boy hesitated for a couple minutes, before carefully sitting down onto the mattress. His body froze at the feel of it when he was fully seated, probably fighting more flashes of memories, before caressing the mattress to get used to the cooled touch. Finally, after another bout of silence, Sam scooted into the center and curled up on his side, lying down fully and closing his eyes.

Dean watched with curiosity as the boy's body tensed once more before relaxing, a small smile gracing the angelic features. It must be a good sign if Sam was smiling, isn't it? Dean was unsure. He just wanted to pick the boy up into his arms and run into the forest where he could be safe. He didn't know why the forest, but he didn't care. His wolf would know anyway, and he trusted it.

All of a sudden, Sam opened his eyes and looked up at Dean. Reaching a hand out, Sam beckoned the man closer, who obeyed, instantly grabbing the outstretched hand. Although Dean wanted to pull Sam off the bed, he was the one pulled instead. Sam was timidly tugging on his arm until Dean was kneeling on the bed. Another tug got Dean lying down next to his mate and he turned onto his side, waiting for Sam's next move – which shocked him to the core.

Sam slowly scooted closer, nestling into Dean's chest with a pleased sigh. He wrapped Dean's arm around his torso, hoping Dean would get the message. He did. Dean slipped his other arm under Sam's body, so he could pull the boy closer, burying his face into the brown locks. Sam clung to the man's shirt, trying to burrow himself further into Dean's body, so the man wrapped himself around his mate, protecting him from the world.

"Don't let me go…"

The meek voice could've made Dean cry in joy and heartbreak. Finally, _finally,_ they can move forward. Sam was back and talking and wanting his mate's touch instead of cowering and whimpering and scared of everything. Dean tightened his hold on the trembling body, burying his fingers into the boy's locks. He pressed a kiss onto Sam's head before answering:

"Never… I promise…"

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><p>Sam looked up at the wooden house in front of him. It was a little over a week since the attack and the scratches on his wrists had almost completely vanished. He finally felt his feet get on even ground, no longer being scared of his own shadow. After the afternoon spent in the bedroom with Dean, Sam had shaken off his fears as much as he could. He knew they were still in the back of his mind and that fact showed when he had first met Bryan after his breakthrough.<p>

The man had been acting as usual towards Sam, eyes amber to hide the light blue irises, a painful and terrifying reminder of pale blue, almost white eyes, glaring down at Sam with dark lust and evil. Sam after a few minutes had convinced the older man to show his real eye color and Bryan had obeyed very reluctantly – and had a good reason to do so.

As soon as the light blue color had flashed back in the man's eyes, Sam had been assaulted with pictures rapidly slamming into his mind one by one, and the boy had ended up screaming bloody murder, trying to escape that gaze. It had taken an hour and Dean's constant, soothing hum to calm Sam down and another hour for the boy to sob his distress out.

Sam shuddered at the memories, not proud of himself from that time. He was still wary of Caleb, not daring to look the man in the eyes, or just look at him, period. The hybrid, as Dean and Julia had called it, destroyed Sam's trust in the older man, and it wasn't even poor Caleb's fault. Sam felt sorry for him, but he just couldn't address this issue with him, at least not yet.

And that's why he was standing here.

It was Bryan's idea. The older man had told Sam that this was one way of dealing with his trauma. When Bryan had explained it some more, Sam had found himself agreeing with him. He had a feeling that with this method he could finally let go of the horrible events, focusing his mind away from the memories even during the process.

So, with a deep breath, he walked up to the front door and disappeared inside the house.

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><p>Dean was beginning to worry.<p>

Sam had been showing so much progress in the past couple of days. Ever since the visit to the scene of the attack, the boy had been slowly opening up, no longer flinching from someone touching him or just appearing in the doorway. More and more words left Sam's mouth as he began speaking again, and eventually he shared everything he could about the hybrid's actions on that night. He had been starting to smile more and laugh more and had been back to his normal self quickly.

Until the day he disappeared.

Dean had been worried when on that afternoon he couldn't find Sam anywhere in the house. He had asked everyone, but no one had seen him – although Bryan had told Dean to leave it and wait for Sam to return. He had probably just gone for a walk to clear his head.

Dean had tried that, he really had… But after all the bad things that had happened to Sam, he couldn't help but worry. What if Sam got lost in the forest again? What if another wolf pack will take interest in the boy and try to catch him? What if Sam breaks his neck in a sudden fall into a ditch? He knew he was being paranoid, but can anyone blame him?

After Sam finally returned from wherever he went, Dean felt so relieved that he wanted to pick him up and carry him upstairs to their room to check him all over for any injuries. However, as Dean rushed to his mate and reached out to embrace him in relief…

Sam pushed him away.

It wasn't the hurt of rejection that caused Dean's worry, though, but the fact that after letting everyone hug him, Sam began shying away again from touch. And Dean couldn't stop his panic. What could've happened to Sam to regress in his healing process? He didn't seem injured or even mentally scarred, if he could trust Sam's eyes in that. In fact, he was perfectly okay. Then what was it?

* * *

><p>Several days had to pass for Dean's question to be answered. He had been a little antsy, because Sam had been avoiding his touch on the first day. Dean respected that but the nervousness for his mate's well-being had been eating away at him. Luckily, a couple of days after Sam's little disappearing act, the boy had begun to let Dean closer to him – at least until Dean didn't touch his stomach.<p>

Sam had also noticed the man's worry and wanted to reassure him that everything was fine, but even he couldn't believe that. Not yet. He'd still needed a little time to recover… but not just mentally. He couldn't let Dean discover what he had done until Sam was ready to tell him. No matter how much it had hurt to avoid Dean's touches and caresses, Sam'd needed this secret and the control of keeping it to himself. However, all of this was gonna be worth it. He was sure of it.

"Whatcha doin'?"

Dean's voice interrupted the silence around him. Sam was upstairs, lying on the bed on his stomach, reading a book he found on the living room shelf. The bed jostled as Dean joined him, one arm wrapping around his waist, the heat of his body engulfing Sam's side. The boy felt proud of himself for not flinching away from the embrace.

"Did you know Julia has the original edition of _Ten Little Niggers_?" Sam exclaimed enthusiastically, flashing a large grin towards Dean, who was looking at him with adoration.

"And did you know that her father bought it signed by the author?" Dean replied, turning the pages to the signature under the book's title. Sam's jaw dropped, causing Dean to chuckle at the awe on his face. Sam looked like a five-year-old boy with ten bags of candy in his hands.

After the shock of that revelation, Sam returned to his reading, while Dean enjoyed being close to the boy again. The man missed their intimate moments and the little meaningless touches between them – like this one. He couldn't help but nuzzle the chestnut-brown locks lovingly and was grinning inwardly when Sam hummed in appreciation and even leant his body against Dean's.

A few minutes later, during which Sam ignored Dean for the book, Dean had enough of being still. He plucked the book out Sam's hands and put it behind him.

"Hey!" Sam yelped indignantly, trying to reach for the book. "I was reading that!"

Dean didn't answer him. Instead, the full lips began kissing his neck and cheek and Sam forgot his annoyance. As he turned his body fully towards Dean, the man grasped his chin gently and pressed a hungry kiss onto Sam's lips. Sam moaned breathlessly at the touch of Dean's tongue against his own when he opened his mouth in invitation. He missed this so much, but it was definitely worth the wait: there wasn't an ounce of fear inside him.

Sam lay onto his back and the pillow, pulling Dean with him by the collar of the man's shirt, their mouths staying glued together. Dean lowered himself onto Sam, careful not to crush him, but letting his body cover the boy entirely. Sam's hand slid up his arm onto the back of his neck, while the other trailed up and down Dean's back.

Tightening his hold around Sam's waist, Dean tore his lips away from Sam's, a gasp breaking out of the boy, followed by another, when Dean made his way down the other's neck, caressing the flushing skin with his mouth. One of Dean's hands slid up and under Sam's T-shirt, and when he didn't receive a protest, he began lifting it up. As his thumb brushed Sam's stomach, the boy hissed in an odd sort of way.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, lifting himself up quickly, worried he had hurt Sam in any way.

"It's nothing, really…" Sam started, but Dean was already looking him over – and his gaze froze on the skin revealed by their ministrations.

Dean studied his mate's stomach intently – and the tattoo on it. Sam's lower abdomen was littered with black, intricate lines swirling and tangling up with each other. The tattoo was in a V-shape and it looked tribal that Dean had seen a couple times on other people.

However, what caught his gaze was the beautifully drawn and shaded, full-blown red rose in the middle decorating the artwork.

Dean carefully caressed the tattoo, feeling the shiver running through Sam at his touch. When he looked up, he noticed the closed eyes and the slight frown on Sam's brow. It wasn't pain, though.

"It's sensitive" Sam spoke quietly, eyes still closed, as if he felt the man's gaze on his face. Dean returned to observing the beautiful picture.

"Where did you get it done?" he asked softly, not ceasing his tender caresses on the boy's skin.

"At the tattoo artist in the village."

"Alo?" Dean looked up in surprise. "Why?"

"I needed closure" Sam finally opened his eyes as he spoke. "It seemed like a good way to do it. Bryan told me to go to Alo, because he understands…"

"Why here?" Dean continued his questions when Sam trailed off. "Why not on your back maybe? And why this?"

"I wanted something that symbolizes new beginnings" Sam replied sheepishly. "Alo helped me find it… We looked every drawing over that he had and we were searching for hours… And he said this would look good here, so…"

"Do you even know what this means?" Dean asked slightly incredulous. Sam looked back at him in fear and shook his head. Dean then placed his hands on Sam's stomach so that they followed the V-shape of the tattoo, his wrists slightly parted, as if he was holding the rose up. Sam's face was still drawn into confusion, but after a few seconds it cleared up, giving way for recognition and shock and… awe?

"Are you saying…?" Sam started, his voice slightly dazed, almost dreamy.

"That's why Alo suggested it here" Dean explained, taking his hands away. "Every submissive has something like this tattooed on their stomachs for the same reason."

Sam pushed himself up, gaze never leaving the tattoo. When the T-shirt began sliding down, Sam caught it quickly and lifted it up again. His other hand cautiously closed in on the tattoo then he smoothed his palm over it, the realization of what Dean meant slamming into him like a train.

"Are… are you… okay?" Dean asked hesitantly, when Sam hadn't answered or moved since figuring out the hidden meaning of the tattoo. At his voice Sam looked up and Dean realized that the boy was crying. However, before Dean could soothe Sam's distress, the boy's lips stretched into a watery smile and it was like watching a rainbow appearing on the sky. Dean couldn't help but grin at Sam's happiness, which in turn brought a small, hiccupping laugh out of the boy. Dean then pulled Sam into his arms, who in turn snuggled into him, sniffing but smiling widely.

"So… does this mean you're okay with this?" Dean asked and sighed in relief when Sam nodded without hesitation.

Getting himself together, Sam pulled away and wiped at his tears. Dean kissed him lovingly then tried to return to what they had started, but Sam pulled back and waved the book at Dean with a smirk full of mischief before turning onto his stomach again and continuing reading. Dean stared at Sam slack-jawed, cursing the boy's cheeky behavior inwardly, before a smirk of his own crept onto his face.

Sam felt Dean's warm body settle on top of him, the man's head resting on his shoulder, while hands caressed his back and sides. He tried to keep up the act, just a little longer, before succumbing to the temptation, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore the tingling touches on his skin, even through his clothes.

When Dean brushed Sam's hair away and began kissing his neck again, all Sam could do was concentrate on holding the book up. His eyes had already shut on their own accord and his head tilted to give room for Dean. Soon the kisses turned into sucking and Sam had to grab onto the pillow to keep himself grounded. His back arched, letting Dean lean even more onto him.

The book fell out of his hold as he reached up, burying his fingers into Dean's tresses to keep the man there, letting him do whatever he was doing _more!_ His nerves were sending a pleasant numbness throughout his body and his hips began moving on the mattress. His heart started racing in his chest, his pulse quickening, beating rapidly against his skin and heat settled all over him. He felt teeth graze his neck but it just heightened his senses even more.

A small prick of pain yanked him out of his haze. He just registered Dean's tight hold on his waist and when he tried to wriggle to loosen the almost painful embrace, the pain returned with more force behind it. He grunted from it and tried to move away, but his neck then exploded in a blaze of pain, pushing a cry out of him.

"Dean" he gasped, eyes tearing up from the burn, but it fanned up even more, flames licking even at his back and head… and he found the source of it at Dean's mouth attached to him. "Dean! Stop!" Another tsunami of hot lava washed down his neck, caused by Dean's… _teeth!_ "Please, Dean! Hurts…"

The moment that word left his mouth, he found himself face down on the bed, Dean's body replaced by cool air. At the same time, the bedroom door slammed open then a pair of small hands caressed his back and arm.

"Come on, sweetie!" Julia's voice cooled the hellfire in Sam's neck slightly, as the boy was pulled to his feet. Sam looked around and found Dean wedged in the corner, hands over his mouth, eyes shut tightly… as if he was restraining himself… Bryan was standing in front of him like a shield, watching the man like a hawk. Sam felt himself be lead away from the scene and out of the room, but he just couldn't take his eyes off of Dean. What was wrong with him?

As they reached the door, he found the answer.

Dean's eyes snapped open, emeralds hidden by vicious amber, and he shot out of the corner with a snarl, canine teeth snapping with a ferocious growl… and claw shaped fingers trying to grab Sam!

Sam jumped in fear, but then Bryan slammed into Dean's body with an equally violent growl, pushing the man into the wall to subdue him. Julia quickly pulled Sam out of the room slamming and locking the door. Sam wished the wood could mute the thuds and crashes, but most of all, the growls, snarls and barks inside.

Suddenly, a huge wave of lethargy washed through him, giving room for the burn in his neck to grow. His knees buckled and his eyelids became heavy. Julia's frantic voice could barely penetrate the ringing in his ears:

"Sweetie, stay with me! Let's get you downstairs, okay? Just don't go to sleep!"

Sam gathered his last amount of strength and the two stumbled to the stairs, carefully descending it step by step. Soon, he was lowered onto the couch and Julia leaned him sideways against the headrest, his blazing neck exposed as his head fell against the couch. He caught a glimpse of terror on the girl's face before it was hidden away by a neutral expression as Julia disappeared from the living room.

Sam felt his body begin shaking. What the hell happened back there? Why would Dean _bite_ him? And what was up with Julia? Was his injury worse than it could possibly have been? Sam was terrified now, as well. What if something went wrong? Judging by Julia's fear, something _did_ go wrong. Sam was just scared of the extent of it.

"Okay, let's clean you up, okay, baby?" Julia crooned, her voice shaking almost inaudibly. She must be terrified but Sam staying calm was first on her list. Sam breathed deeply to soothe his mind. He had a feeling that the next minutes are gonna be painful.

He couldn't be farther from the truth.

The first touch of the peroxide tore a cry out of Sam, as the burn turned into a nuclear explosion in his neck. He grabbed the headrest with both hands and clutched at it desperately, trying to ride the pain out, but the sting of the alcohol made that impossible. His body started squirming without realizing it, wanting to get away from the fire, but it was futile.

By the time Julia deemed the wound clean and bandaged it, Sam was sobbing from the torture he had gone through. Julia began caressing Sam's back comfortingly, until the boy quieted down.

"Sweetie?" she spoke softly, worry oozing out of her tone, when Sam stilled. "Sweetie, are you awake? Talk to me!"

"W-What…" Sam moaned out, trying to turn his head towards her, but the muscles went rigid from the pain. "W-W-What happ…?"

"Dean's wolf tried to claim you" Julia answered in a grim tone after the relief vanished from her face. "Seems like it was getting impatient and decided to take matters into its own paws." Sam's lips twitched, too weak for a smile in reply to the phrasing.

"Did he…?"

"Yes" Sam went stiff from the answer. Dear God, he was _bitten!_ Did that mean…? "We'll keep an eye on you. There's a chance you weren't "bitten" yet." Julia air-quoted the word "bitten" and Sam knew what she was saying. "It's really deep, though, almost took a chunk out of your neck…" Sam shuddered at the image conjured up in his mind.

"Can you t-tell… me a-about the… t-t-tattoo?" Sam asked, wishing for a subject change and too scared to surrender to the darkness pulling him in.

"You got a tattoo?" Julia asked surprised. Sam just dragged his hand with sheer willpower to his abdomen. The girl's eyes widened in understanding now. "It's V-shaped, isn't it? That's the mark of a submissive. Every time someone finds their mate, the submissive of the two gets a tattoo at Alo before the bonding ceremony. It symbolizes a new life… in more ways than one."

"Wh-What do you… m-mean?" Sam felt more tired and sleepier than a couple minutes ago. He couldn't understand where this fatigue came from so suddenly.

"Well" Julia shrugged slightly self-consciously, "it means that the submissive started a relationship, which is always a kinda new life. But it has a hidden meaning, too: fertility." Sam breathed in sharply as the realization washed over him again. "The tattoo usually shows everyone, especially the dominant, that she or, in your case, he is to carry and birth children." Sam sighed as his suspicion was confirmed. Dean was slightly vague about the tattoo's meaning, letting Sam draw his own conclusions. "Try to get some rest, okay?" Julia spoke and Sam realized that his eyes had closed again. "And if you feel pain anywhere else other than your neck, don't hesitate to call, alright?"

"'Kay…" Sam whispered and began slowly lying down onto his side. Julia helped him get comfortable then stroked his hair tenderly before leaving him alone. Sam felt the fire in his neck assaulting his nerves, but luckily it wasn't expanding. Does that mean he was safe? And what was going on upstairs? He could still hear the occasional thuds and one time the shaking of the locked door, but other than that it was silent. What was Bryan doing to Dean? Were they alright?

He fell asleep with these troubling thoughts in his head.

_TBC..._

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><p><strong>So, how was it? Did you like it?<br>**

**Here is the tattoo: Gothic Maroon Rose Tattoo (easier if you Google it).**

**Please, Read and Review!**

**See you at the next chapter!**


	20. Chapter 18

**ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER: Every content, character, plot etc. that anyone is able to recognize as other's property is NOT mine. I have no intention to get into any trouble involving law and money.**

**ULTIMATE WARNING: So far most of my stories are turning out to be SLASH and MPREG. So they may contain mature, Male/Male Relationship and not so graphic sex scenes between two men. If you can't stand these or don't want to read them, please leave this story behind!**

**AU, OOC, SLASH! Hurt, sadness, angst (or some such).**

***Author hides behind barricade, communicating via boards like Wile E. Coyote***

**Hey, everyone!**

**I'm so so so SO SORRY for being this late. I had a lot of stuff to deal with real-life-wise and family-wise, but now I'm back, so PUT THOSE PITCHFORKS DOWN!**

**Good. Now that everyone's calm, let's dive into this new chappy. It's a sadder one really, especially the end, but the story will have a happy ending, I SWEAR! (I CAN swear since the first chapter of the third story is already written. ^-^)  
><strong>

**Anyways, enjoy!**

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><p>As the sunlight was slowly replaced by darkness and the golden dusting of the overhead lamp covered up the living room, Julia was sitting on the edge of the couch. Her green eyes were pinned onto the still form of Sam, who was sleeping peacefully. Both of the boy's hands were in front of his face, one of them hiding his mouth, making him look years younger at that moment. It was such an adorable sight, even Julia couldn't help a fleeting smile as she caressed the brown tresses slowly and tenderly, hoping to keep Sam calm through his rest.<p>

Ever since bursting through the upstairs bedroom door and stumbling into the scene of Sam lying on the bed with Dean in the corner struggling to keep his humanity, Julia's heart was beating a mile a minute in fear. The sight of blood trickling down Sam's neck and out of the obvious mark on it still filled her with dread. However, Sam's peaceful slumber indicated that they dodged a bullet this time.

The silence in the room had been frequently broken by growls and thuds from upstairs, but for the last two hours, no noise traveled through the house and into Julia's ears. She hoped that Dean had been able to regain control over his wolf, but they could only find that out when he got Sam back.

And Julia had a hard time letting him anywhere near the innocent boy so soon. If ever…

The sound of a door opening and quick, somewhat quiet footsteps broke her out of her musings. She stood up, stance firm and protective, waiting for Bryan and Dean to come into the living room. Not a moment later Dean hurried into the room, emerald eyes searching worriedly. As soon as they fell on Sam, his shoulders slumped in relief, but they tensed up again. Julia knew he had seen the bandage on Sam's neck.

"Is he…?" he started, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. Julia could smell the terror gripping him tightly.

"No" Julia answered tersely. "He's fine."

Dean took a step closer then his gaze flitted towards Julia, swallowing at the look aimed at him.

"C-Can I…?" he asked shakily. Julia held herself tense for a few moments then cautiously stepped aside. Dean hurried to the couch, crouching down to look Sam over attentively. He felt horrible for what he had done, but his instincts took over so fiercely, he was barely able to restrain them before anything unforgivable could have happened.

Sam's scent had been so strong, Dean had felt dizzy. It'd been as if he couldn't breathe in any oxygen, because that curious scent had taken its place in the whole room. A burn deep inside him had seemed to feed off of the scent, flames slowly growing into a roaring fire. Dean'd had trouble to concentrate on the outside world.

That scent was still lingering around Sam, and Dean felt the beast inside him growling savagely, but he had to control it. He had to wrestle it into submission if he wanted to stay with Sam.

Suddenly, fluttering eyelids revealed hazy hazel-greens, as Sam finally woke up, feeling several intense gazes on him. The first thing he saw was the guilt and hope swimming in emerald eyes. Sam's widened in comprehension and he tried to shoot upright, but the lightning bolt of pain flashed into his neck, pushing a gasp out of him as his hand shot to his throat. His thumb brushed the edge of the bandage. A pair of hands helped him carefully into sitting position and he locked his gaze with their owner.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

"I should be asking that" Dean replied, his thin voice still shaking. "God, Sammy, I'm so sorry… I don't know why I lost control, I… I don't know… so sorry…"

"Is… Is it safe now?" Sam asked, still a little afraid of Dean's inner dominant. His innocent question brought tears into Dean's eyes and the man pulled him into a tender hug, nuzzling his hair. Sam cautiously wound his arms around Dean's torso, wanting to feel the sense of warmth and safety like before. He needed a couple seconds to even _begin_ to relax in Dean's arms.

The moment Dean took a deep breath, though, he knew all was not well.

The hold around him tightened to painful so fast, Sam was left slightly dizzy. As Dean buried his nose even further into his hair, Sam couldn't stop a frightened whimper to escape him. Not one fraction of a second later, Dean was ripped away from him with a foreign growl then large hands grasped his upper arms, helping him onto his feet. He could just catch the glimpse of a black wolf advancing on a cowering, angry, amber-eyed Dean before he was led out of the house.

"It's okay" Bryan's voice penetrated his terror as the large hands rubbed at his arms, one long arm wrapped around Sam's shoulders protectively. "You're gonna be okay. Both of you…"

Sam felt the prickle of tears in his eyes, so he turned into Bryan's side, burying his face into the taller man's chest and clutching his shirt desperately. Bryan shushed him, holding him tightly as they walked farther and farther away.

"Where're you takin' me?" Sam whispered, trembling so hard, he was scared he would go into convulsions.

"You'll be staying with us" Bryan answered. "Lorie and me. It's just for a couple of days, until things cool down, okay?" Sam's only answer was a soft sob, which was soothed away by a large hand combing through his hair.

They walked for what seemed like hours before Sam's eyes were filled with light through his eyelids. He peeked out of his hiding place and saw a small wooden house, similar to the ones surrounding it… To the one Dean showed him…

Bryan silently opened the door and led Sam inside. The interior of the little house was only slightly different than the one Sam had seen. The kitchen was in the far left corner with a small dining table and two chairs opposite each other. There was a couch and a bookcase to the left of them, small coffee table holding the phone and a bouquet of beautiful flowers. The furniture stood between the TV and the couch. One door next to the dining table was closed: Sam guessed it was the bedroom. The other next to the kitchen was open and the light was on. Sam heard the soft, muffled whirr of a washing machine in the background, coming from the way of the bedroom.

The front door closed with a sharp click and Sam was led deeper into the house.

"Hey, honey" came Lorie's serene voice from the room next to the kitchen. With a soft click the lamp in there was turned off and the girl stepped out, a smile on her face as she turned towards Bryan. The smile melted off her face at the sight of the two, before her crystal-blue eyes widened with confusion and concern.

"What happened?" she practically demanded from her fiancé, as Bryan sat Sam onto the couch, feeling the boy's weakening strength and will to be upright. Lorie immediately sat down next to the boy, who was still in a state of numb shock, tears leaking from his eyes like water from a leaky faucet. She didn't miss the flash of anger in Bryan's eyes and the bandage on Sam's neck – although with how pale the boy was it was not an easy feat.

"Sam is going to stay with us for a day or two." _'Or more'_ was left unsaid, knowing it would not do any good to Sam by mentioning it.

"Of course" Lorie nodded without hesitation. She then turned to Sam, who was staring ahead seeing nothing in front of him, and laid her hand onto his shoulder comfortingly.

Her touch seemed to rouse Sam from his shock, but not in a good way: he promptly shot forward and began retching, bile trickling out of his mouth with the first gut-wrenching churn. Lorie instantly combed Sam's hair back, one hand stroking his trembling back soothingly. Bryan jumped to the side and out of the way, but he leant down to lay a hand onto Sam's forehead, while the other gripped the boy's shoulder to keep him upright. Lorie's hand in Sam's hair freed up this way, so she grasped Sam's shaking hand instead.

The couple looked into each other's eyes over Sam's head and Bryan mouthed _'Dean'_ with a sorrowful expression. Lorie's confusion turned into horrified understanding, as her blue eyes flicked to the bandage on Sam's neck. When she returned her gaze to Bryan, the man nodded grimly.

"Lorie?" Sam croaked out, voice barely audible.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked quietly, leaning her head onto Sam's shoulder. Instead of answering, Sam moved and as soon as she straightened up, he buried his head into her shoulder, arms weakly wrapping around her lithe body. Lorie felt her heart break at the soft broken sob breaking out of him, remembering a time when she had gone through all this. "Shhh, sweetie. It's gonna be okay…" she breathed into Sam's ear, hoping Sam would believe her. It was the truth, but that didn't mean it was satisfying. "I know…" she added, when Sam started shaking his head, forehead rubbing her shoulder. "Believe me, I know all of it…" She knew Bryan heard her when he lowered his gaze, still feeling guilty after all those months.

"Honey" she spoke to Bryan now, "why don't you prepare a nice soothing bath for Sam?"

Her fiancé hurried to the other, closed door. When it opened, Sam, who had calmed down slightly at Lorie's assurances, caught sight of the end of a king bed. His guess was right…

"Hey" Lorie crooned, straightening him up. Sam clumsily wiped at his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his shirt. "I swear to you that everything's gonna be okay." Sam nodded, breath still hitching now and then as his lungs tried to regulate the intakes of breath. "First, you're gonna sleep it off. The adrenaline took a toll on you. Then, we're gonna wait until Dean comes for you, okay?" Sam just nodded again, now wiping the tears away with the other sleeve. Lorie stood up with a soft "Okay" and pressed a kiss onto Sam's hair, before disappearing through the bedroom door.

Sam took deep breaths – or tried to – to control his emotions. Once more, everything was going just fine so Fate – _'That bitch'_ he thought angrily – decided to throw them a curveball. He just wanted some peace to think the bonding through, not reasons not to accept Dean's offer of a new life.

"Sam?" Bryan called out and Sam turned to him, feeling tired all of a sudden. The man motioned him over where he stood in the doorway. Sam slowly pushed himself off of the couch and shuffled towards him. Bryan surprised him by pulling him into a short, brotherly hug, and he returned it, siphoning the other for some strength. "Come on, your bath's ready."

Sam tentatively stepped into the bedroom when Bryan let him through, looking around in slight curiosity. The room was peaceful and simple, only decoration being some photos on the walls. It was nice, simple, cozy… kinda what Sam was hoping to have for settling down.

Lorie just closed the wardrobe doors and when Sam reached the bathroom door, she pushed some clothes into the boy's arms.

"These should fit you" she explained before gently pushing him through the door. "Just take your time, okay? We'll make your bed." Sam just nodded again, not really caring to ask where he would actually sleep. He just turned around wordlessly, letting Lorie close the door. He listlessly threw his clothes onto the floor and sat into the warm water, sighing in slight relief as the warmth washed over his exhausted body. He closed his eyes, only one thought echoing through his head:

_'Don't fall asleep yet, don't fall asleep yet…'_

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><p>When Sam finally emerged from the bathroom, dressed in sweatpants, a T-shirt and a hoodie a little big on him, the stiff muscles in his neck relaxed, lessening the pain. He snuck out of the bedroom, not wanting to disturb the conversation Bryan and Lorie were having. The couple was arranging the sofa bed for Sam to sleep on, the coffee table standing in the corner. Sam began fiddling with the long sleeves of the hoodie – must be Bryan's – as the words reached him.<p>

"You can't blame yourself, honey" Lorie was saying, puffing up the pillows. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"I'm still so sorry" Bryan answered, finishing with the sheets. "I shouldn't have lost it." Lorie dropped the pillows onto the mattress and pulled Bryan into a comforting kiss. "But this was too close" Bryan sighed out after separating. "Sam almost didn't make it." Sam shuddered, but he must have made a sound, for the other two turned towards him. Their grim expressions implicated that they realized Sam had heard them.

"Come on, sweetie" Lorie spoke, smiling at him tenderly as she stepped to him and led him to the sofa bed. "I'm sure you're tired."

Sam sank onto the bed, boneless from the days, _weeks_ behind him. Lorie pushed him down gently, covering him up when he was stretched out. Looking up at the two, Sam noticed the guilt in Bryan's eyes. His suspicions were confirmed that the couple had been talking about him and Dean – and themselves, as well.

"If there's anything you need, you can wake us up" Lorie said as Bryan wrapped an arm around her. "No matter the time, okay?" Sam nodded, croaking out a shaky "Kay…" Lorie kissed his forehead with a slightly sad smile then the couple retreated to their bedroom. As the overhead lamp was turned off, Sam shifted onto his side, facing the entrance door. His neck began throbbing a little under the gauze, but it was bearable. Sam curled up, closing his eyes, trying to forget the wild, feral look on Dean's face both times the man tried to claim him. With fresh tears landing on the pillow, he fell into a light, restless sleep.

* * *

><p>Long after Lorie and Bryan had gone to bed, Sam startled awake. His eyes snapped wide open, landing on the window and the door. He knew he heard a noise through the darkness. The dreaded sense of déjà vu filled him, as he strained to see through the blackness. The small light of the moon didn't help, although it showed no one and nothing by the window.<p>

Sam blinked once to clear his sight for a moment… and his heart leapt up into his throat as a shadow appeared by the sofa. He froze in horror: the figure was tall and menacing, but when it stepped closer and lowered itself onto the mattress, Sam recognized Dean's hazy features. He relaxed, ready to scold Dean for scaring him. The realization, though, came out of the blue: the door didn't open when the man stepped in. His heart picked up speed then he gasped: Dean's eyes flashed in amber. Sam wanted to move, he was already pushing himself away, but Dean moved quicker than human eyes can track, mouth opening to reveal sharp, wolf-like teeth, going straight for his throat…

Sam jerked awake violently, panting loud and fast. He tried to move, but something held him down and his limbs were trapped. He yanked his arms free, fisting the sheet to propel himself out of the sofa bed, but a small hand restrained him, another raking through his sweaty tresses. A constant sound finally penetrated the barrier of fear over his senses.

"Shhhh…" a long, blonde lock of hair fell forward from behind Sam as a small body leaned onto him keeping him still. It was Lorie trying to calm him down. This knowledge hit him hard and he began sobbing erratically, his chest hurting from the strength of his heartbeats.

"Shh…" Lorie wrapped an arm around Sam, rocking him slightly. "Just a dream… A bad dream… But it's over now… Hush, sweetie…"

It took Sam awhile to gather his self-control together. He rubbed his face into the sheet to get rid of the tears then sat up, coughing against the dryness in his throat. He noticed he was lying across the sofa bed, his pillow on the floor and the sheets almost yanked off the mattress. Lorie was sitting next to him in front of the backrest.

"Are you prone to nightmares?" she asked, her blue eyes watching him in concern. Sam nodded, feeling ashamed. Lorie just jumped up and began puttering about in the kitchen. Sam, feeling a little useless, decided to get the sofa in order. When he settled back in, Lorie joined him facing him and held out a steaming cup of tea. "This should help" she smiled softly as Sam took the hot beverage gingerly. They sat in silence, Sam sipping at the tea – which tasted exactly like the one… the one he was given back then to help him relax – and Lorie rubbing the young man's arm reassuringly.

When the tea was finished, Sam yawned so Lorie took the cup to the sink then returned to help Sam to sleep. She tucked him in, the young man now lying with his back to the door, but as she pulled her hand away, Sam grabbed it in panic.

"Stay?" he whimpered. She settled down next to him, stroking his hair in soothing motions. Sam closed his eyes, keeping contact with Lorie by leaning against her. Soon he fell into a slightly uneasy, but nightmare-free sleep, not sensing Lorie standing up and retreating into the bedroom.

* * *

><p><em>The darkness was filled to the brim with loud growls. The monotone sound echoing around was only broken by a sudden loud crack. It prompted a wild snarl before the growls continued. The crack repeated, bringing the snarl back. This had been going on for quite long and there was no sign of stopping or changing yet…<em>

* * *

><p>"Sam?"<p>

Sam startled with a gasp then opened his eyes groggily. Hazel gaze met with crystal-blue, which was framed by blonde locks.

"Morning, sweetie" Lorie whispered, caressing the chestnut-brown locks soothingly. Sam let out a sigh as his body relaxed, curling against the girl's bent leg resting on the mattress by his side. "How are you holding up?" Sam shrugged, appreciating the effort but not in the mood to talk. "Okay" Lorie said, her eyes saddened for a moment. "I left my number next to your phone" she continued, pointing to the coffee table with her thumb. "If you need anything, call me, alright?"

"Where're you goin'?" Sam asked quickly, grabbing Lorie's hand. The girl stroked Sam's hair soothingly before answering:

"Work. But I'll be home sooner than normal."

"What do you do?" Sam asked curiously, realizing he didn't even know what Lorie and Bryan did for a living.

"I'm a hairdresser at a salon in town" she answered with a smile. "So, if you need anything, just call and I'll come home. Otherwise, you can just take it easy, rest. Okay?"

"'Kay…"

Lorie pressed a kiss onto his tresses then as Sam closed his eyes again, she stood up and snuck out of the house, knowing Sam had fallen back to sleep almost instantly. She smiled when just as she shut the door, a soft snore reached her ears.

* * *

><p><em>Another crack… Another snarl…<em>

_Another crack… Another snarl…_

_Another crack…_

_A whine… Just momentary… Immediately swallowed up by the next snarl…_

_The crack came just a second later than normal… Meaning the whine was heard…_

_Another crack… Another snarl…_

_Another crack… Another snarl…_

* * *

><p>The sounds of the TV were just a low buzz in the living room. The sofa was a messy cocoon of sheets and pillows, surrounding a curled up body. Sam was lying on his left side, gaze unfocused and stuck on the distance of his thoughts, the sitcom playing in the TV forgotten in the background. His head was resting on his outstretched arm, his fingers lax and the remote under them, where it slipped out of his hand after he got lost in his mind.<p>

_If only there was someone to decide for me…_

Sam sighed, hating the indecision ruling over him. The wolf almost made the choice for him, never mind the consequences. Sam knew it was getting more impatient, but it only had animal instincts. It didn't have to deal with the fallout following a decision this magnitude.

_Dean or normal? … Dean or normal?_

_ Why can't I have both?_

If he accepted to change into a different species, wouldn't that count as "rushing into this"? They'd have to explain his sudden disappearance to quite a few people: friends, his Dad… Although, Bobby knowing about the wolves makes everything easier. Sam worked so hard for his house, his whole life… It seems so wrong to throw all that away…

Being with Dean, however, was the best feeling he had ever experienced in his whole life. Even after the kidnapping and their separation, Sam wanted nothing more than to have Dean's arms around him, holding him tenderly, as if he was something fragile and precious… The picture of them he conjured up in his head in a domestic life, filled him with a thrill throughout his body and heart and soul… The two of them bonded together, living in the house Dean had showed him, a little blonde boy running around them, giggling furiously…

A louder cheer startled him out of the scene playing through his mind, tearing a gasp out of him. The TV was showing a character looking smug, as the cheering crowd slowly quietened. The show was a different sitcom than before and when he looked around, the clock showed it was an hour later than he remembered. He must have fallen asleep or something. At least it was a nice dream…

* * *

><p>"<em>YOU LITTLE BITCH!" CRACK!<em>

"_I'M GONNA RIP YOU-!" CRACK!_

"_YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!" CRACK!_

"_HE'S MINE, AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT WITH HIM!" CRACK!_

_ This time the whimper came out as a yelp, leaving a thin trail of blood on sandy-blonde fur. Emerald eyes, narrowed in fury, pinned onto their target, making it shrink back into itself._

_ "I'm the boss in here" growled an enraged voice, accompanied by the swish of something thin sliding on solid ground._

_ "You're too much of a coward to do it" the second voice was an actual growl, but shaky from pain. "I had to step in."_

_ "I'M NOT A COWARD!" CRACK! "Unlike you, I know what a big decision this is for him. He's still human, he has a right to choose of his own free will."_

_ "We both want him. Why should we wait? Why should __**he **__decide-" CRACK!_

_ "I'd rather die than force anything on him again. Because if I do, he's gonna hate me… hate us… You want that?"_

_ Silence… The longest since this whole ordeal started…_

* * *

><p>Sam was washing the dishes, Lorie putting them away. He insisted on helping in some way to pay back the couple's hospitality. A couple of days had gone by since Dean lost himself to the wolf. The bite on Sam's neck was slowly healing, still covered with gauze. At least he was able to move his head now without overwhelming pain.<p>

His first day was spent in solitude, only eating and sleeping, but mostly thinking. And, of course, missing Dean. After that, Sam showed more will to live, joining in the conversations between Lorie and Bryan, who welcomed him readily. Sam had a great time with the two, managing even to forget about his troubles during those times.

Tonight, Bryan was working late, so Sam decided to talk with Lorie. He was hoping the girl could help him with his dilemma. So, when they were done and Lorie finished up the laundry, Sam was waiting for her sitting at the table with two cups of coffee. Lorie smiled knowingly and slid the free cup closer to her chair, sitting next to the boy. They remained silently, just sipping the black beverage, Sam searching for the right words and Lorie waiting for him to start.

"How did you get involved?" he spoke finally.

"Well" Lorie began, "I was living in town all my life, a normal girl in a normal family. I knew Bryan since I was eight years old, he used to come to babysit me when Mom and Dad wanted some time out. He was such a wonderful person even back then, he was my best friend. Then when I turned eighteen, he brought me here and introduced me to Julia and Caleb. He showed me this little house" she looked around wistfully, "and told me the truth. At first I didn't want to believe him, but he changed in front of me."

"You must've been scared to death" Sam noted, huffing out a small chuckle.

"I wasn't _that_ scared" Lorie denied but Sam just looked at her in disbelief. "I mean yeah, he's huge in both forms, but when he looked at me with his big blue eyes, I was hooked. His wolf is gorgeous and Bryan himself is… perfect. We waited, until I digested everything, having to move in and letting him change me. During that, Bryan attacked me once, just liked Dean did with you." Sam shuddered at the memory of Dean's wild look and actions.

"I never wanna see him again like that" Lorie continued. "He's still trying to make up for it, even though I've forgiven him years ago. It wasn't him who hurt me."

"When did you become a wolf?" Sam asked, sipping his coffee.

"A few days later. And I've never been happier."

"Well, you had it easier."

"What do you mean?"

Sam leaned back in his seat with a sigh, rubbing at his neck with a grimace. The pain increased for a few seconds, tying a knot on his stomach that felt like fear.

"You lived here all your life, you have friends nearby, your family is here, too… And since you were eighteen, you shaped your life already with Bryan, so you didn't have to give it up for someone. But me…"

"There are sacrifices with every decision you make. Don't you think the outcome would be worth it?"

Sam averted his gaze from Lorie's soul-searching eyes. If he agreed to be changed, he would practically be married to Dean, right? They could live together in their own house, starting a family… It's a big change… But every big change is terrifying… isn't it?

"Go take a bath" Lorie spoke as she stood up and took Sam's cup. "Sleep on it."

Sam nodded and did just that. He just hoped his head will let him sleep and will clear out for tomorrow.

* * *

><p><em>The cracks had stopped a long time ago, giving space for the pained whines. Gentle fingers worked at raw injuries among the sandy-blonde fur. The large body curled around the smaller one, amber eyes gazing at the other in sorrow and hope. One hand reached up and stroked its head, a smile lighting up the mood. The injuries began healing in an accelerated rate. A wet nose bumped into a forearm, nudging the other with a silent "Go…"<em>

* * *

><p>A gasp filled the room and the black wolf jumped onto its feet. Julia was watching over the motionless Dean, who was now curling up, whimpering in pain. She trotted closer, looking her charge over in concern. She had seen the welts appearing then disappearing on his skin, signs of the inner fight for dominance between Dean and his wolf. She hated watching others suffer, unable to help them.<p>

Dean's eyes opened, amber color darkening back into emeralds as the wolf retreated. The man panted from exhaustion, as if he had just finished a marathon. Julia settled down on her belly next to him and Dean snuggled up against her, falling to sleep, feeling protected. Julia laid her head onto his and closed her eyes, relieved that this was over.

* * *

><p>Sam hummed as he cleaned the table with a wet cloth. Lorie and Bryan were out on a stroll together, so he snuck in some repayment by cleaning up the kitchen. The gauze on his neck was deemed unnecessary this morning. Bryan said that his wound healed a bit faster than normal, so they let it be aired a little. The pain had finally subsided, as well. It must be Dean's blood still working in his system, since the others assured him multiple times that the bite hadn't turned him.<p>

He felt lighter than in the last few days, his head finally finished sorting out the mess inside. Sam was able to overlook and examine his thoughts about his situation much better. Every problem had its own place and he could revisit them any time he wanted. Now, however, he was giving it a rest, at least for now.

A knock broke the silence of the house and Sam threw the cloth into the sink before answering the door. His eyes widened at the sight of the guest.

"Hey, Sam" Dean greeted him, face pale, voice weak and shaky. His wide emerald eyes were full of fear, hope, even acceptance and Sam knew it was for his rejection. But Sam was only looking for one thing: his humanity.

" I'm so sorry about what I did…" Dean apologized, when he got no reaction. "I had no control, your scent just drove the wolf crazy. But it's not gonna happen again, I-"

Two arms yanking him into a tight hug stopped the tumble of his words. He needed a moment to pull through his shock then he was hugging Sam back with the same strength as his mate used.

"I missed you…" Sam whispered into his ear, fisting the back of Dean's shirt. Dean pressed a kiss onto his neck and breathed him in with a nuzzle, stroking Sam's back, taking in the feel of his mate back in his arms.

"Me, too…"

* * *

><p>Sam watched as Dean slept his fatigue off. After everything, they were back together in Julia's house, in the king bed they were used to. Dean had told Sam everything that'd happened while he was safely kept away from danger. Sam was now holding Dean in his arms, so the man could show off his weakened state and the raw need he was trying to hide in front of everyone. Dean was still clutching at Sam's shirt, scared to lose his mate. Sam felt privileged to witness this side of the usually stronger man.<p>

Would there be other moments like this if they lived together? Sam was the submissive, the "girl" in this relationship. Will he be able to be the stronger of the two sometimes? Will Dean let him see a softer, maybe even weaker side of him a little more often? He wanted to know the answer to these questions and more so much, but how could he get them if he didn't commit? He had to choose Dean to find these things out.

He always dreamed of a home with a loving partner, a small house, kids running around in the backyard, maybe even a dog… As he looked into one of the possible future's, he could see his dream coming true… _Even the dog,_ he snickered softly. It's not like there weren't people, who dropped everything they had if they found a better life. Why couldn't he do that?

It's not like he was making a huge mistake by bonding himself to Dean. He knew he was destined to be Dean's mate, the others reassured him about that fact a lot of times. Julia even explained it to him. He was glad every test turned out to be "positive", since there had been times when a couple bonded without being absolutely sure they were meant to be together, or at least fit to be together. The end result was never pretty.

But Dean and he weren't like that. Judging by the result from Dean's blood, which according to Julia was the best indicator of being true mates, they belonged together: Sam belonged to Dean. _And Dean belongs to me,_ he thought firmly, a low purr in the back of his mind returning in answer. Looks like his submissive side has befriended the thought of dominating once or twice in their relationship.

Dean shifted in his sleep, nuzzling Sam's chest, his arms tightening around Sam's torso. Sam stroked Dean's hair with a small smile, feeling the love towards this man coursing through him, filling him up with warmth. He enjoyed lying with Dean like this, the heat of another body snuggled into his comforting him. He wouldn't mind waking up this way every day, or spending time on lazy weekends in bed.

_I think I know what I want now…_

* * *

><p>When he woke up – he didn't even realize he fell back to sleep – he knew he had to talk to Dean, because he finally decided. But as he sat up and looked around, he couldn't find the man anywhere. His heart sped up a little in fear. Could've Dean left him again, thinking it would be safer for Sam? He quickly jumped out of bed and dressed, running down the stairs and into the kitchen. He slid to a halt when his eyes drank in the sight: Julia and Dean looking at him confused, sitting at the table with their breakfasts.<p>

"Hey, er, morning" Sam forced the words out through the awkwardness and his deepening blush.

"Morning, sweetie" Julia greeted him with a wide smile.

"Everything okay?" Dean asked, his features slowly morphing into worry.

"Yeah, yeah, just… um…" Sam swallowed as he willed his heart to slow down. Dean seemed to realize something, sadness flitting through his eyes momentarily.

"You want breakfast?" Julia asked, breaking up the solemn moment.

"No, no" Sam replied, then remembering his choice, he turned to Dean. "Can we talk?"

Dean nodded and followed Sam into the living room. The boy sat onto the couch, watching Dean patiently until the man sat down.

"What is it, Sammy?" Dean asked a bit concerned. Sam took a deep breath before starting:

"I've been thinking a lot these days, about us, me being your mate and our bonding. You know how much I was considering everything. But now…" Sam took another deep breath to calm the squirming in his gut. "I made a decision." Dean's eyes widened at the statement. Since he seemed speechless, Sam continued:

"I…"

Whatever he wanted to say was cut off by the shrill ringing of Sam's cell phone. With an annoyed huff, Sam yanked the phone out of his pocket, but one glance at the flashing screen made him lose his breath.

"Who's calling?" Dean asked, a bit shaken from the sudden interruption.

"My boss" Sam replied slowly. He couldn't believe it. One tiny link to his normal life he forgot about was just calling him. Not knowing what to do all of a sudden, he looked at Dean.

"You should answer it" the man said gently, a little worried about the wide-eyed, scared look. Sam nodded and did just that then lifted the phone to his ears.

"Hello? …" Dean watched the boy, giving him privacy by not listening in on the other side of the conversation. "Yes? … Yes, sir… Oh…" the soft, deflated exclamation frightened Dean. What could they possibly be talking about? "Oh… Yes, sir… Thanks… Goodbye…" Sam ended the phone call and lowered his hand into his lap. His eyes were downcast, avoiding Dean's gaze.

"So what did your boss want?" Dean asked, trying to remain light-hearted, while inside he was burning up from worry and fear. Sam's silence scared him more than anything.

Finally the stillness of the room was broken by Sam's quiet reply:

"Renovations are done in the shop."

Dean was a bit confused. What shop was Sam talking about? Why would it concern the boy? And why was he so depressed by it? However, the next sentence cleared everything up for him:

"I can go back to work on Monday."

"Oh" Dean repeated the same little exclamation that Sam had uttered out earlier. He felt his own gloom surround him, thanks to this turn of events. Sam finally dared to raise his eyes at him, a look of plea in them. Dean was certain that this messed everything up inside the boy. To think about all the difficulty it took for Sam to organize his thoughts and feelings… And it was all scattered around by a simple phone call…

"And?" Dean asked silently. "What… What will you do?"

"I don't know" Sam answered in a quieter voice. "I just… don't know…"

Dean sighed deeply. Sam was in a very uncertain place right now. On one side were Dean and this whole new life waiting for him, wanting him to join and embrace it. On the other side, though, stood the stable monument of a normal life with friends, a house and a great job. Dean knew Sam must be very torn about choosing between them. He had to give up one side to have the other. There was no other way. Dean was absolutely sure Sam loved him with all his heart and would do anything to be with him. However, Sam had this other life that he built up with his own efforts. It was too valuable to just throw away.

So, Dean knew what he should do to ease his mate's mind.

"You should go back" he spoke barely above a whisper. Sam, who had bowed his head again during Dean's consideration, snapped his head up in fright and surprise. "Start working again… Live your life…"

"What?" Sam choked out. He didn't want to believe what he just heard. Dean was sending him away? After everything? "But… I don't…"

"You should do it" Dean repeated, but it was like he was trying to convince himself. Looking up, the man saw the crushed expression on his mate's pale face. "It would do us good" he continued.

"How?" Sam's voice was now shaking, as realization started to fill him.

"It would help you" Dean answered. "You could think things through with an outside pressure." _Me,_ he thought and from Sam's expression he knew the boy had caught on. "You could reconsider everything that happened and can happen. If we can be together… If it's worth it…"

Sam wanted to interrupt the man, to yell at him for being stupid and that he loved him and would never leave him and so on… but inside he knew Dean was right. This separation could be a good test… to see if they really belong together… if they really… loved… each other… Sam felt his throat close up as these thoughts ran through his mind and he caught Dean battling with his own emotions.

"So…" he spoke in a strangled voice. "We're… breaking up?"

"It's better this way…" Dean whispered. They were sitting there, frozen in their spots, just processing what happened, for a few minutes.

With a swallow, Sam scooted closer to Dean, who instantly wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders. Sam leaned down resting his head on the man's chest, listening to the loud, slightly quick heartbeat. Dean combed his free fingers through the chestnut-brown locks, holding Sam in his place. He leant his head onto Sam's and as quiet sobs broke out of the boy, Dean shed his own tears into the silky tresses. Leaning onto the back of the couch, Dean pulled Sam close and let him rest on his chest.

A pair of hearts broke into dust in that moment, the shattering almost filling up the silence between the four walls.

* * *

><p>Sam was standing next to the Impala, throwing his duffel bag into the backseat. The sun was not up yet, but the sky was lightened by dawn. He was ready to make the trip back to Sioux Falls. He had gotten the directions from the village and it would take quite a few hours to make it back. He would arrive about midday.<p>

As he turned around, he met with the solemn expression of Julia, the look full of the strength she held inside as pack leader. The petite girl looked devastated, just like the previous afternoon when Sam had announced his decision. Next to her stood Lorie, tear tracks wading through the freckles on her cheeks, her big, blue eyes darkened by sadness. She was in Bryan's embrace. The man looked just as crushed as his cousin.

Lorie stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Sam's waist. Sam returned the hug tenderly. The girl looked so fragile like this, he was scared he would break her.

"We'll miss you" she whispered, sniffing softly. Sam tightened his hold slightly around her, and pressed a small kiss onto the blonde locks. When they separated, Lorie smiled up at him shakily before stepping back.

When Bryan embraced the boy, Sam felt his tears gather again. He would never forget the protective, brotherly hugs he received from this kind man. He couldn't help but utter a quiet 'Thank you' for all the kindness Bryan showed to him. Bryan squeezed him a little in answer and let Sam lean onto him for a few moments, giving him strength for the rest of the goodbyes.

As Bryan stepped back, Caleb appeared out of nowhere. He was standing next to his sister, shuffling his feet a little awkwardly. Finally, he slowly extended a hand towards Sam, who knew why the man was so cautious with him. With a grateful smile and no hesitation, he grasped Caleb's hand and pulled him into a hug. Caleb squeezed him, as well, and patted him affectionately on the back. Sam let him go with a smile, but it melted off as he turned to Julia.

"You know that you're welcome here anytime" Julia spoke quietly. Sam nodded gratefully. Julia then stepped closer and pulled him down into a motherly hug, stroking Sam's locks lovingly. Sam felt himself shaking from the gesture and he had to use his willpower to stop himself openly sobbing like a child. Julia shushed him gently, rocking him slightly to the sides. "Everything's gonna be okay" she whispered into his ear. Sam couldn't do anything but nod before they separated.

Julia stepped to the side and Sam's eyes landed on the porch, on the one person he wanted to see more than anyone.

Dean was standing up there, hands in his pockets, head bowed, shoulders hunched. He was the epitome of devastation. Sam walked over to him and the man visibly got himself together, straightening up to show strength. They stood there in silence for a few moments, clueless about what to say to the other, then Sam broke the ice:

"I'm gonna miss you… so much…"

Dean looked at him, almost mirroring the words and feelings that left Sam alongside that sentence. He pulled one hand from his pocket and with it a little, crudely wrapped package.

"I'm not an expert at gift-wrapping" he said, holding out the brown package. "Open it only when you miss me."

"Then I should open it right now" Sam choked out, smiling shakily through his tears. Dean huffed in answer, a smile playing on his lips.

"This way you can think of me" he finished, as Sam took the package and pocketed it.

"I don't know if I can do this" Sam whispered, his resolve breaking.

"Yes, you can" Dean replied gently, trying to give his mate courage and strength. "It will be worth it… I will always remember you." He cupped Sam's damp cheeks, guiding the hazel-green irises to his emerald ones. "And I'll be here, waiting for you to come back."

"What if I won't?" Sam blurted out suddenly, the fear that was gripping him tightly finally in the open. Dean's face fell, sadness filling his eyes at that possibility.

"Then it wasn't meant to be" he whispered, brushing his thumb over Sam's cheek, as he let him go. Sam shook his head in denial, not letting his mind even consider that. Dean finally wrapped his arms around the boy, who returned the embrace tightly. When those calloused fingers combed through Sam's hair, massaging at Sam's temple gently, Sam felt himself crumble, realizing what he was going to leave behind.

It was Dean, who separated them, reluctance written all over his face. He pulled Sam down into a tender kiss, their lips bittersweet from the painful farewell.

"I love you" Dean breathed against Sam's lips, the boy breathing in those three words like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

"I love you, too" Sam replied, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. With torturous unwillingness, he stepped back and walked back to the car. Opening the car door, he glanced back at the family he gained during his stay in the village. Lorie had buried herself into Bryan's side, sobs breaking out of her. Bryan looked close to tears, his strength crumbling as the irreversibility of this decision sank in. Caleb had an arm around his sister, who had shed her first tear. However, Sam sought that gaze behind them. Dean was still standing on the porch, watching him with so many emotions swirling in his eyes that Sam could've gotten lost in them. Fear, agony, hurt, anger, but mostly love… Love overruled everything, followed closely by hope and faith… Faith in Sam that he would return one day and they can be together… forever…

With a final wave, Sam sat into the car and turned the ignition key. As the Impala purred to life and began rolling out of the forest and away from the village, Sam felt a piece of his heart being ripped out and left behind with those loving people who had taken care of him… With that one person he loved, loves and will love forever… No matter what…

_TBC..._

* * *

><p><strong>So, this is it! Next chapter will come soon, hopefully. *grins awkwardly*<br>**

**Hope to see you at the next chapter!**


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